The Final Volume [24]
Part D.
The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As Revealed by The Shadow
with minor assistance from
F.J. Bonaccorso and
Photo Wizards R. M. Johnson and D. P. McMahon

Subtitle: "Oh-weee Baby, Won’t You Let Me Take You
On A Sea Cruise"

Special Dedication:
To the Man Who Will Forever Be
"Coach"
Happy 97th Birthday on October 14th
John R. Wooden
Winner of the Medal of Freedom
10 NCCA Basketball Championships
All-American and All-Academic at Purdue University
And he still has a valid California Driver’s License

Chalkstone Cliffs, Texas, during the Cretaceous

The intrepid pterodactyl collectors are about to get toasted.

The uplifted rock upon which Chris Gilmore and Frank Bonaccorso are standing is only a few feet above a fast flowing river of molten lava. The air temperature is reaching near lethal values. Chris faints and Frank is holding her but about to lose consciousness himself when a large menacing shadow passes overhead. No, not The Shadow, a shadow from a giant pterodactyl with a forty-foot wingspan and a beak full of serrated teeth in attack mode! Its beak lunges at Frank and he dodges sideways. The miss is a momentary reprieve. The ptero hisses and circles for another pass. As the Ptero lunges again taking dead aim for Frank who is on one knee and looking very queasy, a single pistol shot is heard. The ptero falls into the river of lava only feet in front of Frank. From the cliffs above, the Cisco Kid blows smoke away from the barrel of his gun.

Pancho: Hey, Cisco, that may be the best shot I ever see you make, Keeeed. You hit that big flying lizard in the eye.
The Cisco Kid: It was a good shot, Pancho, but the best shot I ever took, no, I donne theenk so.
The best shot I ever took was in Dodge City back in '62 when I shot the belt buckle off the holster of Jay Pelzer on that day he was drunk and challenged Wyatt Earp to a duel.
Pancho: Oh, yes, that was a good shot too. Jay was only a freshman then, and trying to make a name for himself. By unarming Jay you prevented Wyatt from shooting him dead. And Wyatt would have shot him because Jay was calling him every foul name under the sun. Oh-oh, maybe you deed not save Frank for long, look Keeeed.

Frank finally succumbs to the heat and fumes and falls on the rocky pedestal. But wait!
A new flying figure descends from the sky and closes in on Frank and Chris. It is Liz “Wingfoot” Healy carrying Tom “Marshmellow Man”Marsh. Tom stretches his marshmallow arms and grabs Chris and Frank. The superheroes fly off with the two unconscious expedition members just seconds before the pillar of chalkstone upon which they had been laying collapses into the river of lava.

Inside the Monarch II
Dave Nehen: I have the controls. Prepare for time transport. Three, two, one ……. Poof! The Monarch II is no longer in the Cretaceous.

Outside the town limits of Norfolk, Nebraska
Ken Meddock: (on cell phone.) Hi Dan, this is Ken. Hey, I am on the road for the USC at Nebraska football game. Funky think happened on the way to the game. There is this huge billboard just outside of Norfolk, saying 'Home of Danny McMahon'. What is that all about?
Dan McMahon: Ken, Norfolk recently gave me the key to the city and made me an honorary citizen in recognition of my first anniversary on The Tonight Show. Seems they appreciate all the recognition we have given to Johnny Carson. Norfolk is Johnny’s hometown. Hey we got a great show tonight, be sure and watch, some old Alemany friends are appearing.
Ken: Like whom?
Dan: Well, we are leading off with Kevin McHugh and his dancing polar bears. Then John Barreiro will be talking about his visit to the Cretaceous Era and will show his Pterodactyl photos. He has some incredible still photos of a giant pterodactyl about to take Bonaccorso’s head off. Marsha Edenhofer will be here to demonstrate gourmet campout cooking. And finally Doug Rex and John Gugerty will be on to challenge me to a basketball-dunking contest.

Heeeeere’s Ken having found Danny’s billboard in Nebraska.

Basement of the Playboy Mansion
Dr. Alan Shows: Chris and Frank are both awake and though very weak, they are each out of harms way. In a couple of days Chris will be rock climbing again, no doubt.
Greg Pokoriski: That is great news, Al. Well, we almost had our pterodactyl mascot for Alemany that time.
Terry Mock: Yes, but we are, how shall I say, not financially solvent anymore. We blew all the money that Oscar Rivera and Marty Molidor donated to the Time Travel Foundation.
Cha Cha Faitel: And even worse, Hugh Hefner has given us an eviction notice. We are three months arrears in our rent. I can't believe he would do that to us.
Terry: Yes, but the good news is that while we still had funds, I purchased tickets for all of us to be on the Alemany Reunion Cruise. So everyone pack a bag and see you on the SS Pterodactyl, San Pedro Harbor, tomorrow morning.
Pat Dolan: Wow, a cruise. Is the food included in our tickets?
Terry: Everything is included. Just be there.
Bill Danaher: Just one last thing. Don't anyone mention when Chris is present that the Cisco Kid shot a pterodactyl to save them. You all know how Chris loves Pteros.

Aboard the SS Pterodactyl
Lester Dunkin: It’s all clear now. You can come out from under the tarp, Elvis.
Elvis Presley: Well, hush my sweet puppies. Look down there. It's Bobbie Mosher about to board our lil’ old tugboat if she can get past that guy with the police motorcycle.
Who is that guy?
Lester: Geesh, that looks like Dave Nehen. I haven’t seen him since graduation at Alemany. Yo, Dave, up here. Hello.
Dave: Is that you, Lester? See you in a minute. Gotta get my police cruiser stowed properly.
Lester: Elvis, maybe we should wait until a better moment to let Bobbie see you are here. After all, she thinks you are dead from the space battle those slimy aliens.
Elvis: Yes, I think that would be best, Lester, good ol' buddy.

Dave Nehen refuses to leave his police special behind.

George Duggan: Ummm. Hmmm. I guess we can store your vehicle on C deck fantail. This seaman will escort you there.
Dave: Thank you, George.
Abbott Francis: Hello, I am Abbott Francis, you knew me as Tom Benedict. Permission to come aboard? You look familiar, did you go to Alemany?
George: Yes, Class of ’66. Just like you Abbot. I am First Officer George Duggan. And who is this behind you?
Tom: Tim Benedict, also from Valyermo.
George: Welcome aboard. If you will head through that door and turn left, you will find Penny and Pam Mertens at the Alemany registration desk signing folk into their rooms.

In a field north of Hansen Dam
Kathy Martin: Excuse me, sir. I’m having a little trouble finding my way to San Pedro. Can you tell me what direction I should be heading? I am desperate to get to my High School Reunion cruise.

Who g-nuuuu that you could ride so well, Kathryn?

Farmer: That mount is looking a bit tuckered. Not sure you are going to make it on that.
Kathryn: Beuhlia is a little run down and needs some water and oats. Have you got a mount I can trade you for now. I will gladly bring your animal back here on my way back north.
Farmer: Weeeeell, I don’t know. That is an awful scrawny nag.
Kathryn: Oh, please sir. I just have to get to San Pedro. I will let you hold my gold watch until I return your animal.
Farmer: It’s against my best judgment. (He eyeballs the watch.) But, ok. I got an animal you can ride.

San Pedro Harbor:
And now the Alemanians were streaming aboard the SS Pterodactyl arriving by every means and conveyance imaginable. On came Brenda Biafora, Judith Ann Campbell, and Lillian Zevallos landing dockside in a hot air balloon. Greg and Thomas Williams raced each other on pogo sticks. Catherine Weigand had a hired rickshaw from Chinatown. Sheila Cotter took Amtrak from Little Rock, Arkansas, to Union Station and thence by taxi. Everyone boarding received a copy of the Reunion Cruise Special Edition of the PowWow, hot off the presses, from Adam Marx and Tom McClanahan.

