January 19, 2007





Volume 9: The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As revealed by The Shadow
and with minor assistance from F.J. Bonaccorso

Subtitle: The Red Baron Flys Again




Mt Blanc, French Alps on a slope of 47.3 degrees!
Kit Figliozzi: Bob how are you feeling today, you look a little green?
Bob Johnson: I am not well, I have.....to go to the men's room, be right back.
Kit: Take your time. (Exit Bob. Enter the Michaelangelo and Rafael of Bobsled Design.)
Joe Dispenza: Hi Kit, biggest slope yet for our trials, ain't it awesome? Where's Bob, we are ready to go.
Kit: He will be back soon. What are you two eating?
Frank DePasquale: Second best meatball sandwich I ever had, Kit.
Kit: Oh.
Joe: I agree, this is good, but nobody does meat balls like Kit. We can't wait all day for Bob, meterology report from Lenny DiTrapani says a storm is coming in soon (light snow begins to fall).
Kit: Get the ski box ready and the putschers out here, I will go get Bob (she runs into the ski lodge)
(Mike and Steve Modugno come out ready to putsch and approach Prototype #40)
Bob: Suited up in a red helmet with his goggles already on runs out from the ski lodge.
Joe: There is your new ski box Bob, the new prototype! In honor of your old quest to fly, we dubbed her the Red Baron and she is the fastest thing on snow. Do you like her?
Bob: Nods head, slaps arms around body for warmth, and jumps in the Red Baron.
Mike: Hey Frankie, where are the putsch handles on this?
Frankie: The old style handles were too hard to handle for you guys, just get your pustcher grip from behind the wings.
Steve: No problem, I like it. Let's go do it Mikey. One, two, three, putsch!

Kit Figliozzi dressed as Bob Johnson in the Red Baron on Mt. Blanc.



And the Red Baron skied down the 47.3 degree slope leaving a trail of blinding snow flakes flying behind...... and did not even crash. Bob jumped out of the Red Baron and waved to the top of the slope giving the thumbs up sign.
Frank: Wow, great run.
Joe: And great putsch, you two are the best. The Baron is awesome. Bring on the Nepalese.
Mike: Can we head down to the restaurant now?
Steve: Come on, Bob and Kit will catch us later. They have chamois steaks today, I am craving a little red meat.
Bob: (Dismounts the Red Baron and walks path up to the ski lodge. Inside, Bob meets Bob? The crash helmet comes off to reveal, Kit in the racing uniform.)
Real Bob: Kit, what have you done?
Kit: Bob, you were sick today, I pinch hit for you.
Bob: Thanks, I guess. How did you do?
Kit: The Red Baron is fast, Bob. You are going to like this racing machine. If you feel better tomorrow, I can reserve the slope again. Wow, that was fun, you gotta let me ride some of the advanced prototype tests, you know when you need a rest or a day off.
Bob: Sure Kit, if you like it so much.
(Down at the restaurant the steaks are being served)
Joe: Wow, Bob rode her well today. He has had the wobbles the last few runs on prototype #39, but I guess he likes this racer.
Frank: I'll drink to that (all clank their beer steins). I have some ideas on how to get a little more speed, Joe. And we need more speed.
Joe: What makes you say that, the Baron is fast as a barracuda in school of sardines.
Frank: I got an email from the King of Sweden today, he is challenging us to a tune-up race on the Jungfrau.
Joe: The Jungfrau! The slopes there are almost as steep as the Matterhorn. We are not ready for the Jungfrau.
Frank: Rex set the date for one week from today. If we don't show up, we will never hear the end of it from the Swedes! We can't give them a psychological edge, we have to show, and we have to win.
Mike: Speaking of psychological edge, I need to head down to the airport. Our new sports psychologist is coming in today.
Frank and Joe and Steve: Huh? What sports psychologist?
Mike: The best, Dr. Ellie McConnaughy. With Ellie in our corner no need to be afraid of the Swedes, even if they do have that new Swedish Silver Bullet Volvo-hybrid that Rex has been bragging about.

