Volume 8: The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As revealed by The Shadow

and with minor assistance from F.J. Bonaccorso

Subtitle: The SS Pterodactyl Ready to Cruise

Sports Exclusive.
Bend It LA - Like Beckham and Have Your Coffey Too!

Frank Del Olmo, Shadow Sportswriter, Heavenly Newspapers 2007-01-11

The Los Angeles Galaxy announced today that they had signed English soccer great David Beckham to play in Los Angeles. Never mind his soccer salary, the man who married a Spice Girl has a predicted $250,000,000 in endorsements about to come his way in the city of the Angels. Even before the news conference ended, however, the Galaxy had a second new player to be announced. This one is arguably the best in goal player since forever. Maurice J. (Jim) Coffey known as The "Rejector" for his ability to reject nearly every ball that comes near goal, was signed to a four year contract. Asked if he had any endorsements lined up, The Rejector, stated that he would be representing Marty's Super-duper Sock-it-to-me Sockerooni Sauce for something in the seven figure region and also has a possible endorsement with a new line of Tequila soon to debut on the market. Get ready for Coffey with your Beckham LA, was the slogan of elated Galaxy Coach Rich Minguela.

Newberry Park, California:
Claudia Haugh: (tea cup in hand). So Monique, how are the bookings going for the Alemany Cruise?
Monique Lussier: Wonderful. We have 203 Alemany grads that have sent in deposits. How odd that almost everyone says that their spouse has to visit their parents that weekend!
Claudia: Yeah, all the guys want to be seated at the table with Kathi Gibson and all the girls want to be seated at the table with Bob Johnson. Of course if we can ever talk Bob Orlando into coming that would take some of the seating pressure off RJ's table.
Claudia: I saw Bob on the set of Batman yesterday. He says he won't come, he gets seasick. (giggles). Little does Bob O. know that Bob J. gets seasick too.
Monique: Then I hope they have big tables and lots of barf bags on the SS Pterodactyl cause everyone wants to be at Bob J.'s side.
Claudia: The SS what?
Monique: The SS Pterodactyl. That's the new name of the ship. I bought the Latvian dictionary that you kept forgetting to buy.
Claudia: How could anybody with sense name a cruise ship after an ugly dinosaur.
Monique: Actually, pterodactyls are not dinosaurs, they are Pterosaurs a contemporary but separate lineage to dinosaurs.
Claudia: Monique! Where did you learn all that?
Monique: From Frankie Joe Bonaccorso when he booked his reservation on the cruise. He seemed to go into hysterical laughing fits when I told him the name of the ship and he said how appropriate it was as a name. He said, almost no one from Alemany would understand right now, but that was the most appropriate name possible for the cruise ship.
Claudia: Bizarre. That is weird, even for Frank.
Monique: Not as weird as the reaction I got from Terry Mock.
Claudia: What did Terry say?
Monique: He didn't say anything for a long time. I thought we were disconnected. And then he said in a scary tone, how did you find out about the Pterodactyls, Monique? Then he hung up.
Claudia: Go figure.

In a small aircraft approaching Bend, Oregon.
Frank: And so Tim that is as much as I can tell you now, but you were always up for adventure when we were undergrads. Remember those trips to the Mojave Desert and the Great Basin to trap packrats for my UCLA senior thesis?
Dr. Tim Jordan: (flying plane) We did have a lot of fun in those days. When we drove across the Nevada border where there were no speed limits, you took your Dodge Dart with that push button transmission on the dashboard up to 110 mph. I thought that crate was going to fall apart. I know you are not telling me everything, but tell you what. If Bill Danaher comes on board, then I will too.
Frank: Bill will go with us, he just needs a little convincing and we must persuade Annie he will be safe with us. Once we convince Bill to come, we go to work on Dave Nehen and Pat Dolan. Art Fonseca will be tougher to convince, he has never been on a wilderness field trip with us before. Anyway, looks like your airstrip over there.

Graceland:
Maggie Calaba: Why Danny McMahon! What ever are you doing here at Graceland?
(Maggie lifts sunglasses and waits for Danny to recognize her.)
Danny: Maggie, what a pleasant surprise to see you at Graceland. Uhh, I am a big fan of the departed King. Just passing through Memphis. The Nuns were recording in Nashville and I took a detour after seeing them.
Maggie: Do you miss the Nuns, they were such a fun group?
Danny: Yes, I do miss them. Well, did you know that Bobbie Mosher is the Official Greeter and Social Director here at Graceland?
Maggie: No, I had no idea. I might have to drop by her office and say hello.
Danny: Don't bother, I have been trying to see her all day, but her executive secretary keeps giving me the brush off. I don't understand it. Anyway, nice seeing you, I have to be leaving. Bye.