George Duggan was checking off names on the entry roster, and meeting and greeting. Old memories flooded into his mind of days of yester year. Jim “The Pelican” Walker came aboard dribbling a basketball between his legs, Jan Wherley led a llama, Dave Gieg, Rich Corona, and Joel Dispenza wore tattered and much revered Alemany football jerseys bearing numbers 11, 83, and 36 respectively. Leo Restrich boarded shaking his head with frustration at having received a citation at the bottom of the gangway from Tom Tona for having his shirttail not tucked. Sheesh, some things never change.

Leo, don’t look so surprised.
You know Alemany regulations explicitly require shirttails tucked-in.
We cropped the photo so as not to have evidence that can be used against Leo
if he appeals to Father Weber.

Chris Menke came dressed as Captain Brackett as if prepared to go into character for South Pacific. Terry Mock came aboard with a fishing pole and a vest with all sorts of fancy-tied fishing flies. Willie Melendres serenaded those boarding with a version of Walk Don’t Run on his trumpet. Pam Longworth twirled a baton and wore a feathered Indian bonnet. And still they came; Mary Howard, Stephen Kohler, Terry Jenkins, Jeannine Sherman, Gail Runyon, and Maria Martinez were chatting up a storm and pretending to recognize each other. Peggy Jones arrived in a stretch limo and blew a kiss to Elton John who with chagrin re-entered the limo after Peggy stomped her foot and said, "Absolutely no, you cannot come aboard, this is strictly an Alemany family shindig. Go by some new rhinestone clothes, and I will see you when I am back, darrrrrling."

And then a loud clear voice, above the chatter and footsteps was heard. "Clear the gangway, we're coming up." Two Indian maidens dressed in garnet skirts with white fringe and white gloves commenced to run toward the ship. Pam Brockert and her younger sister Tina, went into a run and then proceeded to tumble and cartwheel the entire way up the gangway, past a befuddled George Duggan, who simply said in a passive whisper, "Permission to come aboard, I guess".

Kathy Bridge, Tina Cross, and Tom Stratton were pulled aboard faster than they wanted to go, all three tugging on a leash that was attached to a ......Lion, the class mascot of the Monarchs, now with a full mane of black hair, was not to be left behind. Tom, looking dapper in his letterman sweater, was heard to tell Kathy, "Good thing we fed him that goat haunch before we came aboard". And not so far behind were two more lions, but these were bipedal. At the top of the gangway, one lion lifted off its fake head, and said, "Hi, I’m Monica DeLaScotta, I was an exchange student in 1966.”" The other lion would not take off his or her costume head, but simply said, "Grrrrr". George replied, "Oh, permission to come aboard granted".

Next up the gangway was Sandra Cafaro, "Was that a real lion that I just saw?"
William "Bob" Daniel: At least one of them was a real lion. Hi, I’m Bob Daniel.
I don’t think we ever met, did we?
Sandra: Perhaps not, I didn't know many boys at Alemany. Sure wish we had more classes together with you boys.
Bob: Don’t we all regret that.
Patricia Rohr: I second that emotion.

Peggy Catron, Liz “Duchess” Collins, Mike Davis, Bobbi Fisher, and Chris Gordon were all happily chattering and walking toward the SS Pterodactyl, but all suddenly went silent. Over the edge of the dock a figure all in black except for a large red muffler that covered most of his face, stalked toward them, or really toward the gangplank. The figure tipped his hat and paced up the gangplank while the group below scratched their heads and finally…..
Mike: Who was that masked man?
Duchess: I'm pretty sure that was (in a hushed tone)…..The Shadow.
Peggy: No way? Really?
Bobbi: Gee willickers! A real superhero!
Chris: I wonder if I can get his autograph. Come on. Don't be lagging behind, everyone.

Cover of Issue #1 of The Shadow by DC Comics.

Malibu Canyon:
Kathryn Martin: Good afternoon. Nice day ain't it.
Hippy homesteader couple: (They do a double take).
Man: Who the heck are you?
Lady: We don't want no trouble.
Kathyrn: I’m just trying to find my way to San Pedro Harbor.
Man: Lady, you are a long way from there.

Wouldn't you do a double take if you saw this on your property?

Upon the SS Pterodactyl:
George: Welcome, Shadow. Come right aboard, your usual stateroom is all prepared.
Shadow: Thank you, George. Up for a bit of five-card stud tonight?
George: I promised myself never to play cards again with a man who reads minds, so no thank you. But you may find Madame Zazza will be interested. She may be your equal in mind reading, Shadow. She is in Cabin 72C.
Shadow: We shall see.

The Bridge, SS Pterodactyl
Father Frank Wagner: Your ship is very impressive, thanks for the tour, Art.
Sister St. Margaret: We won’t have to worry about seasickness, will we, Captain Durazo?
Art: We are expecting calm seas, Sister. Don’t you worry a bit. And please, Sister, call me, Art.
St Margaret: Ok, Art.
Art: Well, if you two will excuse me, I have another faculty tour to lead with Dr. Parza, Coach Ahn, Father Cunningham, Mrs. Patella, and Dr. Holmes. Gadzooks! What is that, that, that, thing doing on my ship?
Father Wagner: A rather strange object. I am sure it was not there a moment ago. It seems to be releasing a good deal of steam.
Sister Rose Bernard: Oh my. I hope it isn't an alien attack. You know, I read somewhere that little purple aliens got Elvis. Or maybe it was Bobbie Mosher that told me that. Bobbie has always had quite an imagination.
Art: I'm sure it's nothing like that, Sister. I'll have our security team check it out.

A door on the strange object opens and out steps………not a little purple alien but…..

To Be Continued………

The Final Volume [24]
Part C.
The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As Revealed by The Shadow
with minor assistance from
F.J. Bonaccorso and
Photo Wizards R. M. Johnson and DP McMahon


This Issue is Dedicated to the Memory of a Great Yankee
The Scooter, Phil Rizzuto

Holy Cow!

Subtitle: The Roller Derby Queen
2nd Subtitle: The Battle of the Great Prognosticators

Chalkstone Cliffs, Texas, 65 million years ago, minus a few minutes.
Chris Gilmore: Frank, can you hear me.
Frank Bonaccorso: I copy, Chris.
Chris: Sad news, the ptero chick in this nest is dead.
Frank: Bummer. Ok, what do you suggest?
Chris: Peggy, found another nest 50 yards south. We will proceed to check it out.
Frank: Roger that.
Suddenly the ground shakes and rocks fall from the cliffs.
Frank: Are you all right up on top?
Kathy Gordon: We are fine, Frank.
Then the ground shakes even more violently. The ground crew takes cover under a rock ledge as massive boulders come down from the cliffs.
Tim Jordan (from the gyrocopter): Frank, there is a big increase in the plume of ash coming up from the volcano. And lava is starting to flow from the side.
Frank: How bad does it look, Tim?
Tim: Lava is headed your way. You need to get the crew out.
Frank: All hands, we are shutting down the mission. All ground crew except head back to the Monarch II immediately. Tim give us five more minutes of air time to keep an eye on things, then head to the Monarch yourself.
Tim: Roger that.
Frank: Climbing team report.
Peggy: Chris is almost up on top of the second nest.
Frank: Everyone come down from that cliff, now.
Peggy: We are on the way.

Midnight on the USS Pterodactyl, San Pedro Harbor
There is a pajama party going on in the Lussier-Padberq cabin.
A rope drops over the side from an upper deck of the ship. A figure dressed entirely in black rappels down the side of the ship and stops at a lighted porthole. The black figure peers in the porthole.
Monique: AAAAAcccck. There was a face in the window.
Claudia Haugh Stepan: Call for the captain! I want to go home.