NBC Studio at the Tonight Show:
Ed McMahon: Our next guests all represent the Dallas Cowboys, please welcome Quarterback Dave Gieg, Center Rick Borquez, and Head Cheerleader Sue Shannon to the tonight show. (Ponchie C. and the Flying Caballeros Band play Deep in the Heart of Texas).


Sue Shannon and Dave Gieg at pre-game interview.




Danny McMahon: Welcome, everyone. We might as well cut straight to the heart of the matter. Dallas lost to the Seahawks last week in a heartbreaker when Tony Romo dropped the hold on a field goal that would have advanced Dallas further into the playoffs. But even more important, Romo played almost the whole game at Quarterback. Dave, do you question the decision of the The Black Stetson, Coach Ken Matwickzak, not to play you more?
Dave: Absolutely not Danny. I was still suffering symptoms from the concussion sustained in the Bears game. Coach M knew that I was game to play for one drive and he did insert me for the final possession of the game when we drove down to the 2 yard line.
On 3rd down and a yard to go, Coach Phil Ahn sent in the Statue of Liberty Play, where I would fake a lateral to Terrel Owens, however, I could see that the Hawks defense had overloaded the side of the field to which I would attempt to run after the fake, so I was forced to check the play with a back running up the middle, and the whole world knows that did not quite work.
Ed: Yes, the run failed to get the first down, and the Romo miscue followed on 4th down. But you were marvelous in moving the team on that last drive to where it had the chance to win.
Rick Borquez: Let's also not forget that Dave gave the Cowboys a critical win against Da Bears that without question is the greatest single game performance in the history of football. And that game got us into the playoffs guys.
Dan: No argument there, that was an amazing game. Sue, what was it like to be back cheering on the sidelines for the Cowboys again, and for Dave Gieg.
Sue: Well, as you know I was a Cowgirl for 10 years and an Alemany cheerleader before that, then I moved on to other aspects of life. But with Dave and Rick back in uniform, I wanted to be there for them again. I can only thank the Cowboys for giving all of us one more chance in the spotlight.
Ed: What are the future plans for you three.
Dave: I will give it a lot of thought over the next month. I still have one more year left on the Dallas contract, but that concussion may have knocked a little sense into my old brain. There are some trade feelers from the 49ers that would bring me closer to home and the team I have spent most of my life rooting for. That is awfully attractive, especially now that I hear that Oscar Rivera, Jr., is making a bid to buy the San Francisco 49'ers. However, in the meantime, I have bought a little hacienda down in Baja California where I will enjoy a little peace with my family for the near future.
Sue: You call 10,000 acres a little spread?
Dave: By Texas standards, yes. Why Coach Matwiczak has 80,000 acres of pistachio nuts down near Austin.
Rick: Yeah, and Dave did not tell you that his land is an agave plantation and that all that agave gets made into Tequila.
Dan: Wow. So you will be a Tequila baron, Dave?
Dave: Sort of, yeah. Actually I am talking to the Fusano family about a joint venture diversifying their olive oil presses into agave presses and a distillery. Look out Bacardi, here comes Gieg's Gold Label! I also have Teri Arteaga coming down to the hacienda to teach me how to make those incredible tequila cookies, I can't seem to get through the recipe far enough to actually get to the baking part. Those are my immediate plans.
Ed: And Sue what will you be doing in the future.
Sue: I am leaving cheerleading behind, Ed. Doing the splits on the field is for the youngsters. As you know, I had screened for the part of Cat Woman with Spielberg, but did not get the part. I hope to get another part in a major movie soon.


Sue Shannon (2nd from front) doing her thing during Dallas-Seahawk game. Hey, there are two redheads on the Cowgirls squad!



Dan: And Rick, what is in your future?
Rick: Well, I kinda enjoyed opening holes in the defense and protecting for Senor Gieg. If he signs with the 49'ers, I might just have to go along. If not, maybe Dave can give me a job on the tequila plantation. I promise not to drink all of what we produce.
Ed: Thanks for being with us Sue, Rick and Dave. And now a word from our newest sponsor, the oil of a thousand uses, Fusano Olive Oil.....


Does your family deserve anything less than the best? Use the best, use Fusano.




