Volume 7: The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As revealed by The Shadow
and with minor assistance from F.J. Bonaccorso

Subtitle: Elvis on the Moon!

Santa Anita Racetrack:
Oscar Rivera: Hey, Wally, the 7th race is about to begin.
Wally Franklin: Here are your betting stubs, I put it all on #11 Bilbo Baggins to win like you said. Who is riding this horse?
Oscar: A great jockey, Michael Bateson, going for his 1,000th Victory ride.
Annoucer Jacob Aguirre: And they're off. It's Rice-a-roni ridden by Sue Acton in the lead followed by Bilbo Baggins.
Oscar: Did you instruct the Brinks car to be waiting outside, Wally?
Wally: Brinks is standing by waiting to carry your cash.
Announcer: Around the first turn, Sand Dollar ridden by Julie Waters by half a length and bringing up the rear, Bilbo Baggins.
Wally: Ugh, I can't watch. You have a lot riding on this race, Oscar.
Oscar: There is a long way to go. Who did you bet on?
Wally: I bet on Richard Coscia aboard Lofty Dreams. Had a hunch.
Oscar: Wally, never bet a hunch.
Jacob: Coming up the backstretch, Rice-a-roni by two lengths, moving up, Bilbo Baggins.
Oscar: After the race we have to get to the 7 Eleven to buy lottery tickets before closing time.
Wally: Gottcha, boss.
Oscar: There goes Bateson making his move off the last turn.
Jacob: Rice-a-roni leading Sand Dollar by a nose. Here comes Bilbo Baggins on the outside. And it's Bilbo Baggins by half a nostril for the win.
Oscar: I will go collect. Give this present to Mike Bateson. (Hands Wally ten $100 bills)
At the collection window: Oscar with Brinks uniformed men, Donald Zontine and James Zerega, are pushing away cartloads of money bags toward the Brinks truck.)
Oscar: (On cell phone) Your information was correct. Our net worth is now $300 million. What was the number for the lottery, Wally and I are on the way to 7 Eleven?

Graceland, Memphis, Tennessee:
Elvis: Now, Bobbie darling. I am not going to blow my cover. People have thought I have been dead for decades and I am not coming out.
Bobbie Mosher Noreen: But Elvis, this is ridiculous. The whole world loves you. Why not come out and do it right here at Graceland. You can live here again, this is your home. Why, I could get Dick Carvotta to telecast live from Graceland. Think how grand it could be.
Elvis: No. And in this case, no means no!
Bobbie: If you don't, I will tell about you being on the moon in '63 with Jay.
Elvis: No one will believe you so go ahead.
Bobbie: Jay gave me a photo he took from the window of you hitting that golf ball. It steams me that he took credit for it right in front of Ed McMahon and the whole world and even those two poor astronauts.
Elvis: Well, he was there.
Bobbie: Yeah, sick as a pig from motion sickness back in the moon lander. Why, I could have invented a better space ship than Pokorski and Mock did for that trip. Besides, Jay never did walk on the moon, he never left the lander craft. You painted his name on the rock, you collected the moon rocks, you hit the damn golf ball, Elvis. Even Dr. Barb recognizes that Jay is an underachiever.
Elvis: Whoa, right there. Jay, has a lot of great qualities. He is captain of the USA Ryder Team, and he is our friend, and nobody is going to take away his moon glory. He had a lot of courage to go up in that slipshod space craft.
Bobbie: Yes, he has courage. And yes he did go to the moon. And, I wanted to go too, and you boys wouldn't let me.
Elvis: Bobbie, you know there was only room for two.
Bobbie: I know, but why not me as one of the two.
Elvis: OK, I will make a promise. If I ever go back to the moon, it will be with you.
Bobbie: Oh, Elvis, I love it when you speak in that tone of voice. And if we ever do go to the moon, it better be in a spacecraft that I design. Why it's a good thing that I made some secret modifications on the Pokorski and Mock craft before you went up or you and Jay would never have made it back to Earth.

Two friends at Graceland. Note that special sparkle in Bobbie's eyes.