SPORTS FLASH!!!
Babs Da Bruiser Dominates Texas Roller Girls:
Retired Psychologist and Grandma
Wreaks Havoc with Team from Del Rio

Austin Holy Rollers 25, Del Rio Señoritas En Fuego 17
Austin, Texas, Shadow News Reporter, Frank Del Olmo

Babs 'Da Bruiser' Broeski scored 18 of the 25 match points for the Austin City Holy Rollers to soundly thrash the visiting Del Rio Senoritas En Fuego in the Texas League. The founder of the Bill Gates Institute, formerly known around the institute as Dr. Barb, recently left her white coat and notepads behind in Seattle to move to the Lone Star State and take up Roller Derby. After showing her stuff in a league open trials last week, Babs was immediately signed for six figures by the Roller Girls. Roller Girls coach, Ken "The Black Hat" Matwickzak, himself a retread from the NFL, praised the offense and defense of Da Bruiser in his press conference after the match. "Babs is the most dominating figure in Roller Derby in 25 years. She took three of the En Fuego girls out of the match and they are still counting the teeth that were knocked out. That elbow block she put on Marsha Mankiller Haney crushed the comeback thoughts of En Fuego in the 34th minute." It was revealed after the match that Mankiller skated the final minutes with a dislocated shoulder. "That Broeski girl is unrelenting", said Mankiller after the match. "I can't put my finger on her, but she reminds me of someone I knew back in High School".

Babs Da Bruiser leads the pack with determination and true grit
while Marsha Mankiller trails the pack in red.
What No Tattoo’s Bruiser?

With the victory, the Rollers moved ahead of the San Antonio Roadrunners and into first place in the League. The Holy Rollers next appear in an international friendly match against the visiting Norwegian Flicka from Tromso, Norway, on Sunday.
Da Bruiser advised her younger team mates "not to fear the Flicka because they are just a bunch of big fat Brunhildas". Asked why she left a comfortable life in the Northwest, Da Bruiser revealed, "This was my dream since 10th Grade. Roller derby rocks".

Live on the set of the Tonight Show, Hollywood, California
Ed McMahon: Tonight's guests are:
Rock 'n Roll Sensation, Peggy Jones with the Cootie Kat Barnblasters,
Also here with crime fighting tips are
Crime buster Sleuth from the Italian Carribinieri,
Scchief Inspector Eugene Rapposelli,
and
Superhero, Spud "The Black Magister” Spadero",
But there is more, discussing his recent road trip,
Wild Hog and Super Ski Box Putzscher, Joe Dispenza,
And last but not least,
Special Guest, CarMac The Magnificent.

Wild Hog or Road Hog?
Why isn't Dispenza wearing his letterman sweater?

Ed McMahon: We will have CarMac making his predications for 2007 right after this message from Li'l Doni Swenson Jelly Beans.

Li'l Doni at the Jelly Bean Diner,
the world’s only diner exclusively serving gourmet jellybeans.

Doni Swenson: Hi folks. We are celebrating Labor Day at Li'l Doni's. And to mark this holiday we debut this week our newest jellybean flavor, Habañero Pepper Jelly Beans. It will knock your socks off. Unless you are Andy Kotnik because surfer dudes never wear socks. With an order of 100 pounds of Habañero jellies we are offering a free month of Sparklett’s Water and a dispenser – and boys and girls you will appreciate having water available when you chew into these fireballs. Call to order at Li'l Doni's, that’s 988 77-JELLY. And for the first 100 orders you will get absolutely free, the new Nun’s For Fun CD, Rockin' In The Chapel Again. But that's not all. If you call before the end of tonight's show I am going to give you a replica model of the Five President’s of Mt Rushmore with Jude Hawkes' glow in the dark blinking eyes. Now back to The Tonight Show with Ed McMahon and CarMac The Magnificent.

Ed McMahon: Heeeeeeer’s CarMac. As you know we give CarMac the answer to questions which have been hermetically sealed in envelopes kept in a mayonnaise jar under the back porch at Funk and Wagnall’s. Are you ready for the first answer, oh magnificent one?
CarMac aka Dan McMahon: Ready, Eddie.

CarMac The Magnificent looks like someone I knew in High School.

Ed: The first answer is “putrid, rotten wolverine meat”
CarMac: “Putrid, rotten, wolverine meat”. The question is, “What does David Surges feed guests that visit in Duluth”. I think he withholds it from his sled dogs when he has really special guests.

Burbank, California, simultaneously on the air in the battle for TV ratings and the personal battle of the prognosticators at the Richard Carvotta Show.

Rich Carvotta: Tonight my guests are:
Dancing With the Stars Champion, Alfonso Covarrubias,
Golf Legend wearing his Green Jacket, Ken Meddock,
The winner of the Kentucky Derby, Jockey, Marie Chris Checkie Kinkaid,
World Record Tuna Fisherman, Danny Colonello,
With musical guests Bob Orlando and the Rastafarian Ragtime Polka Band,
And to start the show the Prognostications of the incredible Madame Zazza.

We will be right back after a word from Karen King Bonsai Trees.

Madame Zazza consults the crystal ball.
So does Madame Z look like Joann Guzzardi????
Wally Franklin says, “Yes” but Wally Ernsdorf says, “Not a chance.”
Tilt your monitor forward and back to see if you think it is Joann.

Following the commercial break we rejoin the Richard Carvotta show:
Madame Zazza: Ahhhhaaaa, to the Answer, "Putrid, rotten, wolverine meat", the question is, "The University of Michigan football team after a thrashing by Appalachian State".

Rich Carvotta: They will never forget that home opener game in Ann Arbor. Moving along, the next answer, Madame Z, is "$39.99".
Madame Z: I can see it now in the crystal ball, the question fitting that answer is, "The cost of Dave Gieg's new suit purchased from the bargain basement counter at the San Fernando Woolworth's Five and Dime Fire Sale". Easily the best suit Gieg ever owned.

CarMac: Hmmmmm. "$39.99" The question is "What was Jim Dantona's signing bonus with the Chicago Cubs".

Ed: What is the question that goes with this answer? "Serengeti Seduction of a Bat Naturalist"
CarMac: It’s very foggy, but it is coming to me. Hang on a moment. Ahhhhh yes, "What is the title of Theresa (Boyle)Southwick's next million seller romance novel?

Madame Z: Really, "Serengeti Seduction of a Bat Naturalist"? You mean Frank Bonaccorso finally got laid? Now that is remarkable! That guy usually gets no respect from women.
Carvotta: That really isn't a prognostication, Zazza. I read the advance manuscript of Terry Boyle's new book too. Frank almost gets laid after saving Scarlett Johannsen from a charging herd of African Buffalo, but then in the midst of a wet kiss, Scarlett hears the call of the jungle, "Aaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaa" followed by the arrival of vine swinging Jay "Tarzan" Pelzer.

Scarlett wearing scarlet and Jay wearing his usual almost nothing at all.
Maybe Dave Gieg can send Pelzer one of his old suits.

Jay: Me, Tarzan. You, Jane?
Scarlett: Me, Scarlett. Him, Frankie Joe. You, big muscular, sexy, Tarzan. VaaaaVaaaVoom.
Frank: Oh, for crying out loud, cut the baby talk. Hey, Scarlett, I just saved your life from a herd of buffalo, while Jay Boy was playing with his…….
But the instant chemistry of Tarzan and Jane is sizzling, and Jay grabs Scarlett and swings off on his…..
Frank: ……vine. Well, this is not 'vine' with me. What a revolting development this turns out to be. No respect, again! Dr. Barb, I need you.

{Fade Out Carvotta Show, Fade in Tonight Show.}

Ed: Here is the final answer for your prognosticator's talent tonight, Oh Magnificent CarMac. CarMac takes the envelope from McMahon, holds the envelope to his forehead for a moment, and then rips the end of the envelope off with his teeth to read……………
CarMac: "The Alemany Class of 1966" Well Ed, you finally stumped me, I have never heard of an Alemany? Is that a disease? An extinct bird? A board game? Nope, never heard of an Alemany. I give up.

