February 16, 2007



Volume 15: The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As revealed by The Shadow
and with minor assistance from F.J. Bonaccorso

Subtitle: Get a Clue Inspectore!!!

2nd Subtitle: The Apocalypse Comet



Special Dedication:
To the memory of
a creative genius

Richard Henry "Peter" Sellers, CBE, 1925-1980




ABC Late Night News
Good Evening, this is Louise Franco King substituting for Bernard Van Vlymen. And now, tonight's news. For the third time in a week, major art works have been stolen from a European museum. The Prado Museum in Madrid, Spain, was in a panic earlier today. Over 3,000 visitors and staff were evacuated from the museum after what turned out to be a smoke bomb set off fire alarms. By the time the Madrid Fire Department cleared the smoke, two great paintings worth a combined $20 million euros were missing. Missing were View of Toledo, 1597 by El Greco and Cucumber Still Life (Bodegon de los Pepinos) by Melendez. It was said that Spain's King Juan Carlos weeped upon learning of the loss. The King declared he would bring the great Scchief Inspectore Rapposelli into the case at his own expense as a matter of national pride. Rapposelli currently is in Paris investigating the theft of the Mona Lisa, perhaps the most treasured icon of art in the world.
Meanwhile, security has been tightened at art museums throughout Europe. Beware to Las Panteras Rosas, you have no hope of another successful strike! The world is united from Tokyo to Johannesburg to Oslo to Rapid City, S.D.





Bodegon de los Pepinos (Cucumber still life). Melendez's mastery of light is evident as the tomatoes and cucumbers amass luminosity in the foreground yet he chose dim light for the background. Tomatoes seem to have different standards today than in MelĂ©ndez´s time.



View of Toledo, 1597 by El Greco as viewed by the
Las Panteras Rosas just before they stole it.





In Detroit, the last pair of dancers was selected to meet already qualified Ron Turkal and Jennifer Lopez. Ponche Covarrubias and Christina Aguilera, performing the Mexican Hat Dance, were eliminated in a close competition. Cajun zydeco music put Liz Pack Jones and Leonardo Di Caprio into the finals. However our Reporter to the Stars, Colleen Murphy Cripe has an interesting twist on this story. Come in Colleen in Detroit.
Colleen: Hello, Louise. And a twist it was. A twist of the ankle of Leonardo DiCaprio on the final move of his dance has resulted in a high ankle sprain. Leo was under an huge ice pack and lying flat on his back when we talked to him. He said that he hopes to dance next week in the finals, but doctors told him that these types of sprain are very touchy and they would not know if he could compete until later in the week. Liz Pack was holding Leo's hand and telling him not to worry and that he was magnificent tonight in getting the team to the finals. Under competition rules, if a dancer cannot perform, a previously designated alternate may take their place. However, Liz Pack would not reveal her alternate and insisted that a replacement was only hypothetical at this point.
Back to you, Louise.

NBC Studios, The Tonight Show
Ed McMahon: Our guests tonight include snowboard champion Linda Haney Pearcy, Genuine Fake Psychic Madame Zaza, the number one ranked chess player in the world, William Hertan III, and a musical appearance by Nuns for Fun. First, a word from our sponsors at Fusano Olive Oil which now comes in fragrant bath soaps....
(After the break)
Ed: So, Danny, you will be taking a two week leave from the show for a European trip.
Dan McMahon: I will indeed, Edward. I am going to take time to get in touch with my family roots in Ireland and Scotland. My Uncle McTavish McMahon will be my host at our ancestral castle in Ireland. I also will be competing in the ancient Highland Games in Scotland.
Ed: What will you be doing at the Highland Games?
Dan: Not many people know that I am 2nd ranked in the USA in the ancient sport of caber tossing, Ed.
Ed: Wow! That is the event where you pick up a telephone pole size piece of wood and try to toss it as far as you can?
Dan: Yes, it is. Enough about me, let's bring out our first guest, Billy Hertan, and talk chess with the Grand Master who recently beat an IBM supercomputer.





Danny McMahon as Father Inferior playing with Nuns for Fun on the Tonight Show. Danny gave lessons to Eric Clapton and Jerry Garcia when they were starting in the business, but now he is a legend in his own right.