Elvis: You made changes! You never told me that.
Bobbie: You would never have trusted a girl in those days, now would you? Actually, I made quite a few changes. Heaven help anyone that would travel in any kind of transport that those two nerds would make.
Elvis: Bobbie, you promised never to mention the N word again. You know I don't cotton to that. And as for anyone traveling by Mock and Pokorski-made craft, well no one will be that crazy. I am sure those two moved on to something else. You won't believe me, but last time I saw those guys while in one of my disguises they were entering the Playboy Mansion.
Bobbie: No, really, that is a hoot! I'm sorry, Elvis, for using the N word. Now scoot along and go play some music with my husband John and his band. Sometimes I think he lives for playing with you. Every time he knows you are visiting, well, I never hear the end of it. Go along.
Elvis: I'll go, but I sure am glad you are in charge here at Graceland, now.

Little Sturgeon Lake, near Duluth:
Shivering in a wooden hut and leaning over a hole in the ice, Dave Surges, wiggles his fishing line.
Ed Bertell: Man it sure is cold today, and the fish are not even biting. I am looking forward to the Reunion cruise for better weather. Hard to believe Mexico even exists on a day like this.

Dave's Ice Shack! That's right, go visit Dave Surges and this is where you will be freezing your butt off!

Dave: It's not that bad, Ed, only -22 below today. Just wish the fish would bite. Glad you could come visit from Idaho.
Ed: Brrr, yeah me to-to-to. Pass the flask, Dave (takes a chug of Slivovitz Plum Brandy). So you getting bored enough during your winter break from St. Scholastica to consider training again for the next Iditarod?
Dave: Yes, I am. I thought I would quit with one title, but I think racing is in my blood.
Ed: I need some more of that brandy in my blood. Pass the bottle back. Got a bite (he pulls in a 3 ounce throw back fish).
Dave: Actually, I am leaving day after tomorrow with my dog team for Italy. I am going to train the dogs by having them pull Bob Johnson's ski box back up the mountains after each run.
Ed: Sure hope Italy is warmer than Duluth. Why don't we give up for today and go back to your house, Dave......

At a chalet near Torino:

Steve Modugno: Hey, Joe, pass the Alfredo. Wow, is Kit great with fettuccini.
Mike Modugno: So, do you think we have a chance in the Derby.
Frankie DePasquale: Sure we have a chance. You have the Michaelangelo and Rafael of snow vehicles on your side. You have Bobby Johnson driving. And we are going to win despite two dumb Italian putschers!
Joe Dispenza: Easy, Frankie, these two putschers are getting pretty good. I trained them. Fill me up, this Lombardy Colombard is to die for. What's for dessert, Kit?
Kit Figliozzi: Home made Tutti Frutti ice shavings. You like?
Joe: I love it! Why isn't Bob here eating with us tonight? The family that eats together and trains together, wins.
Kit: Bobby is working on the Alemany Blog tonight down at the internet cafe' in Torino. He said not to wait up for him. Bonaccorso sent a large file for posting again.
Steve: Poor Frank, he spends his whole life chasing after little animals that fly around at night. He could have been something.
Kit: A lot of people admire Frank. He is doing what he wants to and people pay him.
Steve: Yeah, and so is Dispenza. He's paid to eat his way through Italy! Are you still eating, Joe? (Joe can't answer for the fettucine hanging out his mouth.)
Kit: I am going for a walk. You guys can clean up, and no more wine.
Frankie: Kit is amazing and not just the cooking. She was looking over my shoulder today and helped me with an equation on the friction constants for the ski runners that I was struggling to calculate. Is she like an engineer or something that we don't know about?
Joe: Beats me. Somebody wake up Mike and help him to bed.