{Back at the Carvotta Show}

Madame Z: Ooooo, la la. Zee famous "Alemany Class of 1966". But of course, the question is "What is the greatest high school class ever?" The school of Christi Brecht, Dr. Alan Shows, Al Vicuna, Judy Pfeiffer and King Rex Olliff among others.
Rich Carvotta: It is a good school. Hey, Madame Z, are you ready for some Rasta Ragtime Polka? Featuring Ann Beal Logan on the accordion, take it away Bob Orlando.
Bob: And a one, two, three……
Bubbles and laser lights come down on stage with the music…….

USS Pterodactyl, San Pedro Harbor
Captain Arthur Durazo: Now what exactly did you see Monique?
Monique: It was a hideous face. It was horrible.
Art: Any distinguishing features?
Monique: Well, his nose was huge and flat, his eyes were beady, and he had long side-burns.
Art: Could the nose have been distorted because it was pressed against the glass?
Monique: Could have been, perhaps.
Art: Mr. Duggan, have every hand search the ship from stem to stern for stow-aways.
George Duggan: Aye, aye, Captain. Anything else, Sir.
Art: Yes, hoist the jib, batten the hatches, and weigh the anchor.
George: I weighed the anchor yesterday, sir, and frankly every time you give that command, I find the anchor to weigh 3 tons.

Poop Deck, USS Pterodactyl:
Lester Dunkin: You did what?
Elvis: Well, I wanted to see if Bobbie Mosher was here yet.
Rover: Arrf, arrf.
Lester: Rover, says someone is coming. We have to hide. Quick get under the canvas of that life boat, we are not allowed to have dogs on board. Come on, Rover, jump.

Chalkstone Cliffs, Cretaceous Texas
Frank: Come in Monarch II, this is Frank.
Dave Nehen: This is the Monarch, Bill Danaher, Peggy Jones, and Kathy Gordon are already aboard. Tim just set the gyro down beside us and is coming aboard now. You have to get out of there, Frank.
Frank: The lava is getting close. Oh, goodness gracious sakes alive, there is lava streaming to my left. It’s so hot.
Dave: Get out of there.
Frank: I can see Chris Gilmore rappelling down now. Have to help…… And then only static is broadcast from Frank’s end.
Chris is helped by Frank from the rope to the rocky floor of the cliffs. There is a racing torrent of lava to there left. And now there is lava to the right. They jump onto an uplifted bench of chalkstone, and suddenly lava flows all around them. The heat is intense. The lava is eating away the base of the chalkstone that keeps Chris and Frank from being roasted flesh.
Chris: I am so sorry, I got you into this mess, Frank. I know I should have come down sooner, but…..
Frank: If anybody is responsible for this predicament, it is me. Gosh, it is getting hot. We don’t have much time, Chris, there is something I always wanted to tell you……

Are Frank and Chris doomed to be incinerated by lava?

Can anything save them?

Check back soon for Part D of the Final Volume.

Before we leave you here are the results of the
Icons of Los Angeles contest.
The most beloved Icon of LA as voted by you the readers is:

The Pink Lady,
seen here being destroyed by LA County Workers.

And our contest essay co-winners are:
The ever dashing, Leonard DiTrapani who wrote:

My vote.... and its a tough one to decide. Frank, you really did pick out the most outstanding landmarks of our time for this competition, and I'm definitely torn about this decision, because they are ALL TIME GREATS! Ahhh the Pink Lady of Malibu. Yes I DID see that one, several times within a few days. Me and my surfing buddies couldn't get enough and went back and forth through the tunnel several times in one day just to take another look. But alas... it was gone all too soon. Sure brought back some good memories though. But that’s not my vote for the best icon. Then there was the Van Nuys Drive-in Theater, with it classic early California Mission theme artwork on the back of the screen for all to see and there was no mistake as to where you were going. Wow, talk about some more Great recollections! More than once I got into that place in the truck of my friends '52 Chevy. Two people in the front seat and two in the trunk. Damn that was fun. But again, not my numero uno. The 'Hollywood' sign. Well, it speaks for itself. Not much more can be said. Drove up there a couple of times for the view and got pinched by the cops for hanging out there one night with two friends and a couple of beers that we quickly dumped as they approached. Its STILL there and probably always will be so.... again not my winning pick. Randy's Donuts. Who HADN'T gone there just to say you did. Another Great icon but nope, not the one. BOB's BIG BOY. Wouldn't blame anyone for this choice either. Soooo many trips to the drive-in. Sooo many Big Boy hamburgers and a cherry coke. Too much fun on a constant basis. The guys, the girls the cars, and the waitresses. Soooo many memories there too. Like I said Frank, you didn't make this easy. Rocky and Bullwinkle and of course Captain 'Wrong Way' Peachfuzz.. Hokey Smoke, Loved that cartoon show and watched it as much as possible. And it was narrated by the rotund William Conrad... God rest his soul. But my favorite part of the show were the 'Fractured Fairy Tales. and Aesop's Fables'. and the narrating voice of the late great Hans Conried. Oh yea, Peabody's Incredible Tales with his boy Sherman.P.S., It was Boris Badinov. But once again, close, but no cigar. Ahhh, and now the Grand Prize Winner. Well, to me anyway. YEP, Felix the Cat at the Felix Chevy lot on Figueroa in LA. Now, I didn't go down there all the time but did pass it by on many occasions. ALWAYS loved the sign. It's at the apex of all BIG NEON signs of the times, including the Brown Derby, (which you didn't list.) And Felix the cat was an icon himself. As a kid I used to love those cartoons. Oh sure laugh at me if you like but I bet you'll have to admit that you remembered watching Felix with his bag o' tricks, the 'Professor, and Rock Bottom always trying to out do the jaunty black cat and Felix always coming out on top. The Cat, the cartoon and the SIGN, its a triple header! And that gets my vote... And as Felix use to say at the end of every adventure...LadiOoooooo!

Leonard J. DiTrapaniaka....Pani

and
The lovely Christi Brecht who wrote:

I cannot make up my mind anyway (as to her favorite). I remember them all and love them all. I try to hike often in Griffith Park so the Hollywood sign helps me know where I am. The Pink Lady reminds me of the oppression of things sexual in the sixties. It was bursting out everywhere especially in any form of art. Now you can turn on TV and find most anything. The health clinic I go to is in the same block as Bob's in Toluca Lake. The problem being is that those delicious hamburgers, fries and shakes are not on my diet anymore either. I loved Randy's donuts. There was one at my bus stop in Van Nuys. I knew the jingle from Felix's even though I had no idea where that intersection was in my teens. AH THE DRIVE-IN. I was not allowed to go on a date to that den of iniquity. I would find out where the show at the drive-in was playing in the theatre so I could report back a synopsis. Yes I lied. I have paid back in karma many times for my untruths. I use to watch Rocky and Bullwinkle after school but seeing it on Sunset was not too big of a deal because I had left the cartoon world by the time I saw the production offices. These were just a few thoughts I had when I saw these pictures.

Bonus Supplement 24B
to The Final Volume 24
The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As Revealed by The Shadow
with minor assistance from
F.J. Bonaccorso

Title: Here We Go Loop-de-loop.

Special Dedication: To Lost Icons of Los Angeles

See the very end of this issue for instructions on how to vote in the
Los Angeles Icon of the 20th Century Contest.


New Flash! News Flash! News Flash!