Playboy Mansion Basement:
A banquet table is set for 11 people among the chemistry benches and the smoking, bubbling flasks. Present are Alan Shows, John Barreiro, Cha Cha Faitel, Chris Gilmore, Terry Mock , Greg Pokorski, Frank B., Bill Danaher, Art Fonseca, Pat Dolan, Tim Jordan
Terry: Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, but first let's have a toast to the Expedition. To success! And to Dr. Alan Shows, our nobel laureate.
Everyone: To success. To Dr. Alan Shows.
Greg: And now Frank why don't you do a little briefing about our destination and the animals we intend to bring back.
Frank: Well. Ahem. (Pause, he is at a loss for where to begin as he looks at all the anxious faces.) Maybe words would not explain it to these folks, Greg, why don't we just proceed to the demonstration.
Greg: Alright. Cha Cha would you bring Mona over here.
Cha Cha: (Opens a door on a cage and Mona the capuchin monkey leaps on to her shoulder.) Everyone, this is Mona. She is going on a little journey.
Terry: (Opens the curtains to the time machine, while Cha Cha fits a helmet with a mini-cam on the front.) Mona is going time-traveling, to 65 million years before present. (Gasps!) And her geographical destination is southern Texas. We will send her off now and by the time we finish eating, her mini-cam should have enough bytes stored to bring her back. We can view the film with our desserts and coffee.
(Cha Cha places Mona on the bathroom scale platform of the time machine. While everyone in the room is watching Mona and Cha Cha, a woman sneaks outs from behind drapes and leaves the basement unseen! Terry and Greg fidget with the controls. Lights blink, a whirring noise is heard. And then poof! Mona is gone!)
Alan: Ok, nice trick Greg and Terry and Cha Cha. I didn't know you were all into magic tricks.
Terry: This is no trick Alan, you will see the results after we dine. (Playmates bring steaming dishes into the banquet area.)
John: Ok, Frank, say this time machine really works, what are we going after?
Frank: We are going to the Cretaceous, to the limestone cliffs off southern Texas and Chris is going to climb the cliffs and steal us at least two pterodactyl chicks? And you are going to film it all John.
Chris: Whoopeeeeee! I am going to be more famous than that gorilla lady and Cat Woman too!

Palm Springs on the putting practice greens.
Bob Lendzion: Ok Tiger, line up the putt the way I showed you last time.
Tiger: Bob, I am not lying down on the green to sight the putt with your Dick Tracy sighting cross hairs. Now, can I putt alone for awhile.
Jay Pelzer: Tiger, how many times am I going to have to speak to you about following team methods. Bob has used this method since he was the runner-up in CIF Sectional championships in '65. Please give it a chance for the team.
Tiger: (Takes a deep sigh.) Alright, I will try it once more, but where are Bill Merriken and Ron West today?
Jay: I gave them the day off. They do not have quite the trouble you seem to have with putting technique.

Buckingham Palace, England.
Guy Proto: And so Your Majesty, if you should need any polo players I did ride a horse once and basically it is just like croquet anyway and......
Queen Elizabeth II: Rise Sir Guy and Sir John. (The queens removes the gleaming sword from Guy's shoulder and hands it back to her butler).
John Preble: Thank you your majesty, we better get off now, the Ryder Cup is not that far off and Colin Montgomery, Sergio, and Seve are waiting to practice with us.
(As John and Guy leave the hall, The Queen whispers to Prince Charles): I do hope King Rex of Sweden has not made a mistake in recommending those two for knighthood! Rex exaggerates a bit, the over-optimist on just about every subject known to the human race. Still if it keeps the Ryder Cup away from the colonies for another year.....





Britain's Queen Elizabeth stands with Sir Guy Proto after presenting him with a knighthood at Buckingham Palace, London, January 12, 2007. (Photo by AP cameraman, D. McMahon)



Las Vegas.


Oddsmaker Chuck Abel sets odds of victory favoring the Preble-led European Team at 3:1 over the underdog USA Team led by Pelzer. The USA was favored until it was discovered that Tiger Woods has lost all putting form.


Queen Liz provides RAF jet and sends Sir John Preble off to practice with pomp and ceremony.




