The Final Volume [24]
Part E.
The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As Revealed by The Shadow
with minor assistance from
F.J. Bonaccorso and
Photo Wizards R. M. Johnson and D. P. McMahon
Volume 24E Subtitle:
"Murder In The Ballroom"
Special Dedication for this Volume:
To Everyone That Remembers the '60's
I am not going to tell you the name of this band.
Trivia Question: What is the name of this band?
Hint: They appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show more times than The Beatles.
Hint #2: They remain The Shadow’s favorite band of the 60’s.
Send your answer to bonafrank@yahoo.com
If anyone answers, Beatles, they are going to receive a citation from Father Carignan for sleeping through the ‘60’s and not reading carefully!
Contest Winner receives a free 30 minute session with Dr. Barb
The Shadow: Now where were we when I left off last time……
Exiting the Monarch II Time Traveling Machine on the Deck of SS Pterodacytl:
Bill Danaher: Hey Tim, I got to hand it to you, you did have the right coordinates for landing on the deck of the SS Pterodactyl. I guess I owe you a margarita, bud.
Marilyn Gadomski: Wow! That was a fast ride. It was every bit as much fun as riding a ski box down the Matterhorn.
Tim Jordan: Ah, Marilyn, you still have snow on your clothes from that last training run. Let me brush you off a bit so you will look presentable.
Marilyn: Well, I had to get some training in before coming to the cruise. Those Nepalese will be gunning for me next month in the Mt. Everest Challenge Cup and my boss is the toughest taskmaster in the world. I better keep on my toes.
Bill: Who is that? George Steinbrenner?
Marilyn: No, King Rex Olliff of Sweden. The guy is so demanding. Wow, was that like 45 seconds ago we left the slopes of Calgary?
Tim: (Looking at his chronometer.) It was 39 seconds ago.
Marilyn: Well, thanks for the lift. I knew I could count on Alemany classmates. See you at dinner. I better check-in and I sure need a hot shower (brushing more snow off).
Crowding around the registration tables to sign-in are Margaret Blanc, Gail Bonas, Thomas DeTroia, Betty Perales, Charlotte Roskoskwi, and John Morgan.
At the entrance to the registration area is Tom "Marshmellow Man"" Marsh when up walks Lynne Chaney and Linda Daush.
Tom: Good evening, ladies. Would you be interested in buying a bar of World’s Finest Chocolate?
Good Afternoon, I’m fund raising for Alemany High School…..
Rumor has it that Greg Smith still has half a case of 1965 vintage World’s Finest that he never sold or returned to Alemany in his garage. Please don't tell Father Carignan.
Linda: Tom, we haven’t seen you in over 40 years and you’re trying to sell us chocolate bars?
Lynne: What gives with the World’s Finest? Didn’t we have to sell those for fund raising drives at Alemany?
Tom: Er, yeah. Well, er, you see. Father Carignan has a memory like an elephant. He remembered that I still owe him detention time from my senior year. So if I can sell these candy bars, I can work my time off.
Lynne: That is pretty lame. Why is he doing this? This is our reunion cruise.
Tom: Something about if he let's one guy off easy there will be no discipline on this cruise. At least I didn't get the paddle, this time. And he says he can still get Father Weber to revoke my Alemany diploma. Why, I'd lose my membership in the International Association of Superheroes if I lose my high school diploma. So won't you please buy a candy bar?
Linda: Of course we will, Tom. I’ll take two bars.
Tom: That's still only $2.
Lynne: I'll take three.
Tom: Ah, gee, thanks.
Linda: Say Tom, what do you do when you're not being a Superhero?
Tom: Oh, I deliver for Morigi's Pizza.
Lynne: My favorite pizza! Devonshire store?
Tom: No, Reseda Blvd store.
Linda: Well, see you later, Tom. And, I want a dance with you tonight. And don't forget me like you did at the sophomore sock-hop.
Tom: Ah, gee whiz, shucks. (He blushes) Ok. I mean, I won't forget.
Close to the still steaming Monarch II a helicopter lands on the SS Pterodactyl helipad. The rotors stop and out steps the President and Vice President of the United States of America, Jude Hawkes and Bob Guerrero. Meg Latham, Sue Acton, Mike Feehan, Jeanette Strunk, Dave Newell, Jim MacIsaac, and Willie Melendres led by maestros Mr. Walt Daniels and Father Maurice O'Flynn strike an Alemany Concert Band and Glee Club rendition of "Hail to the Chief". An Alemany Angel and Alemany band member, Russ Doutre, flys unseen overhead and hums to the music. Majorette Ann Gattuso breaking decorum and all protocols greets Jude and Bob with hugs.
Alemany Concert Band and Glee Club in 60's attire for the grand occasion
The crowd that greets the Prez and V.P. start chanting: "Four more years. Four more years."
Paula Moore: I’m voting for you, Bob.