CNN News Desk, Atlanta, Georgia
News Anchor Linda Louise Bishop Catlin: We go to Des Moines, Iowa, where Mary Jo LaPorte Cullum is standing by with results of today’s little known Democratic Straw Poll. Who is the big winner Mary Jo?
Mary Jo: Hello Linda Louise, Iowa has spoken. Bob Guerrero has won a resounding 52% of the votes in this first state straw pole of the year for the Democratic Party. The Vice President far outdistanced Hilary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama, who each drew 19% of the vote. The heartland of America has spoken first and spoken loud, Iowa declares for Guerrero. Back to you, Linda.
Linda: And now to CNN Sport Editor, Ron Lopez.
Ron: Thank you, Linda. While scandals recently have rocked baseball, football, and the Tour de France, the world has taken to the very new sport of Ski-Box Racing. Over 800,000 people from the world over are lining the slopes of the Matterhorn today for the final race of the 1st International Ski-Box Racing Federation Championship. And what a race it promises to be! Our own Virginia Ortiz is at the Matterhorn to call the race in a CNN Sports Special. Come in, Virginia.
Virginia: Hi Ron. This amazing crowd is fired-up for a sporting spectacle today. Amid blustering wind and a light freak summer snow, the fans are doing the WAVE up and down the slopes of Matterhorn. Special Guest, Schief Inspectore Eugene Raposelli, the hero of the Las Panteras Rosas crime-busting case has just cut the yellow ribbon to open the course in a special ceremony. There were many Hollywood stars partying last night in Zermatt and now here for this racing spectacle. Among Hollywood notables in attendance are Bob Orlando, Danny McMahon, Rich Carvotta, Kathy Gibson, and Peggy Jones. As for the race, it will be the Swedish-Polish coalition with Marilyn Gadomski driving the Swedish Bullet against the USA and Kit Figliozzi in the Red Baron. Unbelieveably, both drivers graduated from the same grammar school, St. Ferdinand’s in San Fernando and both graduated from the same high school, Bishop Alemany of Mission Hills. These drivers are known for taking daring lines through tight curves. Today, for the first time ever in ski-box, 60 foot high loop-de-loop plastic tracks have been inserted on the Matterhorn course. Each driver will have to select and complete 2 out of 3 paired sets of gravity defying loops along the course or default the race.
Ron: Virginia, is it better strategy to take the first loop-de-loop or wait for the second?
Virginia: Well, if a driver by-passes the first loop-de-loop they will at least gain a temporary lead down the course, but then the pressure will be on to line-up perfectly for the final two loop-de-loops. If they miss the entry way, they are out of the race. Since loop-de-loop is a new device for ski-box racing, we will have to wait to see how each driver approaches these novel obstacles.
Ron: I can see the drivers entering the ski-boxes, Virginia. We turn it over to you for uninterrupted coverage of this first ever world championship event down the 4,000 meter course of the mountain of death, the mighty Matterhorn.
Virginia: We are ready for the start and I am joined by my co-announcer, Phil Rizzuto, the voice of the New York Yankees.
Phil: Holy cow, Virginia, what a great day for a race. Say, can I get a ballpark frank anywhere around here? The honorary grand-marshall, Prime Minster John Thompson of the Cayman Islands will bang the starting chime. You may know that the Cayman Islanders are to ski-box racing what the Jamaicans are to Olympic bobsledding.
Virginia: Yeah, not very good, but always game for a try.
Phil: The chimes are rung. As you can see at the start, putscher Mike Modugno fell on the course leaving fellow USA putscher, Steve Modugno, to push the US ski-box single-handedly. By comparison the Polish putschers, Dan Kwapniowski and Marge Kukuczka, recorded the fastest start putsch time of the entire tournament. Gadomski is off to a clear lead in the sleek Swedish Bullet Ski-box. Kit Figliozzi taking over as driver from Bob Johnson in her first race on the Matterhorn is driving the upper slopes with great daring-do. Kit is entering the first loop-de-loop while Gadomski is by-passing and continues to accelerate. Holy Cow, Kit is literally upside down in the ski-box at the top of the loop, but she comes out of the loop and seamlessly gets back on the course. Gadomski has entered the second loop-de-loop and this time Figliozzi bypasses. As Gadomski comes out of her loopy loop, Figliozzi has taken a small lead. We are now approaching the hairpin curve known as the Swiss Cheezer Grater and both drivers are in clear. Gadomski takes a great chance staying low through the turn and takes a 5 thousands of a second lead at the time check out of the curve. Holy Cow, what a race. Over to you, Virginia.
Virginia: Phil, there is a single set of loop-de-loops left on the course. Both drivers have to take these loopers. Figliozzi edges ahead of the Silver Bullet. Gadomski skis across the bow of the red baron and enters the right loop-de-loop, and Figliozzi has to swerve, but recovers at the last second to enter the left loop-de-loop. She has just enough momentum to get through the overhead portion of the loop. That was close!
Phil: Gadomski has regained the lead and coming up is the most dangerous part of the course, the S-shape-curved Tunnel of Shivers. The two boxes are in the tunnel and we momentarily loose sight of them. Who will emerge first?
Virginia: It’s the USA in the lead, Phil. Only 7 thousands of a second at the final time check.
Phil: Amaaaaaaazing! The drivers are approaching the Bump-Jump where each box will go up a ski jump-like hill and fly toward the finish. Kit Figliozzi takes the jump, but Gadomski takes big air and sails over the top of Kit. Oh, Gadomski did not land clean though. That opened the door for Kit and the two sleds are ski-tip to ski-tip. OOOOh, there is a bump from Gadomski, and Figliozzi answers with a hard bump back to the broadside of the Silver Bullet. Only 100 meters to the finish line. Hoooollllllyyyyy Cooooow! This is close. King Rex Oliff of Sweden is jumping up and down in the Royal Box Here they come, here comes Kit, here comes Marilyn, and the winner is ------ too close to call.
Virginia: Dear Lord, this is going to require an electronically timed photo to call the winner. Back to you in Atlanta, Linda Louise, while we wait for the judges to examine the finish photo.
Ron: Amazing. I felt I like I was right there with you, Virginia. Ms. Ortiz by the way is the two time ski-box champion of South American, now retired from racing. And now a word from a new sponsor.
James MacIssac: Hi folks, this is Jimmy Mac from Giant Felix Chevrolet in downtown Los Angeles. Hope you enjoyed our coverage of the ski-box races. If you want to drive fast like those folks going down the Matterhorn, let me put you in a brand new Chevy. We have no down payments if you come on the lot and say the word of the day. The word of the day is Matterhorn. And as an extra bonus, every car sold comes with two cases of Marty Molidor’s Super-duper Sock-it-to-me Sockerooni sauce. Come on down. I want to make you a deal. Just look for the sign of the giant cat at the corner of Jefferson and Figueroa.

Please tell me you didn't buy from Cal Worthington Dodge instead of from Felix.

Louise: Before we go back to the Matterhorn for the results of the race. We have a Severe Weather Alert from Hawaii. We go to Big Island correspondent, Marsha Mankiller Haney.
Marsha: I hope you can hear me, Louise, over the howling 112 mph winds that represent of the leading edge of Hurricane Flossie as it bears down on the Big Island. I am at the Bay Front on Kamehameha Boulevard in downtown Hilo. Was that a surfer that just went buy. Gosh, it looked like Andy Kotnik. Anyway, there is severe flooding already and the eye of the storm is headed for Hilo. I am going to have to sign off, if I don't go hug a coconut tree I am going to be blown a-waaaaaaaaay.
Lousie: Stay safe Marsha. And now back to Virginia Ortiz at the Ski-box championships.
Virginia: I am here with head coach of the USA team, Robert Johnson. Bob, do you think Kit won that race?
Bob: I honestly don't know, Virginia. Like everyone else, I am waiting for the photo interpretation by the judges. But I want to say, whatever the results, Kit Figliozzi drove like a champion today.
Virginia: Yes, she was brilliant, but so was Gadomski. Bob, two days ago you drove the Red Baron for the USA in the semifinals and won against Nepal. And the next day you resigned as the driver and were named to head coach. Wasn't that a risky move to make just before the final race? I have to ask Bob, did you lose your nerve?
Bob: No, Virginia. I resigned because I wanted the best USA driver on the course today. Kit has proven in practice and time trials that she was our best driver. So I moved aside to give the team the best shot it would have to win a championship.
Virginia: Well, thanks for your candid comments. I am sure you would like to be back with the team for the announcement of the winner. Good luck, Bob.
Louise: Any sign we will have a result soon, Virginia?
Virginia: Hold on Linda, there is an announcement coming now. I will hold the mike up so you should be able to hear.
PA Annoucer, Judith Ann Montoya: Madames et Monsiours. The winner of the 1st International Ski-Box Federation Championship from the Matterhorn is ----------
Sweden—Poland Coalition ----- long pause -------
and the USA. The judges have declared a dead heat and co-champions for the 2007 finals. Congratulations to both teams.