The Walrus Workout
The San Diego Plain Truth Dealer, Ruth Snell reporting.
Seaworld, San Diego. January 9, 2007

It is well known that Americans are trying to get in shape by better diet and exercise to live longer lives, and so is one of Seaworld's beloved but beefier residents. Seahook the Walrus is overweight. Seaworld has the lumbering and popular walrus on an exercise regimen doing push ups, crunches, and backflips with his personal fitness coaches, Connie Sternadel and Bob Riske.
Sternadel and Riske are renowned trainers of animal stars the world over and include Bart the Bear, Lassie, and Godzilla among their clients. Recently, Connie has been in Alaska helping Cecil the Giant Squid to do chin ups and back-flips, while Bob has remained in southern California to intensify the program with Seahook. Says owner, Ann Turner Olsen, Cecil just has not been the same since appearing on the Dick Carvotta Show. He has been in a blue funk. I think he became very attached to Carvotta during their brief interaction. He has been gaining weight and not swimming much, so I brought in Connie to motivate and train Cecil. Connie has Cecil feeling the zest for life again, in fact we had to pull Cecil out of a fairly nasty fight with an orca whale yesterday.


Seahook working out with trainer, Bob Riske, while Connie Sternadel is in Alaska.


Once again, this series is not possible without the generous assistance of Robert Johnson and Dan McMahon. Any errors of fact (unlikely) or comments can be sent to bonafrank@yahoo.com Watch out, you could be in Volume 10.

January 17, 2007

AFTERMATH - REFLECTIONS ON OUR 40TH REUNION


AFTERMATH - REFLECTIONS ON OUR 40TH REUNION

Dear All,

Peggy Jones called her reflections on the reunion "Afterglow," which tickled the heck out of me. I'll call mine "Aftermath" in honor of one of those great 1960's Rolling Stones albums (AKA LP's) of the same name.

It was a pleasure and an honor being at the hub of the wheel for our 40th Reunion. We knew our Reunion would be good, but we had no idea it would be THAT good. I was thrilled when it took on a life of its own ... Charmaine organized the lunch for "the girls" the day before the Reunion ... Ron West organized the Alemany Golf Classic ... somebody who shall remain nameless (Jan Zemba Wilkes) organized the Friday night pre-reunion get together at The Odyssey ... the Post-Reunion party at El Presidente and the Sunday morning brunch at The Odyssey happened ... You picked up on the websites and submitted great pictures and blogs and HILARIOUS comments under the various "posts" ...

I wasn't much of a jock at Alemany (somebody had to keep the bench warm), but I felt like the Quarterback for the 40th reunion. I'd get an idea hand it off and you all took the ball and ran, while I stood there in the backfield and gleefully watched you score. I think I know how Gieg felt on the football field behind Alemany.

One of the things of which I'm most proud is using email to keep in touch with everyone. This truly was The Cyber Reunion, to paraphrase Kerry Beaulieu's comment about Paula Carabelli's Cyber Wake. I was also very proud of my idea to pass out the class email addresses to everyone. That was a pass that you all caught and ran with, that resulted in TOUCHDOWN AFTER TOUCHDOWN. I was thrilled when you got in touch with old friends and teachers long before the reunion, and started encouraging each other to come. So many times I heard, "I wasn't going to come, but my dear friend badgered me into coming. I'm SO glad they did."

As you probably figured out, I just love Bob's Big Boy and how it relates to our class. I manage to find a Bob's somewhere and get my Big Boy Combo fix about once a year. I wanted to include "Bob's" in our reunion theme because it was our hangout when we were at Alemany. I put Bob's on the Flickr.com picture site and you all went with it, just like I hoped. Renee (Olsen) Laurent had an old Bob's menu and scanned it and sent it in to us. WOW. Mary Ganssle sent in a picture with her and Bob together. LOL. It was great.

I got an idea to put a Bob's Big Boy Statue in the centerpiece at each table, but the centerpieces had already been planned and "Bob" didn't fit in.

Plan B was to give out awards at the Reunion, and give each award recipient a Bob's Big Boy Statue (actually just a bank, but don't tell the recipients). I had to get Bob in there somewhere. So that's what we went with .

