STRIDES FOR LIFE AUCTION

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Please Consider donating an item to the Auction.

(Crafts, Products, Services, Memorabilia are all welcome)

Current Auction Items

1.

Exquisite Jewelry

Item Donated by: Doni Swenson

Description: "Pretty in pink and delicious in caramel...The central polished nugget of golden agate looks good enough to eat! Clear lampwork beads gleam like copper stardust and flash shades of pink. And faceted pink strawberry quartz dance along the length of this necklace, contributing their flash and gleam to the overall look. The caramel color of the 8mm camel colored quartz beads echo the tones in the large agate. 4mm cultured pearls of a lustrous coppery pink complete the piece, which is finished with the swirl of an elegant sterling silver toggle clasp.Golden agate reputedly amplifies many desirable qualities. It is said to increase your happiness and intelligence, as well as enhance your eloquence. Doni will package and ship the necklace to the winner.

Retail Value: $180.00
Number of Bids: 5
Current Bid: $150.00
Highest Bidder (4-22-2008): Mary (Hawthorne) Maas

2.

Industry Hills Golfing Foursome

The Eisenhower Course

The Babe Zaharias Course

Item Donated by: Jay Pelzer
Description: A foursome of golfing at one of the highest rated golf courses in America, Industry Hills. You may bid on the entire foursome, or one or more spots in the group.
Retail Value: up to $400.00

Number of Bids: 2

Current Bid: $250.00

Highest Bidder (4-22-2008): Margaret Wurster (on behalf of her boss at Culver City Volvo)

3.

Lunch for Two at the Sunset Towers, The Terrace

STAR PATRONS: Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Biel, Nicole Kidman, Renee Zellweger, Russell Crowe and Kirsten Dunst, (says InStyle Magazine) along with graduates of Alemany ’66 are found dining at the fabulous Terrace poolside at Jeff Klein’s Sunset Tower Hotel on the Sunset Strip.
Now you can dine in style and benefit classmate Larry Cappel’s Strides for Life by bidding on a gift certificate valued at $200 for lunch for two at the Terrace. Owner, Jeff Klein, generously donated this certificate for the Monarch campaign to raise funds for Strides for Life.
From the LA Times: It doesn't get much more L.A. than this casual poolside spot in the Sunset Tower Hotel, that Deco beauty on the strip. Chef Dakota Weiss' menu features big salads, such as a lobster Cobb, as well as steak frites. And you can't beat the view. That alone is worth the price of admission.
From la.com: Past the execs and celebs inside Sunset Tower Hotel is a peaceful poolside lounge, The Terrace, with fantastic small plates and a view only possible on the strip.
…Offerings include grilled foccaccias (with pecorino and shaved fennel, perhaps, or brie, heirloom tomatoes and bacon) seafood options (oysters, shrimp cocktail) and classy riffs on American fare, often with French and Italian influences. Fingerling potato skins arrive with serrano ham, rich Saint Andre cheese and white truffle oil; steak tartare has brioche toast points. (Open all day, The Terrace also serves a mimosa-friendly brunch.) With the help of a cocktail or two, it's easy to let time slip away, especially on a warm evening with nowhere else to go: Behind the small pool's glass wall, Los Angeles gleams after sundown. —Lonny Pugh

8358 Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90069 323-654-7100

http://www.sunsettowerhotel.com/

Item donated by: Charmaine (Haley) Coimbra

Retail Value: $200.00

Number of Bids: 3
Current Bid: $175.00

Highest Bidder (4-22-2008): Christi (Brecht) Moore

4.

Ultimate Photo Fantasy

Ever dreamed of being center stage at Carnegie Hall or the Kodak Theater for the American Idol finals, batting cleanup for the Boston Red Sox, or scoring the winning touchdown in Super Bowl XXXX, cavorting with untamed beasts in the wilds of Africa or kicking up your heels in the Oval Office(no, they are not the same)? Well now you can. All you have to do is send your favorite photo to Dan (The Man) McMahon and Bob (The Apprentice) Johnson, along with your perfect fantasy. (CAUTION: Your fantasy must be G, PG or R-rated on the MPAA scale, since we run a family website). We will then magically transform you into your dream persona. When the photo magic is complete, you will receive an 8X10 glossy photo of your fantasy for all your family and friends to admire AND the photo will be published on our photo website, FLICKR.com.

Item Donated by: Mac and Beej

Retail value: Priceless
Opening Bid: Whatever you can afford (We will accommodate as many successful bidders as we can, with the highest bidder receiving first priority)
Number of Bids: N/A

Current Bid: -0-

Highest Bidder (to date): N/A

Get your Southwestern look perfect with these silver and turquoise pieces of jewelry. Bolo ties are great for both men and women. Good Luck. Charmaine

5.

Sterling Silver Kokopelli Bolo Tie.

Item Donated by Char (Haley) Coimbra

Retail Value $85.

Current Bid: N/A

Highest Bidder (to date): N/A

6.

Hopi Bolo Tie. Sterling Silver, inlayed onyx, muscle shell, turquoise and coral.

Retail Value $110

Item Donated by: Char (Haley) Coimbra

Current Bid: N/A

Highest Bidder (to date): N/A

7.

Sterling Silver and Turquoise Pierced Ear Rings. 1.5" Long.

Retail Value $50.

Item Donated by: Char (Haley) Coimbra

Current Bid: N/A

Highest Bidder (to date): N/A

8.

26" Turquoise Nugget and Silver Necklace. Santa Domingo Pueblo made.

Retail Value: $120

Item Donated by: Char (Haley) Coimbra

Current Bid: $60.00

Highest Bidder: Terry Mock (4-24-08)

Volume 30
The FINAL Saga of Alemany ’66:
As Revealed by The Shadow
with minor assistance from
F.J. Bonaccorso and
Photo Wizards R. M. Johnson and D. P. McMahon

Special Dedication:
To the 24 Alemany Angels from the Class of 1966
We miss you one and all

Subtitle: Garlic-powdered Kryptonite

Congratulations to Leo Restrich
The sole Alemanian to win two Shadow Triva Contests
Leo wins the Johnny Walker Red Collectors Edition*
*Lapel Pin

On the Way to the Phone Booth on Deck Three
Coach Mike King leaped the stairs three at a time down from the bridge. He hurdled loungers on the main deck, zigged and zagged around barking dogs and a llama on the Poop Deck, stepped in some dog poop, and then bounded up the three flights of stairs to Deck Three.
Sister William Joseph: Good morning, Mr. King.
Coach: Comes to a screaming halt burning rubber on his Converse tennis shoes, tipped his hat and said, “Good morning Sister William Joseph and Sister Mary Juanita”. (He walks three steps past them and then accelerates into a sprint).
Sister Mary Juanita: My, that man sure has energy for someone his age. (The good sister slipped a small bottle of Geritol from her habit and took a deep drink). I find that this keeps my energy up. Geritol, Sister?
Sister William Joseph: Maybe just a little nip. Ahh, that’s good, but here try a little of my tonic. My former student, Tom Marsh gave me this for my tired blood.
Sister Mary Juanita: “What is this?” She reads the label out loud, “Hayes Healing Honey Compound, Paris Medicine Company, St. Louis. Then she read the side panel, “Contains wild bee honey, balm of gilead buds, grindelia robusta, chloroform, white pine, glycerin, terpin hydrate, wild cherry bark, horehound, extract of Hycosyamus, benzoic acid, gum camphor, oil anise, and 7% alcohol. Sister MJ takes off the cap, takes a chug, her body shakes and she coughs. There is a pause, “My, that has a kick! Anything with horehound has gotta be good for you. Do you think Mr. Marsh can get me a bottle?”


At the Phone Booth
(If this were a musical you would be hearing the theme song from “Carwash” with the lyrics change to “at the phone booth”)
Coach King looks around, no one is nearby. He opens the folding door and steps into the booth. It does not take long for him to strip off his outer cloths revealing a red and blue suit of body tights with a big red “S” on the chest.