Arthur Murray Dance Studio, Hollywood.
Jenifer Lopez (J-Lo): Hi Ron, you are on time today.
Ron Turkal: Well the Lancaster bus is always on time, but not necessarily so the LAX buses. Say J-Lo, I am not sure that this is working. Maybe we should forget the whole thing.
J-Lo: Nonsense Ron, you have made great improvements since the first lesson. Why at first you were all left feet, all three of them. But you are progressing faster than Ron Springer and look how far he got.
Ron: Well, ok. What is our dance of the day?
J-Lo: Tango and then we can review the Chachacha. Maestro, musica! (Willie Melendres and his band, Muy Peligroso, strike up the music for J-Lo and Ron)

Small aircraft approaching runway at Van Nuys airstrip.
Dave Nehen: Man, it's good to all be together again. Thanks for including me on your field expedition Frank. And you say Art Fonseca, John Barreiro and Alan Shows will meet us later today.
Frank: Yes, Dave. I didn't want to spoil the surprise, but I guess I can tell you guys now that I arranged a meal for all of us at the Playboy Mansion.
Bill Danaher: Way to go Frank, do we get to meet Hef.
Tim Jordan: (letting landing gear down) Who cares about Hef, do we get to meet the other inmates.
Dale (Pat) Dolen: (voice from way back in cargo bay behind last seat). Are we there yet, I'm hungry and my legs are getting cramped.
Frank: Well, I can promise that you will see Cha Cha Faitel and Chris Gilmore there and other old friends who are hosting us at the Mansion. A mini-Alemany reunion, and most of us went to St. Ferdinand's too. Hang on Pat, we are about to land.

I-Hop in Irvine, CA.
Sandy Meddock: Oh, by the way dear, I forgot to give you the mail (handing him two letters as they enjoy strawberry and whip cream smothered waffles)
Ken Meddock: I have been waiting for this one! Its from Stratton Laboratories, Tom Stratton may have a carbon dating on the Ark fragments. (He rips open the letter and reads and a big frown comes over his face). It seems the fragments I found are dated as being 52 years old. (Big Sigh!) It's not the ark.
Sandy: Better luck next time honey. What's the second letter about?
Ken: It's from Pelzer (opens letter and reads). Well, one-horned flying purple people eaters! Jay Pelzer is inviting me as an alternate on the Ryder Cup team. He wants me to come to training camp at Palm Springs immediately. He says Tiger Woods is a detriment to the team and I should be ready to help the team. He also sent a photo of himself in the team uniform. Oh my, have a look at this, dear.

Jay Pelzer modeling his knickers for the US Ryder Team.
Maybe Jay plans to travel in the time machine before teeing off?

Driving Down Sepulveda Blvd, Van Nuys.
Wally Ernsdorf: Well chief, you sure did win a pile of money by betting on the Seahawks. What is the total holdings now?
Oscar Rivera: We just passed one billion dollars, Wally. How did you do betting the pocket change I gave you.
Wally: Uh, I bet on Dallas. I thought with Gieg cleared to play, they would be a cinch against the Seahawks. Could I have an advance on a bit more of my share, Oscar?
Oscar: A small advance Wally. Why don't you stop betting, you have not won a single pot since you came to work for me. Let me do the winning for both of us. Turn in the next alley on the right, this is where the poker game is.
Wally: Can I play or will this be high stakes?
Oscar: You watch. Tonight I play Bill Gates, Donald Trump, and Rupert Murdock. And be sure and have Wally Franklin and the Brinks truck ready at midnight here in the alley......

The Today Show Live Broadcast in Times Square.
Chris Fusano: Good morning. And thank you for joining us again. In a moment we will have the Piano Man, Billy Joel, serenading the crowd here. But first over to Lenore with our first guest, Stephen Spielberg.
Lenore Fusano: Welcome Stephen. How is the filming of The Dark Side of Batman going?
Spielberg: We are ahead of production schedule, Lenore. Aside from Bob Orlando rolling the bat mobile on Dead Man's Curve, all is going well.
Lenore: Oh my gosh, is Bob alright? I'm sitting at his table on the Alemany Cruise, you know. It took me ages to convince Bob he has to be on the cruise.
Spielberg: He's fine. Some minor cuts and his eyebrows were singed, nothing more. Kathi Gibson was at the wreck in flash and hauled Bob out of the flames just before it exploded. She could not have gotten him out in time if she had not been wearing her titanium claws to shred the door. Fortunately, my head cameraman, Bill Farnsworth, had his camera rolling and we got it all on film. We plan to use the scene in the film.
Lenore: Lucky Cat Woman was there for Batman. And there you have it. And now what's happening with the weather, Michael Feehan?
Mike: Well Lenore and Chris, another snow storm is headed to Washington State and Hawaii has had ten days of continuous rain, but the eastern seaboard should enjoy mild temperatures through the weekend, but by then the Good Morning America crew will be in Switzerland to cover the upcoming time trial challenge between Sweden and the USA in the Ski Box Derby at the Jungfrau. Are you all packed Chris and Lenore?

The Dick Carvotta Show
Dick: Our next guest is the woman who has become the psychologist to the stars, Dr. Barb. She has a new book out called "Analyze This". Here's Dr. Barb.
Barb: (Walks on stage to the music of I'm Telling You Now from Freddy and The Dreamers fame played to a salsa beat by Willie Melendres and his band Muy Peligroso).
Dick: Thank you Willie, I believe you know Barb (they float kisses to each other). Hello Barb. So like the song title, what do you have to tell.
Barb: One of my biggest cases right now is dealing with the depression of the whole city of Dallas after the Romo Rollover against the Hawks, Dick.
Dick: I can see why Dallas is depressed, the ending of that game was one of the biggest chokes I have ever seen in my life. How is coach Matwiczak taking it.
Barb: Mentally he is strong and handling it well, but he has a case of indigestion. Seems he made a bet with Jay Pelzer that if Dallas did not win, he would eat his hat!
Dick: All ten gallons! Wow. Hey after this commercial break, I have more questions for you like what is happening with your mediation of the Don Trump-Rosie O'Donnell feud? And how is Arnie Schwarzenegger handling his Tequila cookie addiction?