I had to go to Santa Paula for a baptism about a month prior to the Reunion, and went to the Bob's Big Boy Express (a "fast food" Bob's if you can believe it) there to get my Big Boy Combo and pick up ten banks. That was the day that this picture was taken ...

The awards were going to be given for things like "Who traveled the farthest" and "Who had the most grandkids," etc. They were scheduled right after the Slide Show, but in my infinite wisdom I didn't anticipate that when the "credits rolled" at the end of the Slide Show that everyone would scatter, just like they do when they go to the movies. So I was left holding the bag (of ten beautiful Big Boy awards).

So a Plan C emerged. The Bob's banks became Thank You Gifts and acknowledgements of contributions to the success of the Reunion, which was probably a lot better anyhow. I started giving out the banks later in the evening. Here is one of the first proud recipients ...

Charmaine's award was given ostensibly for giving me the idea to create the AHS-66 blog site (I copied her blog site, truth be told). Actually, she got it just because I liked her and because she is such a kick and inspiration and artist. I didn't know Charmaine prior to the 40th Reunion preparations.

Over the course of the weekend I passed out all the banks to various classmates. When I got home I kept thinking of other people who should rightfully receive awards. I knew I had to get more banks. I went to Bob's Toluca Lake but they were sold out. Boo. I ended up going on the Internet and finding them at http://www.bigboy.com. We bought over 20 banks in all.

Then I realized that there should be a certificate given with Big Boy award to make it official and properly ceremonial, and this certificate emerged ...

So we hereby proudly present you with the list of esteemed recipients of the AHS-66 40th Reunion Certificates of Appreciation and Big Boy Awards:

TERI (ARTEAGA) ROMERO

"For wonderful reunion photos, kindness and support"

JOHN BARREIRO

"An incredible Committee Member and friend"

CHRISTINE (BELLE) MONROE

"Slide Show Historian and Faithful Friend"

> Chris was part of the 10th Reunion Slide Show team

FRANK BONACCORSO

"For being The Batman"

> and later for helping The Shadow in his prognostications

COURTNEY BOWLES

"For the wonderful music at our Reunion Mass"

> You'll hear Courtney's Ave Maria on the DVD

CHRISTI (BRECHT) AND GARY MOORE

"For photographs, kindness and friendship"

> Gary has provided us with over 800 photos from the original slide show, and from the 10th, 30th and 40th reunions

> Christi and Gary were part of the original 10th Reunion Slide Show team

MAUREEN COSCIA (MRS. RICHARD COSCIA)

"For invaluable help locating missing classmates"

> and for cajoling Ed Bertell and countless others into coming to the Reunion

FRANK DIAZ

"For making our Reunion Mass so special"

> Frank was The Producer of the 40th Reunion Mass and made all the arrangements and got everyone together

> He also created and printed the program for the Mass (I think we still owe him for paying for the printing of the programs, girls)

MARY (GANSSLE) JOHNSON

"For humor, and tenacity in finding lost classmates"

> Mary found Kathi Gibson using sheer tenacity; for that effort alone she deserves an award

> and for 40 years of glamour

CHARMAINE (HALEY) COIMBRA

"For being our Mother Blogger, Inspiration and Friend"

> Charmaine's Blog was the inspiration for our blog

PAMELA (HARDING) CARDILLO

"An incredible committee member and friend"

> Pamela contributed much in the planning stage of the Reunion

> she got us onto the Warner Brothers lot to find props and decorations for the Reunion (I REALLY enjoyed that - Thanks, Pamela)

CLAUDIA (HAUGH) STEPAN

"An incredible committee member and friend"

> Claudia received all the RSVP's and is our Treasurer

> Claudia, Penny, Monique, & Karen are the ones who created the wonderful event at The Odyssey, and did the invitations, bulletin boards, center pieces, got the DJ & photographer, etc., etc. etc.

PAULA (HUEBNER) MCHALE

"For Reunion Printing, Kindness and Support"

> Paula did our Reunion printing, and did it at cost or didn't charge us

ROBERT MAGNUS JOHNSON

"For work above and beyond the call of duty"

> and for coining the term "Sub-Committee on the Media"

> Robert joined "The Team" and the "Sub-Committee on the Media" late in the game and completed the Reunion Book and became the editor of our websites

> He has contributed untold hours to "the cause" and to the DVD

KAREN KING

"An incredible committee member and friend"

> Karen created the program for the Reunion, among her many other duties

BRAD KOPP

"For coming all the way from Germany for the Reunion"

> and for talking Bob Cosgrove into coming to the Reunion

MONIQUE (LUSSIER) PADBERG

"An incredible committee member and friend"

ELLIE MCCONNAUGHY

"For being a kindred spirit and good friend from Our Lady of Peace School"

> Ellie traveled from Massachusetts for the Reunion

PENNY (MERTENS) LAPREZIOSA

"An incredible committee member and friend"

MARTIN D. MOLIDOR

"For work above and beyond the call of duty"

> It was Marty's idea to convert the 10th Reunion Slide Show into a DVD so everyone could have a copy

> Marty has contributed untold hours to "the cause" and to the DVD

BOBBIE (MOSHER) NOREEN

"For enthusiasm and for the wonderful Flower Drum Song photos"

> When we received the scans of Bobbie's "Flower Drum Song" prints we were moved beyond words because they were such wonderful photos and so clear

BARB (NAPOLEONE) HULL

"For invaluable help locating missing classmates"

JAY PELZER

"Monarch Master of Mischief and Mirth"


Thanks to everyone. It's been a wonderful experience.

Love,

Danny McMahon

January 15, 2007

Volume 8: The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As revealed by The Shadow

and with minor assistance from F.J. Bonaccorso

Subtitle: The SS Pterodactyl Ready to Cruise

Sports Exclusive.
Bend It LA - Like Beckham and Have Your Coffey Too!

Frank Del Olmo, Shadow Sportswriter, Heavenly Newspapers 2007-01-11

The Los Angeles Galaxy announced today that they had signed English soccer great David Beckham to play in Los Angeles. Never mind his soccer salary, the man who married a Spice Girl has a predicted $250,000,000 in endorsements about to come his way in the city of the Angels. Even before the news conference ended, however, the Galaxy had a second new player to be announced. This one is arguably the best in goal player since forever. Maurice J. (Jim) Coffey known as The "Rejector" for his ability to reject nearly every ball that comes near goal, was signed to a four year contract. Asked if he had any endorsements lined up, The Rejector, stated that he would be representing Marty's Super-duper Sock-it-to-me Sockerooni Sauce for something in the seven figure region and also has a possible endorsement with a new line of Tequila soon to debut on the market. Get ready for Coffey with your Beckham LA, was the slogan of elated Galaxy Coach Rich Minguela.

Newberry Park, California:
Claudia Haugh: (tea cup in hand). So Monique, how are the bookings going for the Alemany Cruise?
Monique Lussier
: Wonderful. We have 203 Alemany grads that have sent in deposits. How odd that almost everyone says that their spouse has to visit their parents that weekend!
Claudia: Yeah, all the guys want to be seated at the table with Kathi Gibson and all the girls want to be seated at the table with
Bob Johnson. Of course if we can ever talk Bob Orlando into coming that would take some of the seating pressure off RJ's table.
Claudia: I saw Bob on the set of Batman yesterday. He says he won't come, he gets seasick. (giggles). Little does Bob O. know that Bob J. gets seasick too.
Monique: Then I hope they have big tables and lots of barf bags on the SS Pterodactyl cause everyone wants to be at Bob J.'s side.
Claudia: The SS what?
Monique: The SS Pterodactyl. That's the new name of the ship. I bought the Latvian dictionary that you kept forgetting to buy.
Claudia: How could anybody with sense name a cruise ship after an ugly dinosaur.
Monique: Actually, pterodactyls are not dinosaurs, they are Pterosaurs a contemporary but separate lineage to dinosaurs.
Claudia: Monique! Where did you learn all that?
Monique: From Frankie Joe Bonaccorso when he booked his reservation on the cruise. He seemed to go into hysterical laughing fits when I told him the name of the ship and he said how appropriate it was as a name. He said, almost no one from Alemany would understand right now, but that was the most appropriate name possible for the cruise ship.
Claudia: Bizarre. That is weird, even for Frank.
Monique: Not as weird as the reaction I got from Terry Mock.
Claudia: What did Terry say?
Monique: He didn't say anything for a long time. I thought we were disconnected. And then he said in a scary tone, how did you find out about the Pterodactyls, Monique? Then he hung up.
Claudia: Go figure.


In a small aircraft approaching Bend, Oregon.
Frank: And so Tim that is as much as I can tell you now, but you were always up for adventure when we were undergrads. Remember those trips to the Mojave Desert and the Great Basin to trap packrats for my UCLA senior thesis?
Dr. Tim Jordan
: (flying plane) We did have a lot of fun in those days. When we drove across the Nevada border where there were no speed limits, you took your Dodge Dart with that push button transmission on the dashboard up to 110 mph. I thought that crate was going to fall apart. I know you are not telling me everything, but tell you what. If Bill Danaher comes on board, then I will too.
Frank: Bill will go with us, he just needs a little convincing and we must persuade Annie he will be safe with us. Once we convince Bill to come, we go to work on Dave Nehen and Pat Dolan. Art Fonseca will be tougher to convince, he has never been on a wilderness field trip with us before. Anyway, looks like your airstrip over there.

Graceland:
Maggie Calaba: Why Danny McMahon! What ever are you doing here at Graceland?
(Maggie lifts sunglasses and waits for Danny to recognize her.)
Danny: Maggie, what a pleasant surprise to see you at
Graceland. Uhh, I am a big fan of the departed King. Just passing through Memphis. The Nuns were recording in Nashville and I took a detour after seeing them.
Maggie: Do you miss the Nuns, they were such a fun group?
Danny: Yes, I do miss them. Well, did you know that Bobbie Mosher is the Official Greeter and Social Director here at
Graceland?
Maggie: No, I had no idea. I might have to drop by her office and say hello.
Danny: Don't bother, I have been trying to see her all day, but her executive secretary keeps giving me the brush off. I don't understand it. Anyway, nice seeing you, I have to be leaving. Bye.

Arthur Murray Dance Studio, Hollywood.
Jenifer Lopez (J-Lo): Hi Ron, you are on time today.
Ron Turkal
: Well the Lancaster bus is always on time, but not necessarily so the LAX buses. Say J-Lo, I am not sure that this is working. Maybe we should forget the whole thing.
J-Lo: Nonsense Ron, you have made great improvements since the first lesson. Why at first you were all left feet, all three of them. But you are progressing faster than Ron Springer and look how far he got.
Ron: Well, ok. What is our dance of the day?
J-Lo: Tango and then we can review the Chachacha. Maestro, musica! (Willie Melendres and his band, Muy Peligroso, strike up the music for J-Lo and Ron)

Small aircraft approaching runway at Van Nuys airstrip.
Dave Nehen: Man, it's good to all be together again. Thanks for including me on your field expedition Frank. And you say Art Fonseca, John Barreiro and Alan Shows will meet us later today.
Frank: Yes, Dave. I didn't want to spoil the surprise, but I guess I can tell you guys now that I arranged a meal for all of us at the
Playboy Mansion.
Bill Danaher
: Way to go Frank, do we get to meet Hef.
Tim Jordan
: (letting landing gear down) Who cares about Hef, do we get to meet the other inmates.
Dale (Pat) Dolen
: (voice from way back in cargo bay behind last seat). Are we there yet, I'm hungry and my legs are getting cramped.
Frank: Well, I can promise that you will see Cha Cha Faitel and
Chris Gilmore there and other old friends who are hosting us at the Mansion. A mini-Alemany reunion, and most of us went to St. Ferdinand's too. Hang on Pat, we are about to land.

I-Hop in Irvine, CA.
Sandy Meddock: Oh, by the way dear, I forgot to give you the mail (handing him two letters as they enjoy strawberry and whip cream smothered waffles)
Ken Meddock: I have been waiting for this one! Its from Stratton Laboratories, Tom Stratton may have a carbon dating on the Ark fragments. (He rips open the letter and reads and a big frown comes over his face). It seems the fragments I found are dated as being 52 years old. (Big Sigh!) It's not the ark.
Sandy: Better luck next time honey. What's the second letter about?
Ken: It's from Pelzer (opens letter and reads). Well, one-horned flying purple people eaters! Jay Pelzer is inviting me as an alternate on the Ryder Cup team. He wants me to come to training camp at
Palm Springs immediately. He says Tiger Woods is a detriment to the team and I should be ready to help the team. He also sent a photo of himself in the team uniform. Oh my, have a look at this, dear.


Jay Pelzer modeling his knickers for the US Ryder Team.
Maybe Jay plans to travel in the time machine before teeing off?

Driving Down Sepulveda Blvd, Van Nuys.
Wally Ernsdorf: Well chief, you sure did win a pile of money by betting on the Seahawks. What is the total holdings now?
Oscar Rivera
: We just passed one billion dollars, Wally. How did you do betting the pocket change I gave you.
Wally: Uh, I bet on
Dallas. I thought with Gieg cleared to play, they would be a cinch against the Seahawks. Could I have an advance on a bit more of my share, Oscar?
Oscar: A small advance Wally. Why don't you stop betting, you have not won a single pot since you came to work for me. Let me do the winning for both of us. Turn in the next alley on the right, this is where the poker game is.
Wally: Can I play or will this be high stakes?
Oscar: You watch. Tonight I play Bill Gates, Donald Trump, and Rupert Murdock. And be sure and have Wally Franklin and the Brinks truck ready at
midnight here in the alley......

The Today Show Live Broadcast in Times Square.
Chris Fusano: Good morning. And thank you for joining us again. In a moment we will have the Piano Man, Billy Joel, serenading the crowd here. But first over to Lenore with our first guest, Stephen Spielberg.
Lenore Fusano
: Welcome Stephen. How is the filming of The Dark Side of Batman going?
Spielberg: We are ahead of production schedule, Lenore. Aside from
Bob Orlando rolling the bat mobile on Dead Man's Curve, all is going well.
Lenore: Oh my gosh, is Bob alright? I'm sitting at his table on the Alemany Cruise, you know. It took me ages to convince Bob he has to be on the cruise.
Spielberg: He's fine. Some minor cuts and his eyebrows were singed, nothing more. Kathi Gibson was at the wreck in flash and hauled Bob out of the flames just before it exploded. She could not have gotten him out in time if she had not been wearing her titanium claws to shred the door. Fortunately, my head cameraman, Bill Farnsworth, had his camera rolling and we got it all on film. We plan to use the scene in the film.
Lenore: Lucky Cat Woman was there for Batman. And there you have it. And now what's happening with the weather, Michael Feehan?
Mike: Well Lenore and
Chris, another snow storm is headed to Washington State and Hawaii has had ten days of continuous rain, but the eastern seaboard should enjoy mild temperatures through the weekend, but by then the Good Morning America crew will be in Switzerland to cover the upcoming time trial challenge between Sweden and the USA in the Ski Box Derby at the Jungfrau. Are you all packed Chris and Lenore?


The Dick Carvotta Show
Dick: Our next guest is the woman who has become the psychologist to the stars, Dr. Barb. She has a new book out called "Analyze This". Here's Dr. Barb.
Barb: (Walks on stage to the music of I'm Telling You Now from Freddy and The Dreamers fame played to a salsa beat by Willie Melendres and his band Muy Peligroso).
Dick: Thank you Willie, I believe you know Barb (they float kisses to each other). Hello Barb. So like the song title, what do you have to tell.
Barb: One of my biggest cases right now is dealing with the depression of the whole city of
Dallas after the Romo Rollover against the Hawks, Dick.
Dick: I can see why
Dallas is depressed, the ending of that game was one of the biggest chokes I have ever seen in my life. How is coach Matwiczak taking it.
Barb: Mentally he is strong and handling it well, but he has a case of indigestion. Seems he made a bet with Jay Pelzer that if
Dallas did not win, he would eat his hat!
Dick: All ten gallons! Wow. Hey after this commercial break, I have more questions for you like what is happening with your mediation of the Don Trump-Rosie O'Donnell feud? And how is Arnie Schwarzenegger handling his Tequila cookie addiction?