SuperCoach emerges in full regalia from the phone booth

Flying overhead along Deck 3 are two Alemany Angels:
Susan Bolduc: Holy Moses, did you know that Coach King was Superman?
Tom Walker: You didn’t know that, Sue?
Sue: Well, I only got my wings recently.
Tom: Yeah, yeah, angel apprentice school is a #$*^+@.
Sue: Tom, don’t let Father Gottenbos hear you say that. He runs a very strict apprentice program. C’mon, let’s follow Coach, er, I mean SuperCoach and see what he is up to.

Aileen Bruno on the bridge of her flagship the SS Pterodactyl

Bridge, SS Pterodactyl
Art Durazo: (Speaking over loudspeaker). This is the Captain speaking. I am on the bridge with Garnet & Grey Cruise Lines owner, Aileen Bruno. All passengers and crew are ordered indoors immediately. Life jackets must be worn. The crew will secure all watertight doors. The tsunami is approaching and will strike in approximately 6 minutes. Aileen: (Takes the intercom). We will get through this. Please help by following all of Captain Durazo’s orders. May God be with us!

Cabin 488 overlooking Poop Deck
Coach King knocks on Tom Marsh’s cabin door. There is no answer. He knocks again. Still there is no answer. He jumps into the air and with red cape trailing in the breeze, flies to the porthole of cabin 488. While hovering, he peers through the window to see that Marsh is praying to the porcelain god, or perhaps taking notes on the Coriolis force after a flush. Coach looks at his watch. Only three minutes until the tsunami will doom all aboard the Pterodactyl. He flies to the cabin door and smashes through it.
Tom: Hey what gives? (Tom’s jaw drops to his chest at the shock of seeing Coach King in red and blue tights? First he laughs and then he pukes again).
SuperCoach: Marsh, pull yourself together. Please don’t tell me you have ciguatera poisoning. I need the services of MarshMellow Man immediately or this ship is going down.
Tom: Naw, Coach. Just too many s’mores mixed with a few vodkas last night.
SuperCoach. (He removes a vial of an off-white powder from his belt, sees a box of graham crackers, takes one cracker from the box, and sprinkles some of the powder on the cracker.) “Eat this, Tom”.
Tom: What is this?
SuperCoach: Garlic-flavored kryptonite powder. It will do wonders for your strength and you are going to need it to carry out my plan.
Tom: Sniffs the cracker, and then bites into it.
SuperCoach: Tom, we are running out of time. Eat faster.
(Tom finishes the cracker and Coach leads him out the cabin door.)
Tom: “Wait, there is something I must do first, or my power will not be activated even with the kryptonite. He opens a chest drawer and pulls out a cellophane package of marshmallows. Then he reaches for a bottle on top of the chest and pours a dark liquid over the marshmallow.
SuperCoach: What is that stuff?
Tom: Geritol over a marshmallow gives me my superhero power. He is still chewing the concoction when Coach pulls him out the door.
SuperKing: Jump up on my shoulders. (A strong wind is felt and the surrounding seas are rough. SuperCoach and Marshmellow Man are up in the air and gaining altitude.)

Bridge, SS Pterodactyl
George Duggan: Holy shit. Look at that wave! It must be 240 ft high. What can we do?
Aileen: Place your faith in your Captain and in God, Mr. Duggan.
Art Durazo: Mr. Duggan, bring the ship to a heading of 270 degrees. Engine room, give me full speed. Everyone else, pray.

Above the SS Pterodactyl
Tom Marsh: Timing is everything, Coach. I will only be able to hold the weight of the ship for a few seconds, even with your kryptonite supplement. I need to grab the ship about two seconds before the bow will be covered by the wave. Keep me over the smokestack. That is where I will grab the ship.
Coach K: No problem, Tom.
Tom: Good thing my costume is made out of asbestos or this MarshmellowMan would be toasted because that smokestack is steaming hot.

Bridge, SS Pterodactyl
Art: Hold a steady course, Mr. Duggan. We are going to find out what this ship is made of in about 20 seconds.

And the wave approached with a roar……..

Wrigley Field, Chicago
Jim Dantona: Nice visiting with you, Ernie. Here, you keep the rest of the Geritol. I have to get back to the Reunion Cruise.
Ernie Banks: Are you pulling my leg about that, that contraption being a Time Machine.
Jim: The Monarch II is capable of traveling in time millions of years forward or backward. I only came back 12 hours in history so I could give Derek Lee a few tips during the a batting practice we had scheduled. Derek was stepping in the bucket, but he seems on track now. See you after the cruise. Frank Bonaccorso will never give me a loaner again if I don’t return this crate on time.

Dantona enters the Monarch that was parked behind second base and a minute later, Mr. Ernie Banks saw only a puff of steam and heard, “Poof”, the sound of the Monarch II breaking the time barrier.

Flying above the SS Pterodactyl

Coach: Ok, now Tom.

MarshMellow Man’s arms extend and grab the smokestack of SS Pterodactyl. Water runs over the bow – but the ship lifts 20, 60, 100, 250 feet above sea level and only 10 feet above the crest of the SuperTsunami. A loud “klunk” was heard and Tom felt an impact of weight add to the ship that he is holding. This causes Tom to lose his grip on the ship. Of course you know the impact is Dantona landing Monarch II at the worst possible moment. The bad news is that the ship drops bow end first. The good news is that it drops clear of the passing wave. The bow dips below water which rises half way up the bridge and causes foamy spray to rise over the bridge windows and even over the upper deck -- and then flows off the ship’s decking like water off the back of a duck. The ship bobs like a cork three times and then steadies.

Coach: You did it, Tom!
Tom: We did it, SuperCoach.

Bridge, SS Pterodactyl
Aileen: What did you do, Captain? We are saved!
Art: What did you do, Mr. Duggan? The ship flew above the wave. Can you explain that?
George: I have no idea what happened, Cap’n. I did nothing but hold steady on course and then all that foamy water covered the windows.
Lamont: (Laughing). The Shadow Knows. Come outside and see who is flying high above. (George picks up his beloved dog, Cookie, who has piddled on one leg of the Captain’s chair, and everyone runs outside to look up into the skies).

Monarch II on Upper Deck of SS Pterodactyl:
The door to the Monarch II creaks open. Out steps Jim Dantona.

Jim: (Looking around and talking to himself). I wonder where everybody is? Mid-day and no one sunning themselves on such a beautiful day! There must have been a heavy rain recently, the deck is wet. That’s why everyone is indoors.

People and dogs are now streaming out of hatches and doors all over the ship. They go to the railing and see a humongous wave receding in the distance behind the ship. Then someone looks up and points to the flying superheros:


Jan Wherley: It’s a bird!
Michael Bateson: It’s a plane!
Annie Gattuso: No, it’s….
Lil’ Donnie Swenson: No, its….

SuperCoach circles the decks with MarshMellow Man waving to the crowd below.
Even a recovered Liz Wingfoot Healy is out on deck cheering with Spud “The Black Magister” Spadero and all the ‘66ers.
Coach sets Tom down on the deck and flies off to go have another look at the tsunami rapidly making its way to the coast of an uninhabited section of Baja.

Faster than a roaring tsunami, SuperCoach!

Any body care to make some s’mores with me? I’m starving.

Louie the Dachsund runs from Teri Arteaga and jumps into the arms of MarshMellow Man and licks his face.
Tom: Aw, cut that out Louie. I knew I could count on you to want some Smoors. Hank also jumps up on Tom. Soon a crowd of dogs are around him, curious at the man that smells of marshmallows, and garlic, and kryptonite.

The Reunion Cruise continues back north toward San Pedro without further assassination attempts, illnesses, or disastrous weather events. All the ‘66’ers enjoy camaraderie, good food, laughter, and responsible use of alcohol. MarshMellow Man was hooked on kryptonite, however, and SuperCoach made a quick flight to his home planet to stock-up for his new superhero friend.