David Rosso: When are we going to get a tax cut?
Chris Rogers: The Mt. Rushmore image looks just like you, Jude.
Marie DeLanzo: Hula Hoop contest tonight, Jude?
Ken Shaffer: Oh crap, I think I just stepped in dog shit.
Art Durazo: "Dog shit!" There is no dog shit on my ship. There are no dogs allowed on my ship.
Ken: "Well smell this", as he lifts his foot near Art.
Art: "Why that is dog shit!! Security, security, we have a stow-away dog on board. All hands are to search this ship and find that dog."
One deck above, looking down on the scene below:
Lamont Cranston (aka The Shadow) now dressed in a tan leisure suit: Well, Lester, you better make sure that Rover doesn't go wandering again or he will be shark bait.
Lester Dunkin: Rover is in my cabin gnawing a bone under the bed. I will make sure he doesn’t get out again except when I walk him at night. And I will be carrying a pooper-scooper.
Lamont: Ok, well tell Elvis I will look forward to seeing him tonight. Has anybody let Bobbie Mosher know that Elvis lives?
Lester: I was thinking, maybe you would be the one to gently give her the news. I can’t stand it when women faint. Besides, I think I’m going fishing off the lower deck with Terry Mock, I see him down there now. Can't let Terry catch all the big ones.
Mike Modugno: ......and if that boat captain had used his gaff correctly, I would have landed the biggest Dorado that would have exceeded the world record by at least double.
Liz Pack: Sure Mike. Say, those are some pretty nifty flies on your vest, Terry. Did you tie any of them yourself?
Terry Mock: As a matter of fact I have tied nearly all of them myself, Liz. It's a pleasure to talk to someone that really knows the intricacies of fishing. I’ve heard that you have caught more than a few record bass in recent years.
Liz: Yes, I do a little bass fishing.
Alan Dami: Hey, I got a bite! Wow, there is something big on here.
Terry Mock: Let it run with the line, Alan. Ok, hook 'em, now.
Alan: (Is reeling in line.) Here she comes. (and he pulls up a miniscule fish).
Ann Turner: We throw those back where I come from, Alan.
Alan: Well at least it is a fish. The only things Mike has caught today are a wet rag and an old boot.
Terry Mock: You call that a fish? Here take a look at this photo of a fish that I caught on my last trip to the Congo River.
Mike: Whoa. What kind of fish is that?
Terry: The locals call it a Goliath Tigerfish. They say this one would be really impressive when it grows-up.
Terry Mock with his juvenile Goliath Tigerfish.
Grand Ballroom, SS Pterodactyl
Ann Buchanan: Art, thank you so much for all the work your crew has put into making this reunion so wonderful. And how did you get so many great bands to agree to play for us tonight? I mean, like wow, Freddy and The Dreamers, Jan and Dean, and how cool is Ringo and Paul playing with the remaining Beachboys. And how did you get Wolfman Jack to agree to MC? This is heaven.
Art Durazo: A lot of credit goes to the Alemany reunion committee for all of this. Claudia Haugh, Paula Heubner, Karen King and Monique Lussier have been working for months, and so many others have helped them. As for the super bands, well, you have to thank Peggy Jones for that. She seems to know everyone in the rock world.
Janice Canepa: Enough talk, Captain Durazo, may I have this dance?
At the entrance to the ballroom, sounds of Eddie Cochran singing Summertime Blues are heard:
Charlaine DePrez: (With tears running down her make-up.) I just can't believe that I am wearing the same dress as Chacha. I have to go change before somebody sees me.
Mary Dawn Hawthorne: Oh, poo honey, (in a good natured congenial way) you look lovely. But if you will feel better, go ahead and change, the night is young.
Sue Feely: I'll go with you to help.
On stage introducing the next band are Pat (Howling Coyote) Lucatorto, Melodianne (aka Sierra Mist) Shaw, and the one and only Wolfman Jack……..
Wolfman: Hey Alemany, are you feeling good?
Crowd response: Yes.
Crowd response: YAAAAAAA! (This time much louder).
Melodianne: All right then, let’s have everyone out on the dance floor for this next band.
Pat: In their first appearance together in 34 years, let's bring on John Sebastian and The Lovin' Spoonful. Pat gives his trademark coyote yip, Yiiiiiiiip-yiiip-yiiip-yaaaaooool. Owwww---oowww—ooww—oooooo The Wolfman howls in answer, Aaaaahooooooo! John Sebastian sings, "Did you ever have to finally decide to pick up on one and leave the other behind, it’s not often easy and not often kind…………"
Wolfman Jack: I hope you have enjoyed the show so far. I wanna thank you for inviting me to be here with y'all on this cruise, Alemany. We are going to take a break in the program now so you'se all can have your dinner. Sierra and the Coyote will be back up here with me in one hour, see you then. Aaaaaaaaahooooooooo!