Lost and Existing Icons of Los Angeles:
Frank’s Picks for LA Icon of the 20th Century Contest.

1.

The 60 foot high Pink Lady was painted in 1966 above this tunnel on Malibu Canyon Road. Do you remember it? It was sandblasted off a few days later at the order of county official who feared it was a road distraction and might cause crashes.

2.

The Van Nuys Drive-In.
I remember having my first illegal six-pack of Hamm’s at this drive-in
with Art Fonseca in 1966. I don’t remember the movie that was playing.

3.

This one speaks for itself.

4.

and

Bob’s #6 at 4211 W. Riverside Dr in Burbank is the oldest surviving Bob’s Big Boy
and built in 1949 according to my web searches.

Any doubt this one gets Mary Ganssle Johnson’s and Danny McMahon’s vote?

5.

8218 Sunset Blvd statue of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Is that a crack in Bullwinkles T-shirt. Gazooks!
I bet Boris Gudenoff and Natasha did that!


6.

Felix Sign at Jefferson and Figueroa.
Sadly demolished in 2006.

7.

(Editor's late addition: the ubiquitous Randy's Big Donut - My personal favorite until "doughnuts" were removed from my middle-age diet)

Ok, Alemany Class of 1966,
vote for one of the above Seven Icons before August 31, 2007. Please enclose a short essay (250 words or less) on why you feel your selected icon should win. We might consider write-in icon candidates if you include a photo.
Send your Vote and Essay to bonafrank@yahoo.com

The best essay will be published in the final part of the final volume of The Shadow
and wins a portrait shooting by renowned photo-journalist,
Bob Johnson,
at the next Alemany Reunion.

Coming Sooner or Later…..the final part of the final volume of the Shadow Sagas.

Find out if the SS Pterodactyl Reunion Cruise is a success.

Learn if Madame Zazza correctly saw disaster for the Cretaceous time travelers. Maybe we will even learn the real identity of Madame Zazza.

Will the Cisco Kid, Tom Marsh, and Liz Healy save the day for Chris Gilmore perched on the pterodactyl nest while loads of lava are spewing forth from Mt Doom?????

The Shadow Knows!

Alemany was my first high school. I attended during my freshman and sophomore year. I left in my junior year and went to a public school: Reseda High. I was very unhappy not having any way to meet "boys" at Alemany. It’s too bad the school didn’t arrange for boys and girls to have a couple classes together, otherwise I would have stayed at Alemany.


I actually met the fella I married during graduation practice at Reseda High. Jim and I have been married for 38 Years now. We have two grown children Karri (37 yrs) and Kirk (35 yrs). Karri has two kids of her own, Chloe (12 yrs) and Tyler (8 yrs). Kirk hasn't married and is presently attending school learning Design, AutoCAD, and all the related computer stuff.

Jim and I lived in Reseda, Calif. for 9 years after we got married. Then we moved to Eagle Point, Oregon in 1978. We built a house, which we are still adding onto. We have had fixer-up homes through the years that have all been good investments. We have a rental at present that I manage.

Jim and I own a business called Protec Security and Communications Systems, Inc. He is the tech man and does all the bids, etc. I have done the networking in the community, and have done much research on the economy, as well as, the State and Local views on Technology. I was the vice president (for 3 years) of an organization called SOTTC (So. Or. Telecommunication and Technology Council). I also have been on the Regional Investment Board (3 years) for Southern Oregon. We decided policy and chose who received grants for their businesses or for public development.


Early on when I was in my 30's, I worked as a Realtor. I liked it and was good at it; I stopped though, because my small kids (8 yrs & 10 yrs) needed more attention.

When Karri was 12, I returned to school and got a Bachelor's Degree in Communication (1990), and then again for a Masters Degree in Social Science (1994).
I had a private Counseling Practice for 3 years after that. My specialty was Decision Making, Communication, and Cognitive Therapy. It was hard.... quite depressing, so I quit and started to do volunteer work in the community. I was on the "Jackson County Commission for Children and Families" for 5 years. We decided what services received grants, and determined policy for Southern Oregon concerning Health & Human Services and concerning the Justice System.

One of the most interesting things I did was a different but related endeavor. I put together Community Forums and Public TV shows called "County 101." During this period I was part of the Commission for Children and Families, as well as part of the League of Women Voters. I created the "County 101" project and worked on the Forums and the Talk Shows for a year. As a consequence of this work a bond was ultimately passed to build a new Juvenal Center (badly needed). The outcome has been very positive for the Juvenile Justice and the Adult Justice Services. They now look at the relationships between these two levels to create better family outcomes.

This year is reunion year for both Alemany and Reseda High. It will be fun to reminisce. Sherry (Evanson) and Lynn (Carter) were good friends for my two years at Alemany. I can't say that I ever met anyone more like me through the years than Sherry. Certainly we shared the Catholic upbringing. That did shape my worldview, and my interest in working for a healthy community and the kind of opportunities that enable people to become the best they can be. I guess I think that we should help to create a good and successful community filled with moral caring and productive people.

That's the quick summary of my life. I'm glad you asked about my life, because I had been wondering what I would tell people at the reunion about what I became! The answer is "a Little Bit of This & a Little Bit of That!"

Currently, I have been regrouping, taking time to take care of myself. It's time to squeeze more fun into my life.... you know what I mean? So I'm not doing any heavy duty thinking this year. It would be nice to catch up with friends, both old ones and new ones!

Best Wishes,

Trudy (Barela) Bridgers
Eagle Point, Oregon

(Ed Note: With our apologies to Trudy, in the vast morass of pictures and bios, this bio (which was intended for the 40th Reunion Book) was inadvertently omitted. We belatedly have corrected our oversight.)

I've wanted to be able to speak Spanish since I moved to Arizona 29 years ago. Raising a family and working full time pushed that down on the priority list. My husband learned Spanish as a Peace Corps volunteer in 1970 and has continued to use it daily, and both our sons speak Spanish after completing minors in it at the University of Arizona and spending time in Central and South America. We have a lot of friends and business acquaintances who are bilingual and it felt like I was the only one who didn't speak Spanish. In August 2005 I was able to start taking Spanish classes at the community college and after four semesters I felt confident enough to participate in a Spanish immersion program. So, it was “Off to Guatemala and Antigua”. I still have a long way to go, but it's been a great experience.

Cobblestone streets of Antigua

Kathleen at a sidewalk market in Santiago Sacatepéquez

Guatemala was a tremendous place to visit and to work on improving my Spanish skills. I went to Antigua, less than an hour’s drive from the capital, from June 9-30, and enjoyed every minute of the beautiful historic sites and environment. There are about 70 language schools, mostly small, in Antigua, and so there are students of all ages in the city. Residents and shop owners will respond in Spanish, even though those who deal with tourists speak some English. My class, and most students do this, was one-on-one for 25 hours a week with a teacher who is not university educated but has training and experience. I attended Probigua, a non-profit school which uses all proceeds above its costs to fund and expand libraries in rural schools and communities. I lived with a family of Antigua residents and was very comfortable. We spoke Spanish all the time although my Spanish is similar to that of a three-year-old. I had time for sightseeing and traveled to Lake Atitlán about two hours north with four women from Indianapolis and one from Seattle who I met at school. Jude Hawkes and Frank Bonaccorso replied to an email from me that was posted to this site a few months ago with encouragement and a lot of helpful advice. I recommend that anyone traveling outside of the U.S. buy one or more guidebooks a few months in advance. For Guatemala, there is an on-line forum called Thorn Tree hosted by the Lonely Planet guidebook company that has information and where questions are answered. I liked the trip so much I want to return next year, and June is a good time to escape from the heat of Southern Arizona.