There were a few more Alemany talent shows. Hank and Louie formed a team in which they trained their “handlers”, Charmaine and Teri, to jump through flaming hoops for treats (bites of s’mores). Frank Diaz gave a lecture on the life-cycle of the liverworts and followed that with an excellent slide show birds encountered on his travels through Peru. Mr. Diaz also taught Charmaine the calls of the Great Potoo and the Drab Water Tyrant among other bird calls. Frank Bonaccorso surprised Danny McMahon by transporting The Charlie Daniels Band to the SS Pterodactyl aboard the Monarch II and the mother of all concerts followed. Aviators, Tim Jordan and Brad Kopp, and Aviatrix, Jane Lind, kept outdoing each other with new aerial tricks on Tim’s gyrocopter, but none of them could match the stunts done by the free flying Liz Healy, Tom Marsh, and Mike King. Yes, after consuming so much kryptonite, Marsh actually soloed without Herr King.

Let us look and listen as the ‘66ers enjoy the last sunset aboard the SS Pterodactyl as the ship nears home port.

Mrs. Rose Patella: “Little Frankie Joe! I can’t believe how you have grown-up. I remember all the weekend pasta feasts your grandmother, Francis, used to host on the ranch at Devonshire and Odessa.
David Nehen: Mrs. Patella, did you ever have Grandma Streva’s chicken pastina soup?
Rose: Oh, David, that soup was to “die-for”. Francis Streva was the greatest cook the San Fernando Valley has ever known. Her ravioli in Napolitan sauce was out of this world too.
Frank Bonaccorso: Good, thing Dave never looked in the pot with the floating chicken-feet and beaks. My grandma believed in using everything that came off Grampa’s chopping block.

Barbara Smith: I can remember being heartbroken at the Sophomore Sock-hop. My dreamboat hunk kept dancing with a certain homecoming queen and he ignored me all night (Sigh!)
Sarah Vasco: Consider yourself lucky, Barb, my dreamboat hunk kept stepping on my toes and later spilt a Dr. Pepper down the front on my dress.

Tom Stratton: Did you know that the steam-powered Land Speed Record for an automobile is 127.659 mph? It was set by a Stanley Steamer in 1906?
John Sumser: So happens that I am nearly finished restoring a 1906 Stanley Steamer. Maybe we should try to break that record, Tom, after the 2009 Rose Parade. I already have had offers to drive the car in the Rose Parade. I just need to decide whether to paint it traditional jet black or candy apple red.
Mike Wilkes: Why be conservative, go with the candy apple. Do you make your own parts? I can’t imagine where you would find them?
John: I do all the tool and die wok on my own parts, Mike.
Donald Hughes: So now you build cars, John. I remember you being the guy who collapsed the roof of that old junker with one swing of a sledge hammer. What a fund-raiser that was at Alemany.
John: Yeah, that was me. It was my greatest achievement at Alemany. Along with “Big Ray Day” it was probably the most fun we ever had in high school.

Ed Brusasco: Spyder, I can still remember the thrill of victory from my first JV wrestling match in the Alemany gym. Coach showed me a trick by greasing me up with neat’s-foot oil. My opponent from Crespi could never guess how I slipped every hold he put on me.
Earnest “Spyder” Villalobos: Gee, Ed, my mom used to slick down my hair with that stuff. I hated it.
Ed: I could have won the CIF section championship, senior year; except, I had the bottle of neat’s-foot oil in my back pocket and sat on it during the bus ride to the match. Without the oil, I was pinned in the first 20 seconds of my match.

Theresa Bryen: Did I ever tell you about the time that Prince Charles took me to the races at Royal Ascot, darling?
Mary Cain: No, honey. What kind of hat did you wear?
Bonnie Timpe: Forget the hat, did the Prince kiss you?
Theresa: He couldn’t, the Queen was watching us like a hawk. But the Prince did place a bet for me and I won 3,000 pounds on a horse called “Big Ray”. Rich Coscia rode that horse to victory. Let me tell you, Rich was much better looking in his silks than Prince Charles any time.
Claudia Thompson: There is Rich now, let’s go get his autograph while he’s talking to Elvis.

Mary Ganssle Johnson (Owner of Johnson & Johnson Racing): I find that lemon Pledge is the best wax to use on the wooden parts of the Ski-Box Championship trophy. What do you use in Boston, Gyoengi?
Gyoengyi Molnar Quinn (General Manager of Boston Red Sox): Oh, the World Series trophy has no wooden parts.
Mary A. O’Malley (Minority Owner of the Chicago Cubs): I just wish we had a World Series trophy from this century in Chicago. I would polish it every day, but Jim Dantona assures me we are a lock this year.
Gyoengyi: Don’t count on it, Mary.

Sir Guy Proto: My theory, Sir John, is that if we hang out with winners, it will rub off and we shall take the Ryder Cup back to Merry England this year.
Sir John Preble: Then stay away from Mary O’Malley. Those Cubs have the curse of the goat on them. If we don’t win this year, Elizabeth may de-knight us.

King Olliff: If the Ski-Box Championship does not come to Sweden this year heads will roll.
Frankie Depasquale: I have to tell you, your highness, that Dispenza has invented a frictionless ski runner that will revolutionize the sport. And only the USA has it!
Marilyn Gadomski: And they call him King Rex Olliff The Good!

Oscar Rivera, Jr.: I was thinking of buying the Fiji Islands this year, Marty.
Martin Molidor: Which islands in Fiji, Oscar?
Oscar: All of them.

Madame Zazza: May I see your palm, Joannie?
Joan McKinney: Why sure, Madame Z. What do you see in my palm?
Madame Z: I see great wealth coming your way in Las Vegas. Bet number 22.
Wally Franklin: Have you got a tip for me Madame Z?
Madame Z: Yes, try Listerine, Wally!

Dave Surges: Yep, I remember the dog race of ’98, temperature was soooo cold…..
Ed Bertell: You ought to hear his ice-fishing stories about the giant muskelunge that was so big it took six hours to saw a hole big enough to get it out of the lake.
Paul Pichotta: See you guys up in Alaska for the Iditerod.
Ann Turner Olsen: Yeah, and we can all go crabbing together after the race. I have trained Seymour and Henrietta and their brood of little squidlings to pull the crab traps up, so there is really little work involved.

Terry Boyle Southwick: And now my editor wants to know why I don’t have super heros like The Shadow and MarshMellow Man in my books.
Charmaine Haley Coimbra: That darn Shadow Press has raised the bar too high for the rest of us writers; plus all those Hollywood writers on strike are cranking out books like no tomorrow. I think I might give up writing and open a restaurant. I happen to know a pretty good chef who just might bring all her possum and armadillo recipes.
Teri Artega Romero: I could be your pastry chef, Char. Why don’t we call the place Char’s Possum Hollow?

Diane Muscolo Bergstrom: Now, now Arnie, I know Washington has been giving you a hard time about the California clean air standards. I will talk to President Hawkes and Vice President Guerrero. We will get a favorable settlement, I’m sure.
Arnie Swartzenegger: That’s what I like about you Diane. You always see the bright side. You know how to negotiate. Where’s Teri? She said she would bake me some cookies today, I am so tired of s’mores!

Barb Broeski: So, Dr. Holmes, I was wondering if I could consult with you about a patient of mine that just is not making any progress with the therapy I have been giving him for nearly a year now.
Dr. Emory Holmes: This patient wouldn’t be Ja(Y) Pelzer, would it?
Barb: Why yes. How did you know?
Dr. Holmes: I began treating him freshman year at Alemany. Hopeless case if ever there was one. Today, as soon as we neared San Pedro harbor, he started chanting, “It’s not over”, “It’s not over.”

Pete Herron: Has anybody seen my rabbit? It went missing again?
Mary Chris Checkie: Check the Poop Deck, Pete. A greyhound was chasing a bunny around and around the pool.