Oval Office, The White House
Jude Hawkes: Gentlemen and Judy, may I present to you, Mr. Lamont Cranston. Some of you may know him by his nom de plume, The Shadow. Lamont this is the Vice President, Bob Guerrero, Security Chief of Staff, Pete Herron, Special Agent Rich Corona of the FBI, Inspector Judy Brouillette of Homeland Security, and Star Fleet Captain, Brian Grimshaw. Let's get right down to business, please be seated. Lamont is there anything that you can do to help avert the destruction of Earth by the Poirier Comet?
The Shadow: President Hawkes, I do have a plan. I have called in several superhero colleagues to assist and they should be arriving soon. Your executive secretary, will notify us when they arrive. Is the Enterprise, Jr., ready to take us to the comet?
Brian: Lamont, refueling is underway and we can be ready to fly at 2300 hrs.
Over the intercom is the voice of Executive Secretary to the President, Charlene Brash Vlamina: Madame President, The Shadow's guests are here, may I show them into the office?
Jude: Thank you, Charlene, please bring them in here.
Lamont: If you will allow me to introduce my fellow Super-Heroes? (Jude nods approval). This is Tom Marsh-Mellow Man Marsh, he has the ability to stretch himself out into incredible shapes and tolerates contortions you have never seen in a lava lamp. (Tom bows). This is Liz Wingfoot Healy Zander, with her Mercury Wing-feet she can fly acrobatic maneuvers at speeds faster than Mach 4 even in the void of space (Liz hovers above the table to curtsey, then settles back down). And finally, a man after my own shadowy self, is The Black Magister, Steve Spadero. (The Black Magister growls). Steve is the last true alchemist on Earth. He can expand the quality of any element into super-elements. If you want copper with increased conductivity, The Black Magister is master. If you wish to have steel with the consistency of rubber, but retaining its strength, no problem.
Bob Guerrero: Excellent. But what exactly is your plan to stop the apocalypse comet?
Tune in next time to see the plan in action.

______________________________________________



Convent Nurtures Corpse Flowers For Unique Purpose

Mon Feb 5, 2:15 PM ET. The Shadow Press Newspapers
San Diego (Reuters) – “Carefully regulated greenhouse conditions have tricked the world's smelliest plant into blooming in the middle of the northern hemisphere winter at our convent”, Sister Joyce Hampel, CSJ, told reporter Joan Goss Commons. We call our propagation of corpse plants, the Garden of Eden Project.
A Titan Arum or Corpse Flower, native to the island of Sumatra in the southern hemisphere, has been encouraged into a phenomenal growth spurt and into flower -- an event that usually happens only once every six to nine years. "The Titan, standing at 5 and a half feet tall is the largest flower in the world and gives off a revolting stink, hence its name" said Sister Joyce with a wink and a smile to our roving reporter who had placed a clothes-pin to seal her nostrils before venturing into this interview. "The smell is a cross between rotten cheese, dog poo, and something dead", continued Sister Joyce. The flower is pollinated by flies that are deceived into approach by the smell of rotting flesh. The confused insects crawl over the flower and spread pollen. "Tonight the flower you see here will be in full bloom -- as will the stench -- and that will last several more days. But in three days it will have started to die back, and we hope to induce the next greenhouse plant to bloom. We already have two more arums in the greenhouse about to flower. When this bloom dies we will entice the next plant to bloom with the right combination of light, water, temperature, and nutrients thus keeping the convent wafted by a stinky odor plume perpetually."
So why this interest in corpse plants here at the convent? Formerly the good nuns were plagued by break-ins at the convent. The San Diego Police Department seemed unable to offer protection. However, since keeping corpse flowers in bloom, the nuns have not had a single attempted robbery. "We have the world’s largest collection of the plant, so robbers, muggers, and evil doers beware, this stench is unbearable". The sister’s condition themselves to the scent with exposures to concentrations and gradually build up tolerance to full strength. It is just a matter of will power and devotion to detail to raise these rare and unusual plants and to acclimate oneself accepting the smell according to Sister Joyce. Unfortunately, visiting Sister Anselma (formerly known to some readers as Diane Scollard) has not had the benefit of the acclimation period, but she handles the situation with a stout spirit. Looking on the bright side at another benefit of the odor, there are no more door to door salesmen for two blocks downwind of the convent.


ABC News Special Late Breaking News: Although Liz Pack Jones will only state, "No comment", when inquiring reporters inquire who she will be dancing with in the finals of Dancing with The Stars next week, ABC news obtained this photograph inside a Hollywood dance studio from famed paraparazi, Larry Cappel. You be the judge of what Liz may be planning.




Dance Partners?


Shadow’s Trivia Question: Who closed his TV Show by saying: Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are (and walked offstage in a series of spot lights)? First answer to bonafrank@yahoo.com wins a prize supplied by Danny McMahon.


Credits for Volume 15:


Scchief Bloggologist: Robert M. Johnson


Graphic White Wizard: Daniel P. McMahon

Powder Blue Sub-Wizard for Graphics: Frank J. Bonaccorso





Hey, how come we don’t have graphics by Leonard DiTrapani?

DiTrapani (left) offered a bid that was way higher than McMahon or the guy on the right!!!





That pulls down the curtain on another episode!




Oh, but wait, our new inductees into The Shadow’s Super Fan Hall of Fame for this week are:
Chris Belle Monroe and Dave # 11 Gieg




Housekeeper: You've ruined that piano!Clouseau: What is the price of one piano, compared to the terrible crime that has been committed here.Housekeeper: But that's a priceless Steinway!Clouseau: Nyot Anymeur.






To be continued......in Volume 16

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