Sussex, England (Literary Side Note from The Shadow: This is the English County where my good friend Sherlock Holmes retired to raise bees long ago)

A man with a golf bag steps off the train.
Guy Proto: Hello, I say, chap, hello, are you looking for the Ryder team?
Seve Ballesteros: Si, senor, I am Seve.
Guy: Good to meet you, Seve. Our team is complete now. We have been waiting for you. Follow me, let me help you with your bag. Johnny Preble is waiting in the car.
Seve: You know, Guy, that is a pretty lousy English accent. Why don't you just speak your American dialect?
Guy: I'm trying to get the hang of British English. There's our car. Is it really that bad?
John: Pleased to meet you, Seve. I guess you know Colin Montgomery here and your countryman Sergio is already at the cottage. Tally ho, off we go (as John pulls out on the wrong side of the road with Colin covering his eyes).

NBC studios:

Ed: I cannot believe it. Our Nielson ratings are the highest that the Tonight Show has had since the last Carson show. Better than anything Jay Leno ever got! We have one disaster followed by another, Mama Arteaga is tipsy and mumbling that she will be appointed Lt. Governor of California, no Cat Woman name in the mayonnaise jar, Ponchie had a sore lip before the end of the show, Mick Jagger fell off stage, and Dave Gieg doesn't show. And we still have good ratings.
Danny: People thought Mama Arteaga was funny. They thought it was an act. She must have given Mick a bottle in the Green Room, but he was funny falling off stage with Peggy trying to prop him back up behind the microphone. It was like Saturday Night Live. And Gieg did not show but the Cheerleaders did.
Ed: However, I just got a phone call from Terry Bowles. He says that Carvotta got equally high ratings. He matched us. How can he do that?
Danny: It's Tivo and split screens. People can record and watch later, or watch both at once. When Nielsen calls and asks what you watched, you can say both shows. I guess people like blood. Heard that Carvotta bled like a stuck pig. We better avoid squid acts in the future, Ed. And of course, somehow Carvotta scooped us and highjacked not only the real mayonnaise jar, but Kathi Gibson too! What did you think of her Cat Woman costume.
Ed: Hot. She is hot! I wish we could get back at Carvotta for stealing out biggest act so far.
Danny: I think we can, Ed. How would you like to steal Elvis from appearing on Carvotta?
Ed: Elvis Costello, sure why not.
Danny: No, Ed, the real Elvis. The King? And I don't mean the King of Sweden, although I could get Rex Olliff on too.
Ed: Danny Boy, have you gone Looney Tunes on me after one show?
Danny: I can't prove it yet. But I was snooping around CBS this morning and I overheard a part of a phone conversation. Carvotta was calling from New York and saying something about booking Elvis. Something about Elvis being at Graceland. A friend of mine just took the Social Director job at Graceland. I am going to pay Bobbie Mosher a visit soon and if my instincts are right, we are going to scoop Carvotta on the biggest TV event in history. This would be bigger than The Beatles on Ed Sullivan.
Ed: If you can deliver that, Danny, you can consider your trial contract permanent. Heh, heh, I hope Carvotta's nose is hurting today.

At CBS:

Carvotta (with large bandage on nose and nasal accent): Who have we got tonight for the show?
Maggie Calaba Wardlaw: We got Jim Dantona and Sammy Sosa.
Carvotta: That's good. Who else?
Maggie: Bart the Bear and his trainer.
Carvotta: (Screaming) No animal act! I refuse to work with another animal. Are you trying to get me killed? That bear stands 9 feet tall.
Maggie: OK, OK, I will cancel Bart. I got Freddy and the Dreamers.
Carvotta: Oh great, at least Bonaccorso will be watching. He will probably be dancing in Hawaii on the beach while he watches.
Maggie: No, actually Frank was in L.A. last night. I saw him at Starbucks with Chris Gilmore of all people. Of course I did not intrude. Do you think they have a thing going?
Carvotta: Could be. I can't picture Chris into bats though. How about Elvis? Any progress there? We need to break away from the Tonight Show in the ratings, and Elvis can deliver.
Maggie: I have been on the phone with Bobbie Mosher for days, but she is hard to crack. She is stalling. She won't admit in clear terms that Elvis is alive and at Graceland.
Carvotta: Maggie, get on the next plane to Memphis and nail the deal for Elvis. Or else.
Maggie: Or else what?
Carvotta: Or else, I won't go on with Bart the Bear! I guess the show must go on.