Kathleen and friend at Mixco Viejo ruins

Volcano Agua south of Antigua

(Ed. Note: All photos courtesy of Kathleen Bell Vandervoet)

Kathleen Bell Vandervoet
Tubac, Arizona

The Final Volume [24]
Part A.
The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As Revealed by The Shadow
with minor assistance from
F.J. Bonaccorso and
Photoshop by R. M. Johnson

Volume Subtitle: The Barnstorming Aviatrix and the Great Stone Face

Special Dedication:
From "Under the Boardwalk" to "Up on the Roof",
This Bud's for you, Bill Pinkney.

Associated Press Photo
Bill Pinkney, Last Surviving, Original Drifter, Dead at 81

Pinkney died of natural causes in his hotel room in Daytona Beach, Florida, shortly before he was to give a 4th of July performance.


Testing. Testing. Testing.

Television Icons of our Times: From The Indian Head to The Peacock

The most famous American B&W test pattern is the "Indian Head" monoscope pattern. This pattern was originated by RCA in 1939 and was watched by us as toddlers in 1950 and later as we listened to static and waited for a TV broadcasting day to start. Bring back any memories? This may be one of the earliest images I can remember in my life.


The NBC Peacock, an icon of color TV originated in 1956

NBC pioneered color because it was owned by RCA,
the manufacturers of the first color TV's

Now back to our shadowy story---

Tehachipi, California
Lester Dunkin: Hello, Monique, this is Lester Dunkin.
Monique Lussier Padberg: Hi, Lester, we are looking forward to seeing you soon on the reunion cruise.
Lester: Yes, that is while I called. I urgently need to add a booking for a special guest.
Monique: You are lucky, there is one cabin left. Shall I book it for you?
Lester: Yes, just book it in my name, I will send you the payment.

Hotel Conference Room, Zermatt, Switzerland
The entire Johnson and Johnson Ski Box Racing Team is present for a meeting after the victory in the morning semifinal race against the Nepalese.
Mary Ganssle Johnson: This meeting will come to order. Bob Johnson has requested the floor to make an announcement.
Bob Johnson: I will come right to the point. I lucked out against the Nepalese. We need to put our best driver on the line for the Finals against the Sweden-Poland Consortium team.
Frankie DePasquale: But you are the best driver in the world. Bob, you already beat the World #1 ranked Tuk Tinbuk and the Nepalese are history?
Bob: Tuk had a huge lead on me. If he had not been so vain as to have his brake dismantled, he would not have gone off course on the last hairpin curve and lost so much time. But he clearly outraced me up until that point.
Joe Dispenza: That is exactly why you are the best driver in the world, Bob. Tuk showed bad judgment and pushed his box to the point it could not perform. A great driver knows what his box can do down to the millisecond.
Bob: More reason why we should put our best driver in the final race.
Lenny DiTrappani: What are trying to say, Bob?
Bob: That the best driver in the world is on Team USA, only she has not raced in this tournament yet?
Everyone: Huh? What? Explain yourself.
Bob: The best driver in the world is our team Chef, Kit Figliozzi. We have all watched her drive the box in test runs and time trials when I needed rest. Your eyes have seen it, but your minds have not admitted it. Kit is our best driver.
All eyes in the room turn to the back of the room and onto Kit. There is stone silence.
Kit: You want me to drive with only two hours notice before the final?
Steve Modugno: Bobby is a great driver, Kit, but he is right. You are the best driver in the world. We have all seen how great you drive in our test runs. It would give us just that little bit of a greater chance to win against Gadomski. After all she is very, very good. And the Swedish Box although using some different style lines than we employ is also very good. (More silence).
Mike Modugno: We want you driving, Kit.
Mary: Will you do it for the team? Will you do it for the USA, Kit?
Kit: (Stands up, looks around the room). I will drive on one condition.
Mary: Name it.
Kit: Mary, I want you to appoint Robert Johnson, Head Coach of Team USA and announce it on Wild World of Sports before the race.
Mary: What a brilliant idea. Bob will you accept the position of Head Coach.
Bob: (Purses his lips, looks around the room.) Yes.

ABC News, New York, New York
Good evening, this is Bernard VanVlymen, and this is the news.

In the grand finale in Torino, Italy, Ponche Covarrubias and Christina Aguilera were crowned 2007 champions of Dancing with the Stars. The couple dressed in matching gangster black suits, grey shirts, and black ties. They mesmerized televison audiences the world over with a powerful Slam Dance to the music, Apache, by Jango Reinhardt. A large screen TV inside the gymnasium on the campus of Bishop Alemany High School in Mission Hills, California, was watched by a standing room only crowd of Alemany students past and present. At the awards ceremony, Ponche, was seen favoring his right shoulder and offered his left hand when congratulated by host Murray Suarez. Ponche was later seen celebrating in Torino nightspots with his right arm in sling. It is believed that Ponche may have suffered a dislocated shoulder when slammed powerfully into a wall by Christina just before the conclusion of their performance.

Also in Torino, the final round of the Ryder Cup was played today. We go to ABC correspondent, John Salhoff.
John: Bernie, everything you could have imagined happened in a day of extraordinary golf. On the first tee, Sir Guy Proto hit a European blackbird in flight and feathers flew as the bird dropped to the middle of the fairway. At the thirteenth tee, Bill Merriken punched out Tiger Woods lights with a ricocheting drive that rebounded from a mighty ancient oak. Tiger was finished, but was replaced by team alternate and recent winner of the Masters, Ken Meddock. How fortunate for the American team that Captain Jay Pelzer designated Meddock as the alternate. Meddock eagled the 13th and seemed to inspire his team. Then lightning struck twice as both Jay Pelzer and Bob Lendzion lofted back-to-back holes-in-one on the 14th to bring the USA into a tie with the Europeans. The Americans led by one stroke after 17 holes. With the pressure of all of Europe on his shoulders, Sir John Preble sank a 38 foot putt on the 18th hole to tie the score and force a sudden death play-off.
The American's chose the hot shooting Meddock to represent them in the "death" round and the Euros selected Preble. Meddock parred the first play-off hole. On the green with an 18 foot put needed to tie, Sir John calmly lined up his putt. The putt was true, however, only one foot from the cup, a giant water bug landed in the path of Sir John’s ball. The Hemipteran, or true bug, deflected the ball ever so slightly that it ringed the mouth of the cup and spun out.

Jay Pelzer handles the Giant Water Bug that
decided the outcome of The Ryder Cup

The Europeans could not believe what nature had wrought. Preble was later heard to ask, "Are you sure it wasn’t a stink bug because this smells rotten". Act of God, act of nature, or just horrible luck. The USA men were crowned champions of the 2007 Ryder Cup. That is it from Torino, Bernie.

Bernie: Amazing, John. I bet that finish still really bugs Sir John Preble. I am hearing in my earpiece that we have a Special News Alert from Washington, D.C. We are going to White House Reporter, Rita Heyn Campbell.
Rita: Bernie, the White House press corps has been told that the President will make an announcement of "significant importance" momentarily. We have no idea what the President will say. The President's press secretary, Barbara Holtby Spain is coming before the microphones. Let's listen.
Barbara: Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States.
President Judith Hawkes: My fellow Americans, I bid you good evening. I have been asked thousands of times over the past few months when I would declare my intention to run for a second term for the office of president. That is the subject matter of tonight's announcement. I feel the accomplishments we have made in the last four years have been significant. North Korea and Iran have closed their nuclear programs. There is a stable government in a peaceful Iraq. Our economy has grown in double digits while inflation has remained manageable. We have a national health insurance program to cover every American citizen. Osama Bin Laden received his just desserts and lies buried in the desert sands. We are a nation at peace once again. After lengthy discussion with my family, my advisors, and a great deal of soul searching, I have made my decision. I have decided not to seek a second term. (The Washington press corps and the television viewers are stunned; then there are sighs, whispers, and a growing din of conversation. President Hawkes signals for silence). I feel I have earned a rest. I believe I have enough memoirs to write. I now want to have the Vice President speak.