Banquet Table 12
Pat Dolan: Man, this prime rib is terrific. And those clams were the best I have had since we broke shells with Pliny The Elder back in the Bay of Naples.
Kathy Gordon: The food is wonderful, but somehow the night isn't quite right without Chris Gilmore and Frank Bonaccorso here.
Greg Pokorski: Not to worry Kathy. I spoke with Al Shows just before dinner. He got a message over the ship's radio that Frank and Chris both have the approval of the docs at UCLA Medical Center to join the ship tomorrow evening when we put into Cabo.
Peg Gordon: Well, that is great news. I propose a toast to Chris and Frank, two survivors of the Cretaceous.
Banquet Table 7 (Reserved for Heads of State and VIP Guests)
Bob Guerrero: Governor Swartzenegger, are you sure I can't persuade you to endorse me for President.
Arnold: Bobby, now how would that look? You know I am a Republican. Actually, I am going to vote for you, and I have done you a big favor already. I have agreed to let both Teri Arteaga and Diane Muscolo leave my staff to work as your co-campaign chairs.
Jude Hawkes: Well, that is worth a couple million votes right there.
Diane: (Whispering to Teri very quietly.) How did you get Louie aboard? You know the Captain does not permit dogs aboard.
Teri: Why do you think that that big hat box I was carrying had air holes in it………(wink).
King Rex: I really should get down to the Cayman's this winter. The Royal Palace is so hard to heat.
Prime Minister John Thompson: Any time, Rex, just give the word.
Captain’s Table
George Duggan: (standing, whisper’s in captain’s ear.) We have searched the ship from keel to smokestack and we have not found any dog aboard, Sir.
Art Durazo: (Whispering) I know there is a dog aboard. Search the whole ship again.
Bob Orlando: Well now, Art, you did permit a llama and a lion to board the ship. Why no dogs allowed?
Art: I am allergic to dog hair. Besides, if I learned one thing from Father Carignan, rules are rules and must be obeyed. And we don't specifically have any rules about lions or llamas.
Peggy Jones: Nor pterodactyls, Art? (She said with a mischevious smile).
Band Stage:
Pat Lucatorto: Owwww---oowww—ooww—oooooo. This is the Coyote howling to let you know that you all better finÃsh your desert and coffee and get ready to dance.
Melodianne: But before we open up the dance floor we are going to have a spotlight dance exclusively for President Jude Hawkes. Since her husband is not here for the cruise, she can pick any Alemany boy she wants for the dance.
Patrick: While you are thinking for a moment, Jude, let me bring onto the stage our next performing artists. This group dates back a little bit before our days at Alemany, but their songs were still ever so popular at our dances when we were at school. They will do two songs for us, and the second will be the spotlight dance.
Wolfman: Ladies and Gentleman, The Platters singing, Smoke Gets In Your Eyes.
Jude: Will you excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.
I have to go find my dance partner. The President strolls among the tables shaking hands and hugging old friends and every Alemany boy she passes is disappointed that they aren't asked to dance. The Platters are almost finished with their first song when finally at the far side of the ballroom at Table 33, her eyes fall upon an old friend, affectionately known as CBJ.
Jude: Mr. Johnson, may I have the honor of this dance?
Bob: (Silent and stunned for a moment, he wipes his chin with his napkin. He looks around the table and then smiles, a slight shade of red coloring his face. He stands.)
I would be honored, Madame President.
The Hall is Silent as the ballroom darkens. Dim stage lights surround only the Platters. Dry ice is used below stage to create a foggy atmosphere. A ship’s bell is heard twice, Ding, Ding. And the Platters begin to sing, Harbor Lights. A white spotlight hits the center of the dance floor. The President and Beej walk into the spot and dance.
Table 17
Ponche Covarrubias: I enjoyed winning Dancing with Stars, but I would give that title up in a moment to have this dance.
Dan McMahon: And I’d give up caber tossing.
Al Vicuna: Cheer up fellas, there are a lot of other lovely ladies here.
Table 3
Judy Sickler: She dances so gracefully.
Adrienne Poirier: And B.J. is such a teddy bear.
Kathy Dunlay: I got dibs on Beej for the next dance.
Kathy lays claim to a dance with Bob Johnson.
Bob and Jude are enjoying their moment in the spotlight. He twirls and starts to lead Jude into a dip when...................
A shot is heard and the President screams. She is down on the floor and Beej reacts quickly by lying over her. The Secret Service is around the downed couple. More screams break out and someone yells, "Turn the damn lights on".
TO BE CONTINUED
Is President Hawkes dying?
Who fired the shot soon to be heard round the world?
How many illegal dogs are on the SS Pterodactyl?
Whatever happened to Kathryn Martin Rhamn and that zebra?
The Shadow Knows!!!!!!
And so will you if you read the next issue.
Love and peace from Da Batman.
Circa 1995 with giant Malaysian flying foxes in background, I am on left.