Mary Langan: I promise you. Linda, I can teach you the new 540 Kwap-ni-owski jump, that Dan drew up on a napkin last night at the party.
Linda Haney: Are you trying to kill me? It just can’t be done. At least not by a lady skiboard-jumper of my age – I mean I am almost 39! Can’t we just stay with the Broeski Twisel?
Virgina Ortiz: C’mon, Linda, no guts no glory. If you do it, I promise Wide World of Sports Hill will be there for the Thrill of Victory.
Linda: Or Agony of Defeat! I thought you worked for CNN, Ginny?
Virginia: ABC just offered me a better contract. I am going to be working with that darling Bernie Van Vlymen.

James MacIssac: I am telling you, if you come down to Felix Chevrolet, I can give you a beauty of a ‘59 Impala for no down payment and 0.1% interest financing. This car has been driven by Dr. Ellie McConnaughy only on Sundays to church and back. It still has the original white-wall tires.
David Krohman: You say it is still under warranty?
James: Absolutely, yes. And you know you can trust me for one-day service if anything does goes wrong.

Len DiTrapani: So when I popped out of the trunk and grabbed the tray of double decker burgers from the Mustang next to us at Big Boy’s the waitress screamed……..
Pat Lucatorto: Hey, DiTrapp, you’re the guy that stole my hamburgers and malteds on the hottest date I ever had going. Wait ‘til I get my hands on you. (Len takes off and Pat is chasing him.)

Mr. Alfred Graci: So Ralph, I still don’t know how we managed to survive these knucklehead kids without all our hair falling out. And they haven’t changed. Look at them throwing cabers, unleashing prehistoric flying monsters on Southern California. What is this generation coming to?
Mr. Ralph Rath: I got so discombobulated trying to explain the symbolism of the albatross in The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, Al. No one ever got it.
Al: Let me quote the poet, Ralph. “Nevermore”, I am staying far away from these maniacs and their “high school” behavior as soon as this ship docks. Hey Restrich, get back in the detention hall with Marsh. You two have another hour to serve.
Leo Restrich: Ah gee, Mr. Graci, it’s the last night of the cruise. Can’t you give us a break?
Al: Do you know the meaning of the word, no. It means “No”.
(DiTrapani runs into Mr. Graci and Lucatorto runs into both of them, knocking the three of them to the deck.
Ralph Rath: Looks like you got two more for detention, Al.
Al: (Already writing furiously on his pad of citations.) How many “p’s” in DiTrapani?
Lennie: One, Mr. Graci.
Al: And to think you both are Italian kids who were raised better than that!

Chris Carney: Yes, I am sure of what I heard on radio KHJ. Charley Tuna announced that The Las Panteras Rosas Gang escaped from Soledad Prison yesterday and they spray-painted “We will get you, Christi Brecht!” in pink paint over the entrance to tunnel in Malibu Canyon.
Christi Brecht: What am I going to do?
Chris Belle Monroe: We better go find Scchief Inspectore Eugene Rapposelli. Oh my gosh, I better alert security at the Rijksmuseum, the collections are not safe.

Eugene Rapposelli: I am so terribly sorry, Commissioner Iannolo. I don’t know how my fountain pen managed to slip out of my hand. Please, let me remove it from your forehead, the ink is dripping down and spoiling your silk tie.
Commissioner Robert Iannolo: Get away from me you fool. Help! Dr. Shows. Do not touch me, Rapposelli.

Rich Carvotta: Have you booked Elvis on the Carvotta Show yet, Maggie.
Maggie Calaba: Sorry Rich, McMahon already got Elvis for the Tonight Show.
Rich: Rats! Go offer him twice as much as McMahon. This will be the biggest event on TV since Ed Sullivan booked the Beatles.

Mary Siefert: Do you have any money or food you don’t want?
Pat Maryon: Tsk. Oooooooh!
(Tip from The Shadow: check 1966 Recuerdos on this one).

Ruth Snell: Which one of you is Greg? (Addressing Greg and Mark Smith)
Mark Smith: I am.

Don Turkal: The Cap’n says we are going to be 15 minutes late into port.
Ron Turkal: Damn, that means we are going to miss the last bus to Lancaster.
Claudia Thompson: It’s ok. Cha-cha says all the Lancaster kids can stay at the Playboy Mansion tonight.

Mary Lyons: Are you kidding me?
Adam Marx: Afraid not. We just won’t be able to print the “Closing the Cruise” edition of the Pow-Wow.
Mr. McClanahan: (Just walking up to the two). Why can’t we print the Pow-wow?
Mary: Our Monarch mascot, the lion, ate the mimeograph machine.

Dave Gieg: Listen guys, I know if we bulk up we can do it. Where is your spirit of competition?
Jim Jacobs: I say we go for it.
Bob Ryan: Yeah, last time we went for it, I got impaled by a Ceratotherium and you guys left me up in an acacia tree for hours.
Dave: But elephant tipping has never been done before, it’s the last frontier of ‘cow tipping’.
Judy Pfeifer: I’ll be on your elephant-tipping team, Dave.

Monique Lussier Padberg: We are so far in the red now with all the new charges that Art Durazo is adding to the bill. I mean the power spraying alone for all the dog poop and hairballs is costing a fortune.
Claudia Haugh Stepan: I don’t see these Monarchs paying another hundred bucks each for cleaning and damages to the ship.

Crash, tinkle, tinkle.

Monique: What was that?
Claudia: Just Bob Lendzion demonstrating his golf chipping technique through the picture window of the Dolphin Lounge. That should be another $500.
Bill Merriken: Bob did it. (Merriken is pointing at Lendzion).
Al Graci: Lendzion, detention hall, right now!

Betty Perales: A porpoise just jumped out of the water and stole my ruby earring!
Kathyrn Martin Rahm: That would be Flipper telling me he wants to carry me back to shore. I’ll get your earring back, Betty.
Patti Sellers: Hi, Jay. How are you today? Well the cruise is almost over, are you glad to be getting home soon?
Jay Pelzer: “It’s not over! It’s not over, I tell you.”
Patti: Oh, duck, Jay. Danny just tossed a caber this way. Gosh he goes crazy when he wears his kilts. (Caber goes crashing into bulkhead).

Stern railing on the upper deck of the SS Pterodactyl
All the participants from the Cretaceous Time Traveling Pterodactyl Expedition were gathered. Frank popped the cork on a 1966 bottle of Dom Pérignon.
Art Fonseca: The champagne was donated by King Rex Oliff The Good in appreciation for the pterodactyl skeleton that we donated to the Naturhistoriska Riksmuseet in Stockholm. The Chief Curator of Paleontology is very pleased to own the best preserved and most complete ptero skeleton in the world.
John Barreiro: I donated all my action photos of our pteros to the Los Angeles County Natural History Museum. The exhibit opens on Groundhog Day.
Kathy Gordon: So cheer up, Frank. Our expedition was not a scientific or artistic failure.
Frank: May I propose a toast. Here’s to good friends who supported each other during not one but two cataclysmic volcanic eruptions, Mt. Vesusvius in 69 AD and Mt. Doom in 65,000,000 BC.
Chachita Faitel: I will drink to that. Did I tell you that I got a phone call from Hef, today. He says we can move back into the Mansion for the same rent.
Bobbie Mosher: That’s wonderful, Cha Cha. The old goat misses you.

Bill Danaher: You look a bit tired, Alan?
Alan Shows: I was up all night treating the ciguatera victims. Nevertheless, I am happy to say everyone is on their feet again, if not yet eating hearty.
Pliny The Elder: You are an excellent physician, Alan. I wish you would come back to Rome with me and teach the Phoenician doctors of my era a few things. I do miss Rome, especially the breads and virgin olive oils.
Pat Dolan: Say, speaking of feeding. There is one last batch of mussels and clams from the swamps of the Cretaceous on ice in Monarch. Why don’t I ask the chef to prepare them for us?
Peggy Jones: You stay here and have another glass, Pat. I will go talk to the chef.
Tim Jordan: I think Frank is still disappointed that we could not bring back a live pterodactyl. It would have been a great Alemany High mascot. Imagine those school administrations changing the mascot from the Indians to the Warriors. Harummmph! They just are not visionary enough to understand what a noble animal the pterodactyl is. Or should I say was?
Greg Pokorski: Say, Tim, you spent a lot of time flying your gyro right up there with the pteros. What was that like? How do you characterize them?
Tim: Graceful. They must be the best gliders ever to soar through the skies. And as long as I stayed clear of the nesting cliffs they treated me like I was just another flying vertebrate. I looked in the eye of one ptero no further from me than you now stand.
Terry Mock: And what did you see in the eye of the ptero?
Tim: I saw…..

(Hold that thought, Tim. Everyone, backflash 1 minute to another nearby conversation)

Chris Gilmore: Awful good champagne, Frankie Joe.
Frank: I guess. I still feel a little blue that we came so close to bringing back a live ptero, and yet we failed. (He turned toward the stern railing and tossed his glass overboard). What is that flying this way? Looks like a group of brown pelicans flying low over the water in V-formation, but they are not exactly moving like pelicans.
Chris: (Reaching into her tote bag.) You better have a look through my opera-glasses.
Frank: He focuses the glasses, and then declares, “Ooooooh myyyyy Goodness, Christina Marie! It cannot be? (He looks at Chris totally confused). How? When? You?
Chris: Frankie Joe, just before I rappelled down the cliff as the volcano was about to toast us, I found a nest with five eggs. I put the eggs in the cartons and sacks that we carried for just that purpose. That is why I was the last one down the cliffs. But I didn’t know if the eggs were fertile and didn’t want to disappoint you. And then of course we just about died from toxic fumes not to mention the second-degree burns. I didn’t wake up until we were in the UCLA medical center.
Frank: And all five eggs were fertile! But, but there has not been time enough for the chicks to hatch, grow and fledge. Those are subadult pterodactyls.
Chris: Well, without telling anyone, Kathy Gordon and I went back to the Cretaceous in the Monarch II. We found a female who adopted the eggs and raised them. Here they come over the ship. That is Drusilla in the lead, Pliny on her left, Atticus on the far side, Caesar on the right inside, and the runt, beg pardon, is little Frankie Joe.

Now back to Tim Jordan
Tim: I saw……… Look up there it’s a bird. No it’s a glider plane. It certainly to hell is not SuperCoach. Those are pterodactyls!

The five pteros led by Drusilla circled the ship. Little Frankie Joe dipped down and caught a barracuda, flipped it in the air and swallowed it down in one gulp.

Alan Shows: Hope Frankie Joe doesn’t get ciguatera.

Of course no one could see them, but also flying right up there with the Ptero’s and dipping and barrel-rolling among them were 24 Alemany Angels from the graduating class of 1966 enjoying the evening and the sunset as much as anybody: Margaret Bamrick, Sue Bolduc, Charlene Brash, Paula Carabelli, Frank Del Olmo, Mary Dermody, Russel Doutre, Don Falstitch, Paul Frysak, Lynn Marie Gayetty, Randy Guerrero, Timothy Hollywood, Wayne Jzyk, Peggy Kiley, James Lahey, John Lorenze, Pamela Morris, Pamela Richard, Sharon Rondou, Ned Ryan, Daria Shanks, Greg Villalva, Tom Walker, and Don Writer.

Paul Frysak: Look down there. I almost thought Coach Ralph Ahn was waving. Doesn’t he look great?
Frank Del Olmo: Look at the gaggle of girls around Bob Johnson. Nothing has changed in 45 years. How does he do that?
Don Writer: Hey, John Gugerty and Johnny Thompson are shooting hoops on the outdoor court. If only I could join them for a game of H-O-R-S-E. I would show them a few moves.
Paula Carrabelli: They all look so happy. God bless them.
Tim Hollywood: He does bless them every day, Paula.

Then a very high-pitched whistle was blown. The kind of whistle that is way above human hearing and that only angels and dogs can hear. Soon, the 43 stow-away dogs that had been smuggled aboard the Pterodactyl began barking, baying, howling and yapping. Let’s not concern ourselves with the dogs.
Pam Checkie: Oh shoot, that is John Christenson blowing the signal that we have to go back to Heaven.
Peggy Kiley: It can’t be time yet. I am just going to go down there and buzz by Peggy Jones’ head and see if she notices the wind in her ear.
John Christenson: All right, all you Angels. You have been granted a special favor and time is up. You know that recreational permission to visit earth is only granted once a decade for one hour and now we must get back. Father Weber is expecting all of us for choir practice. Frysak, try not to be off-key again.

Paul Frysak sang especially well that night in choir practice.

And so my fellow Alemanians, with five precocious pterodactyls soaring over Mission Hills, you can expect any day now that the Board of Directors of Bishop Alemany High School just might change the official school mascot to…

"Th-th-th-that's all folks!"

Suffering succotash! Wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute.

Why hasn’t the Shadow Press used a real superstar like me in this farce of a serial story?
I, Daffy Duck, am the true icon of the ‘60’s, not that stuttering porcine palooka.
Not that scarf-wearing shadowy dude that walks in the fog.
And certainly not that pink catatonic panther-cat!
I know for a fact that Sue Shannon or Kathi Gibson would have been overjoyed to have a role in The Shadow opposite a superior leading duck like me.
You should have used me, Daffy Duck, Hollywood Phenom as your SuperHero!

SuperDuckkie says “Pass the Kryptonite, Coach”.

Bob Johnson: Gee, Daffy, I think we might have a role for you.
Hey Dan and Frank, do you like duck l’orange?
Dan McMahon: I love duck l’orange, Bob.
Frank Bonaccorso: I’m kind of hungry now, Bob. I will preheat the oven, you grab the duck?
Daffy Duck: You know it’s already January and I haven’t undergone my annual migration to San Ignacio Lagoon down in Baja. My dear old mother is probably worried that I have not arrived yet. And I promised Ken Meddock that I would show him the whales. See you guys later.

THE END

Jay Pelzer: Wait. It’s not over!
Frank: Believe me, Jay, it’s over. You are NOT getting the last word this time.

THE END!!!!!!!!!

Volume 28
The Further Saga of Alemany ’66:
As Revealed by The Shadow
with minor assistance from
F.J. Bonaccorso and
Photo Wizards R. M. Johnson and D. P. McMahon

Special Dedication: To all the Cartwrights on the Ponderosa

Our proud father Ben is surrounded by sons Martin, Little Bob, and Hoss. Behind them is our Cousin Beauregard ("Tex"), who came to visit Pa five years ago and never left. He loves Hop Sing's cooking. Lurking in the mirror in the shed is The Shadow, who watches over all Alemany '66 functions

Subtitle: Oye como va?
Subtitle: Barrrrr—aaaa---cuda!

Wrigley Field, Chicago
Two men are sitting in the right field bleachers with steaming cups of coffee.
Ernie Banks: Man, what a beautiful day, let’s call some of the guys and play a doubleheader, Jim.
Jim Dantona: Quit dreaming and give me part of the newspaper.
Ernie: Here you get the front page and the classifieds; I get the sports page first. (Basking in sunlight that would make David Surges smile on a rare mild winter day only -3 degrees, the two cronies read a newspaper on their coffee break. Dantona takes a bottle out of his inside coat pocket and pours a little in his coffee.)
Ernie: Hey, let me have a hit of that stuff.
Ernie: Hey, this Geritol stuff is good! I feel a little zip in my blood already.
Oh my, I sure am glad we are not in the American League. No one is going to have a chance against the Red Sox now.
Jim Dantona: Wha’da’ya mean, Ernie. The Cubs can lick anyone in that other league, if we can just get to the Series, we’ll show ‘em.
Ernie: You better read this, Jimmie.

Redsox Juggernaut Signs Superstar
Boston Globe, Reported by Gail Smith

We are trying to confirm that The Boston Red Sox have signed the superstar they have coveted throughout the Winter Hot Stove League. Topping offers tendered by the Yankees, Mets, Cubs, and Angels, we are hearing that the Bosox are about to ink Johan Santana to a whopping trade with the Twins that includes a $190 million contract extension over 6 years. This reporter will have details in the Globe’s Late Edition.

Can anyone compete with Boston if
Johan Santana goes to Beantown?

Breakfast Buffet, Main Dining Hall, SS Pterodactyl

Linda Williams: That was some party last night! There have only been half a dozen people here all morning and it’s last call for breakfast now.
Janice Coyne: Well, Diane Mottola proved she is still the “best dancer” from Alemany.
William Fuller: Ohhhh, my head. Can someone pour me a cup of black coffee?
Theresa Killian: Here you go, Bill, watch out because it is hot. It’s amazing how things printed in Recuerdos ’66 have not changed. I think Bob Ryan is still the wildest dresser.
Susan Murdock: Yeah, and Jay Pelzer is just plain wild. I mean to see a 59 year old man swing from the chandelier to prove he can drink a White Russian while upside down! I have to go walk my dog on the Poop Deck, see you all later.
William Fuller: I must be getting old, my stomach aches, my head hurts, and this whole dining room won’t stop swaying.
Father Neal Hughes: Of course the room is swaying, me lad, you are on a ship and the seas are a little rough. You should have a bite to eat and you will feel better. Excuse me. I am going back for seconds on the pancakes before they close the buffet.


ABC TV Studio aboard the SS Pterodactyl
Good evening, this is Bernard Van Vlymen reporting on location aboard the SS Pterodactyl which is currently cruising off the coast of Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. We begin tonight’s news with a late breaking story about the rich getting richer. I am told by reputable anonymous sources that The Boston Red Sox have acquired a superstar that almost guarantees another World Series in Beantown. Our source believes Santana spurned an offer from the Yankees and will agree to wear a Red Sox uniform for $200 million over 7 seven years. This is the largest contract ever awarded in baseball history. Asked if he thought he could play every fifth day, Santana told our source, “Hell, I am going to play in 81 games, in fact I will play at every home game, no problem.”

Bernie: (Uhmm, hold on a second, our producer, Stephen Watton, is speaking in my earpiece). It seems that there was a slight error, Johan Santana signed with the Dodgers. It is Carlos Santana that signed with Boston, and he absolutely will be playing during all home games at Fenway Park through 2014. Let’s ask Rolling Stone editor, Marc Welter, what he thinks of this signing?

Santana plays “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” in 7th Inning Stretch at Fenway

Marc: Hey! Greatest thing to come to baseball since…….

Still has a prize in every box!

Cracker Jack put a prize in the box! I think the signing of Santana is huge, I mean bigger than Ballpark Franks or any active ball player that the Red Sox could’a signed. The Sox are going to have sell-outs five years in a advance and are going to make a ton of money in selling CD’s, T-shirts, Fatheads, etc. The crowd is going to be pumped, every time Santana does the 5 sec musical intro to a hitter coming to bat and will play a full song everytime there is a pitching change outta da bullpen, see! Fenway will be more intimidating than ever for road teams and all that money the organization will make will allow them to sign all the free agents they want. I already hear that Alex Rodriguez is trying to get out of his Yankee contract, because he is a huge Santana fan.
I see a dynasty looming for the Red Sox. Back to you, Bernie baby!

Carlos Santana waits by bullpen gate for a cue to play “Oye Como Va”
as introduction to a Manny Ramirez at bat.

Bridge of SS Pterodactyl
George Duggan: Cap'n we have a message from the radio room. There was a major earthquake in Hawaii, we are warned that there is a tsunami alert.
Art Durazo: Thank you, Mr. Duggan. Double the watch and put our best tech on the radar. Carry on.
George: Aye aye, sir.

Sick Bay, SS Pterodactyl
Theresa Killeen: How is she, doc?
Dr. Alan Shows: Liz Healy is a sick puppy right now. Our sixth case of food poisoning from last night’s menu. Lab results indicate the ciguatera is caused by a dinoflagellate protozoan often associated with ingestion of flesh from "top-of-the-food-chain" fish.
Theresa: Hmm, she had the barracuda fillets last night. But she will be alright?
Alan: We will know in a few hours.
Theresa: Who else is down with the poisoning?
Alan: It seems to have hit the teacher’s table real hard. Mr. Smidt, Mr. DeCoster, and Coach Vanni have it. Also, James Wright and Tim Jordan.

Bridge of SS Pterodactyl
Lamont Cranston: Cap'n, (puff, puff – breathing hard) I came as quickly as I could. (more heavy breathing) I was playing a game of cribbage with Coach King and we both ran up from the lower deck lounge as fast (puff, puff) as we could (puff, puff).
Coach Mike King: Wie getz, Cap’n?
Art Durazo: Gentlemen, we have a mega-tsunami 80 miles off our port side approaching us as 240 mph. Radar indicates it is over 140 ft high.
Lamont: Hmmm, that is not good.
Coach King: Mein Gott, what will you do? That only gives us 20 minutes until impact!
Art: Well, Tim Jordan is down with food poisoning, but Brad Kopp says he can fly Tim’s gyrocopter. He is flying toward the wave with a video cam now to track it visually for us. I am afraid all I can do is point the bow into the wave when it approaches.
George Duggan: I have radio contact with Brad, Cap’n. He reports visual contact and that the wave is increasing in size as it reaches shallower water. He estimates it is 180 feet high now.
Art: What does The Shadow know about tsunamis?
Lamont: He knows that the Pterodactyl does not stand much of a chance against that wave. Wingfoot Healy teamed with Marshmellow Man Marsh could handle this.
Art: Except Liz Wingfoot Healy has the worst of the food poisoning. It was that 8 foot giant barracuda that Terry Mock caught that had the ciguatera.
Radar Tech Philip Tessier: We have 12 minutes to impact, Cap’n.
Coach King: I have two questions and need quick answers. What room is Tom Marsh in?
George Duggan: He is in Cabin 488 overlooking the Poop Deck.
Coach: I remember seeing a phone booth somewhere on the ship. Where is it?
Art: Coach, here use my cell phone.
Coach: Just tell me where the phone booth is.
Art. Starboard side of Deck Three. But, I still…..
(Coach King was off at a run).
Art: …..don’t understand what you are going to do in a phone booth when we are all facing certain death.
Lamont Cranston: Relax, Art, The Shadow Knows.

The SS Pterodactyl and every living member of the Alemany Class of ’66 are in dire straits not to mention harm’s way.

Our Super-heroine, Liz Wingfoot Healy, is under the weather – dang she could have made a difference, or at least The Shadow seems to think she could have.

Double dang, Brad Kopp reports the tsunami is 200 ft high!

Before we all go to Davey Jones's Locker with the Pterodactyl (She was a good ship!) I have a final announcement in the way of (heaven forbid) errata that was printed in Volume 26.

Through a Freudian Slip the last member elected to The Shadow’s Super Fan Hall of Fame was announced as:

Denise “Lil Donnie” Werner Piscitello

With great apologies, the announcement should have read:

Sarah “Lil Donnie” Swenson

Heads will roll among the editorial staff!!!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from everyone still with their heads attached at The Shadow Press.

Volume 27
The Further Saga of Alemany ‘66:
As Revealed by The Shadow
with minor assistance from
F.J. Bonaccorso and
Photo Wizards R. M. Johnson and D. P. McMahon

And

With a special vignette from Shadow Guest Ghost Writer:
CBJ

Subtitle: What’s That Up In The Sky?
Second Subtitle: Fungos in Fenway.

Congratulations to Trivia Contest Winner for Volume 26:
Annie Gattuso Monthaven who identified Morro Bay
Runners-up were Leo Restrich and Christi Brecht Moore

Swimming Pool, SS Pterodactyl
Teri Arteaga: Well I think it was quite decent of Captain Durazo, to concede that dogs have a place on the cruise. Look at how much Louie enjoys swimming. Stay out of the deep end, Louie.

Captain Durazo admitted that without Louie he could not have knocked out the Nepalese assassin. As a reward he opened the pool to all dogs on board.

George Duggan: And no longer do I have to worry about losing my job if the Captain, found out about my little Cookie. Of course, we are honor bound to only exercise our dogs on this deck.
Chris Incaudo: And what did you say was the name of this deck, George?
George: Rather appropriately, we are on the ‘poop deck’, Chris.
Cindy Parcel: Oh, that is precious! (She shouts to her dog). Spooky, stay away from that llama! How did you come up with that name, George?
Thomas Tracy: If I may explain with your permission, George, the poop deck is the nautical term for the stern superstructure of a ship. The term goes back to very early days in the British navy.
Carol Trifiro: Oh dear, hand me that pooper scooper please, my Bowser just did his business.
Denise Werner: Say to whom does that tiny ever so cute chihuahua belong?
Donna Shields: Would you believe that that little guy belongs to The Shadow?
Lamont Cranston: Good day, ladies and gents. Did I hear my name spoken?

(A huge splash is heard and Lamont in his white sports coat and white linen slacks is soaked. A great dane has just jumped into the pool and is licking Louie in friendship.)

Suzann Raiche: Oh, poor Lamont. You are soaked. You had better go change. I will keep an eye on your doggie. What did you say its name was?
Lamont: Hercules. And thank you, I do believe I will go change.

Bridge, SS Pterodactyl:
Art Durazo: It is a pleasure having another Captain aboard who appreciates how much work there is in captaining a ship, Paul.
Paul Pichotta: Of course this ship is a bit larger than mine, Art. Say, Art, what is that off the bow?
John Depew: (looking through binoculars.) Strangest thing I ever saw. It is a lady riding a dolphin!
Art: Nonsense, give me those binoculars.
Rita Marie Desiato: (Also with binoculars). She’s waving, trying to get our attention. I can swear that I recognize that woman.
Diane “Dee” Dow: Ree, let me have a look. (She pulls binoculars that are still around Ree’s neck and focuses).
Rita: Hey take it easy, that’s my neck, Dee.
Dee: Well, if that ain’t the cat’s meow. That’s Kathyrn Martin Rahmn. Captain, you have to stop this ship right now, and let Kath aboard!
Art: I cannot just stop this ship to pick up a latecomer on a porpoise. I would be the laughing stock of the cruise fleet.
Coach Ann Foster: (Blows her coach’s whistle loud). Captain, that is an Alemany volleyball letterwoman. You will pick her up.
Art: I give in. (He picks up the phone to the engine room.) All engines, stop. First it’s dogs and now its dolphins! Retirement is looking mighty good to me, Paul.
Paul: Take it easy, Art. All in a days work on top of Davey Jones’ Locker.

Kathryn Martin Rahm and Flipper

Cabin 44D
Cristine Kelsey: Monique, on behalf of all Alemany 1966, these roses are a token of our appreciation for organizing the cruise. It has been so, so, so interesting.
Monique Lussier Padberg: Oh, these are beautiful. But Claudia deserves as much credit as me, Claudia, I insist you take half of these to your cabin.
Claudia Haugh Stepan: No, no. It was your idea to have a class reunion cruise. The most credit goes to you. I’ll just take one.
Pamela Raine: Say, did you girls hear the latest gossip?
Kathleen Phelan: No, what happened?
Pamela: Kathryn Martin was riding a dolphin off the front of the ship and waved the Captain down to pick her up. But Art did not want to stop. Fortunately, Coach Foster was on the bridge and made him stop the ship.
Monique: Poor Kathryn missed the ship in San Pedro. Well, then according to my records, every living Alemany student of the class of 1966 is aboard the ship.
Patti Sellers: We are all together again. Remarkable!
Jean Roth: Then we should have a special party tonight.

Later that night……

The Following Story Is Contributed By
Ghost Guest Writer, Beej, aka CBJ

The Commissoner of Baseball, Bud Selig, with Red Sox
General Manager, Gyoengyi Molnar Quinn and World Series MVP, Mike Lowell

Captain’s Table, SS Pterodactyl
(Seated at the Captain’s table are Captain Art Durazo, Cece Duffy Essin, John Errea, Gyoengyi Molnar Quinn and Patrick Hayes. The centerpiece on the captain’s table is the 2007 World Series Trophy)

Captain Durazo: I am truly honored by our distinguished guests tonight. Ms. Quinn, you do me great honor by agreeing to be my dinner partner.
Gyoengyi Molnar Quinn: Captain, how gracious you are.
Captain Durazo: I have never been seated this close to a true sports icon. Tell me about your duties as General Manager of the Boston Red Sox.
Gyoengyi: The season never ends for those of us in the front office. When the last out is recorded in the last game of the season, our work is just beginning. Even on this Reunion Cruise my cell phone rings constantly with trade possibilities and salary negotiations for our returning players.
Captain Durazo: Not a moments rest for those trying to stay on top in the ultra competitive sports world, I guess.
Gyoengyi: So very true, Captain. My work continues even on this lovely cruise. By the way, Captain, I have been looking for a gypsy fortune teller that I hear is aboard, Madame Zazza, but I haven’t seen her since the cruise began.
Captain Durazo: Ah, yes. Madame Zazza is a very elusive woman. Perhaps I can have one of my officers assist you in finding her.
Cece Duffy: Arthur…I mean, Captain, what a lovely centerpiece. I would like to take it with me as a planter for my solarium.
Captain Durazo: I don’t think Ms. Quinn would part with it…you see it’s……
John Errea: (interrupting, and holding the trophy) Cece, don’t you know that this is the World Series trophy.
Cece Duffy: I was never really into sports.
John: I always wanted to be a professional baseball player, but I couldn’t see from homeplate to the pitcher’s mound. You may remember that I wear glasses, which I seem to have left in my stateroom.
(John sets the trophy on the edge of the Captain’s table where it teeters precariously)
Patrick Hayes: In high school there was nothing wrong with my eyesight, but I couldn’t hit the durn ball. I still have the perfect batting stroke… (Swinging his arms wildly, he sends the trophy spinning through the air)
(Gyoengyi’s eyes grow wide and she gasps….)
(At First Officer George Duggan’s adjoining table, Jim Dantona leaps toward the plummeting trophy, making a perfect head-first slide with the trophy cradled in his arms.)
Jim Dantona: Dis’ shoulda been da Cubs…dis shoulda been da Cubs.
Gyoengyi: Jim, you are my hero. If anything had happened to the trophy I could never have returned to Boston.
Jim Dantona: Let me hold it for just a little longer, please.
Gyoengyi: Jim, dear Jim, the Cubs time will come. Until then, you can visit the trophy whenever you’re in Boston. Captain, forgive me, with all this excitement I think I should retire the trophy for tonight. Would you ask one of your officers to return the trophy to my stateroom?
Captain Durazo: Yes, of course. (snapping his fingers)
Gyoengyi: And Captain, please do not forget my desire to meet Madame Zazza.
Captain Durazo: I shall see to it, Ms. Quinn.

Now back to Commentary from The Shadow…..
Upper Deck, SS Pterodactyl
George Duggan on loudspeaker: Now hear this, now hear this. Lights on the upper deck will be dimmed in five minutes for stargazing. All interested parties please proceed immediately to the upper deck.
Tom Carnegie: Hi everyone. What a great turnout and as you can see we have a clear sky and billions and billions of stars and heavenly bodies to observe. Well the lights are pretty dim and after 41 years, I might not recognize you. So let’s go around the circle an introduce ourselves and ladies use your maiden names because those are the ones we will recognize. I am Tom Carnegie, Chief Astronomer at the Keck Observatories in Hawaii. Let’s go around to the right.
People name themselves: I’m Susan McKay. David Heidt, here. Bonnie Mikolyski. Yo, Jane Murphy. Hi, Linda Hughes. I am Father William McHugh. I’m JoAnn Schnelldorfer from the Alemany Alumni Office. Patricia Feely. You may know me as Coach Mike Vaccaro. Hello, I am Margaret Wurster. I’m John Ferry. Philip Contrieras. Hello, everyone, I am Barbara Kane. John Walters. I’m Cece Duffy. Sharon Byers. Al Graci, I used to teach algebra to some of you knuckleheads like Car-neg-ee. And my name is Adrienne Poirier, I work with Tom at Mt. Keck, and I will be happy to help answer questions and show you some wonders of the sky through our telescope.
Tom Marsh: Ouch, stubbed my toe in the dark, sorry I’m late.
Mr. Graci: Late again, Marsh. You haven’t changed a bit. That will be a citation you can collect after star watching class.
Tom C.: Let’s get started. If you will follow my laser light you will see a cluster of seven stars in a W-pattern. It is the Pleiades. This star cluster is also known at the Seven Sisters or to astronomers as M45.

The Seven Sisters known to the ancient Greeks and many other cultures were mentioned in Homer’s Iliad and again in The Odyssessy.

Tom Carnegie: The nine brightest stars are hot blue stars and represented the Seven Sisters of Greek mythology as well as the parents, Atlas and Pleione. The Pleiades lies within the constellation Taurus and is one of the nearest star clusters to us here on Earth. It formed a mere 100 million years ago.
Tom Marsh: So it is nearly as old as Mr. Graci.
Al Graci: That crack with get you a second citation, Marsh. You are only one citation away from detention hall which I am personally conducting tomorrow afternoon with Coach King.
Tom Carnegie: (Chuckles to himself). Getting back on the topic, the Pleiades are 118 parsecs from earth. The distance to the Pleiades is an important first step in calibrating what is known as the cosmic distance ladder, a sequence of distance scales for the whole universe. The size of this first step of the ladder and has been estimated by several methods. Accurate knowledge of the distance allows astronomers to plot a Hertzsprung-Russell Diagram for the cluster which, when compared to those plotted for clusters whose distance is not known, allows their distances to be estimated. Other methods can then extend the distance scale from open clusters to galaxies and then clusters of galaxies, and a complete cosmic distance ladder can be constructed. Ultimately, understanding of the age and future evolution of the universe is influenced by our knowledge of the distance to the Pleiades.
Father McHugh: And I hope you all took notes on that because there is a quiz afterwards. (Laughs from the crowd).
Jane Murphy: Tom, could you translate that into English? (More laughs).
Adrienne: Ah, Tom, maybe we can lighten up a bit and just appreciate the heavenly bodies for their beauty. Folks, if you would like to take turns looking through this telescope you can see the rings of Saturn.
Bonnie Mikolyski: Wow, is that ever cool.
Barbara Kane: My turn next.

Image from Hubble Space Telescope, courtesy of Thomas J. Carnegie

The Comet Lady, Adrienne, scoping things out for Alemany.

Tom C.: While people are waiting to look at Saturn, up here is the constellation Scorpio, one of the largest constellations visible to us………
Joanne Snellendorfer: Say, Tom, what is that bright light up in the sky over there. It seems to be moving.
Tom C.: Maybe we can put the telescope on it. I would say it is a human craft or satellite of some kind moving at that speed.
Adrienne: I am putting the scope on it now, Tom. Oh, you wouldn’t believe it!
Tom: What is it? Space shuttle?
Adrienne: No. Have a look yourself.

You Trekkies will recognize this craft going boldly where no man has gone before:
an Alemany Reunion Cruise.

USS Enterprise far above SS Pterodactyl
Mr. Scott (not the Alemany Mr. Scott, the other Mr. Scott): Thank you for identifying those Vulcan bat specimens for us. It is a big help in our cataloging the creatures of the universe. Now we will drop you off at your destination, laddie. Are you ready for transport, Dr. Bonaccorso?
Frank: (Gets a nod from Chris Gilmore). We are ready. Be sure to say goodbye to Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock for us. Beam me down, Scotty.
Chris and Frank disappear.

On the Upper Deck of SS Pterodactyl
Chris Gilmore: (walks from the darkness of the Upper Deck). Hi, every body. What is going on here?
Father McHugh: We are observing the heavenly bodies. And where did you two just come from?
Frank: You might say we have been observing the heavenly bodies too, Father. Mr. Graci, why how are you?
Mr. Graci: What have I done to deserve this? First Marsh, and now Bonaccorso, who never could tell a hypotenuse from a hippopotamus. I think I might go down to the main deck for a nightcap. Would you care to join me, Father?
Father McHugh: Well, I wouldn’t want a man to drink alone. Lead the way, Al.

Trivia. Trivia. Trivia.
Here is this week’s Alemany Monarch Trivia Contest Question:

This week we have a riddle to be solved:

It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,

Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt.

It lies behind stars and under hills,

And empty holes it fills.

It comes first and follows after,

Ends life, kills laughter.

What is it?
Each contestant may submit one and only answer.
And only members of the 1966 Alemany H.S. Monarchs and their teachers are eligible.

First correct answer to: bonafrank@yahoo.com
Wins: Collector Edition Johnny Walker Red

Now back to our story…….

“A” LEVEL CORRIDOR – SS PETRODACTYL

(A soft, tinkling sound is heard as a dim figure disappears into Cabin 66A)
Gyoengyi: (To herself.) Could that be Madame Zazza?
(As Gyoengyi nears Cabin 66A, the door flies open.)
Madame Zazza: Ahh, we meet at last!
Gyoengyi: Do you know me?
Madame Zazza: Only that you have been seeking my counsel for many days without success. My intuition tells me that you are Hungarian, by birth, and perhaps of noble blood. Are you not?
Gyoengyi: Yes, but…
Madame Zazza: No matter (waving her hand), I know why you are here.
Gyoengyi: Will you help me?
Madame Zazza: Perhaps. Confirm for me the complete nature of your requests.
Gyoengyi: Only two things, Madame Zazza. I will be brief. First, my position with the Boston Red Sox requires me to negotiate player deals during the off-season. We need another starting pitcher, preferably a left-hander. Can I possibly sign Johan Santana who now plays for the Minnesota Twins?
Madame Zazza: Hmmmm. Asking the cosmic forces to intercede on such a mundane matter….I don’t know if I can help you.
Gyoengyi: Madame Zazza, baseball is in my blood. I so desperately want our team to succeed.
Madame Zazza: (closing her eyes, and humming an eerie mantra. After several minutes her eyes open) Very well…you will sign this Santana on very favorable terms. And your second need?
Gyoengyi: Madame Zazza, we Bostonians suffered through 86 years of frustration and futility before winning the World Series in 2004. Now, we have won again in 2007. Will we be able to repeat our championship in 2008?
Madame Zazza: For this I will need my crystal ball. (As the room darkens a circular light flares from the corner table) (Madame Zazza conceals the shining orb from Gyng’s view)
Gyoengyi: Madame Zazza, tell me what our future holds, please, oh, please!
(several minutes elapse, then…..)
Madame Zazza: My crystal is very dim tonight, my dear. Some things must not be revealed, but are best left to the vagaries of time. You shall see….you shall see, but not tonight.

Madame Zazza’s Secret Prognostication for 2008
World Series Championship

Until next time,
God Bless You All,
The Shadow

P.S. Fooled you Christi, this week’s trivia question is somewhere in the middle of the story. Scroll back up.