Vice President Robert Guerrero: Thank you, Madame President. Good evening. There is not a doubt in my mind that President Hawkes will be judged by history as one of the greatest President's ever to serve our nation. I for one think that there should be a new face carved on Mt. Rushmore.

It has been a pleasure to serve as the Vice President under this President. I would happily serve another term in the same office, if the President would be persuaded to change her mind.
Jude: No chance of that happening, Bob.
Bob: In that case, I announce my intention to run for President of the United States. (Camera’s flash and reporters run for the doors to file reports).
Bernie VanVlymen: Stunning news from Washington. It will be interesting to hear the response of the opposition party tomorrow at this news that the most popular President in the history of America is stepping down after only one term. I am Bernard VanVlymen. And that is the news. Good night.

Chalkstone Cliffs, 65 million years ago.
Kathy Gordon: (speaking on walkie talkie). The entire climbing team has reached the summit. Chris (Gilmore) is preparing to approach the ptero nest.
Frank Bonaccorso: We copy, Kathy. Keep us informed, we are standing by.
Kathy: Roger that.

San Pedro Harbor, California
Claudia Haugh Stepan: Over here, girls, over here.
Paula Huebner McHale: Hello, Claudia. You are looking marvelous. It's so exciting to be here.
Monique Lussier Padberg: Can you believe the cruise is tomorrow?
Pamela Mertens Gunn: And it’s a special treat to be invited onboard the night before the cruise. We can have our own little reunion pajama party!
Penny Mertens LaPreziosa: Let's not get too overwhelmed, ladies. We do have a lot of work to get everything ready for tomorrow. Oh, look there is the Captain up there on the bridge. Isn't he dashing! He's waving.
Captain Arthur Durazo: (Shouting from the bridge). Come aboard. I have been expecting you.
Monique: Not everybody is here yet.
Claudia: Well, I guess they will find us when they arrive. Let's go aboard.
(The ladies walk up the gangplank and are greeted).
Chief Purser George Duggan: Welcome aboard the SS Pterodactyl.
Paula: George, you look so handsome in uniform.
George: Why thank you, Paula. Just leave your bags where they are. I will have someone place them in your rooms. This way please, the captain will see you on the bridge.
Suddenly, the group is buzzed by two figures suspended under gossamer sails --- whoosh, swish. George and the girls have to hit the deck quickly. The two hang-gliders circle the SS Pterodactyl and come to light on the fantail deck. Goggles and helmets come off the two mystery party-crashers.
One of the hang-gliders waves and shouts: Hello, it's me, Kathy (Lance Jones). And it's me too, Kathy (Krebs Marston). We are not late, are we?
George: Now, that is an entrance!
Penny: That only leaves Margie, Jane, and Lorie among the missing members of the Organizing Comm..... (her words are drowned out by engine noise). A rickety, ancient biplane dives over the fantail, then disappears below the stern. Cries of "Oh my" and "Yikes" and "Shit" are heard from the Organizing Committee, some of whom are lying flat on the fantail for the second time this afternoon. The biplane rises and circles. There is a figure walking the top wing and holding a streaming banner that reads, "Alemany 66 Rules". The girls look at each other.


Pam: Who can that be? (The plane rises further, and then someone jumps out of the plane. A parachute opens and the figure descends. In moments the chutist lands on the fantail. Once again, goggles and helmet are removed.
Paula: Get outta here! That’s Lorie.
Lorie Dudzik: Sorry, I'm late. You just can't depend on the airlines to be on time anymore.
Claudia: Better late then never. You are amazing. Who else is up there?
The biplane banks steeply. George notices that the landing gear are pontoons. The plane approaches from alongside the stern of the Pterodactyl and bounces three times on the water as it comes to a floating glide alongside the ocean liner. A mooring line is thrown from the plane to a deckhand and the plane is pulled along side. The wing-walker jumps onto a landing gangway and runs up toward the deck.
Margie Espinosa Nelson: Hi! That was a rush! Did you recognize me?

Margie Espinosa strutting her stuff!

Penny: I would never have guessed! When did you take up wing-walking?
Margie: Oh, Jane and I have been barnstorming at air shows for nearly four years now.
Paula: Jane?
Now the aircraft pilot runs up the gangway.
Jane Marie Lind Gerakin: That would be me. Hello everyone.
Everyone: Hello, Jane.

George: Ahem, the captain is waiting. Ladies, this way, please. (But yet again, George is interrupted by loud noise and waves crashing against the ship. Two people on jet-skis circle the ship. One skier approaches the fantail surface landing platform at high speed and dismounts with a double forward flip through the air onto the landing and sticks a perfect landing that would make an Olympic gymnast envious. And she bows to the observing group up on the fantail. The other skier comes to an abrupt halt beside the landing platform, hops to the decking, and joins her colleague. They tie up the two jet-skies and run up the gangway steps. Up on the fantail, goggles come off the unknown duo.
Susan Giacomini Borquez-Dougherty: Well, you didn’t think you could have a night before the cruise party without us. Did you?
Kathy Hamilton Lovick: Surprise! We thought we could help get things organized.
Monique: This is a surprise. The more the merrier. Let's go see Captain Durazo.


Good Morning America Show, New York, New York
Lenore Fusano: Well, hope you all enjoyed watching, Ted "The Astounding Juggler" Garcia. He is the only person alive who can juggle 17 objects simultaneously. (Big applause).
Chris Fusano: Teddy, is astounding and so was yesterday’s news conference in which President Hawkes announced she would not run for a second term. Vice President Garcia suggested that Jude Hawkes deserves to be chiseled on Mt. Rushmore. Well, a Committee for the Renovation of Rushmore has been founded by Mary Jo Wesselhoff Newkirk and Alphonse Vitale. The Committee is releasing an artistic rendition created by famed American sculptor Seymour Rosen of the new Mt. Rushmore. And we are unveiling that design to the American public right now.
Lenore: Wow. You guys didn't tell me this was happening. This is exciting. Well, can we see the design.
Chris: And here it is.
Lenore: Absolutely breath-taking. That is why Rosen is known as "The Rodin of the Modern Era". Jude's smile is so lifelike.

Los Angeles, California
A pair of hands cup a glowing crystal ball.
Madame Zazza: Oh, dear! This does not look good!!!!!!! Tom, come here quickly, we have an emergency.

Moments later on the phone:
Tom Marshmellow Man Marsh: Yo, Liz, this Tom. We have a Superhero Alert. Going to need you, pronto.
Liz Wingfoot Healy: Gee, Tom. I'm kind of busy. The raspberry crop is ripe and needs picking, and the kids are coming for a visit tomorrow. Is this important?
Tom: Zazza sees a coming disaster in her crystal ball for the Alemany group that took that time trip back to the Cretaceous. Zazz says if we don’t get there quick, some of them are not going to make it.
Liz: Well jiminy crickets, why didn't you say so. I am on my way to pick you up. What about the Black Magister? Should we call him in?
Tom: No time to get Spud Spadero. He is up north in the Idaho Potato Skins Poker Festival. Hey, but The Cisco Kid is a friend of mine and I know he is in town. Why he is a superhero of some importance. We can take him with us in place of Spud.
Liz: Ok. Get into those silly red and blue tights you wear. See yah soon.

Hey Cisco, what do we do with this hombre?
Hey Pancho, it’s no hombre, it's The Shadow. Tom Marsh sent him with a message. Tom is going to need us in his posse. Something big is happening down in old Cretaceous Texas.
Ok, Cisco. Let's go, Kid.

There goes Margie and Jane again.
You just can't keep those ladies on the ground for long.

Photo by F. J. Bonaccorso

My new friend from Namibia,
Gerard Giraffe,
says
"Until next time, here's looking at yah, Alemany."

The Final Volume, Part B
Coming Soon
Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel