October 12, 2007


The Final Volume [24]
Part D.
The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As Revealed by The Shadow
with minor assistance from
F.J. Bonaccorso and
Photo Wizards R. M. Johnson and D. P. McMahon

Subtitle: "Oh-weee Baby, Won’t You Let Me Take You
On A Sea Cruise"


Special Dedication:
To the Man Who Will Forever Be
"Coach"
Happy 97th Birthday on October 14th
John R. Wooden
Winner of the Medal of Freedom
10 NCCA Basketball Championships
All-American and All-Academic at Purdue University
And he still has a valid California Driver’s License


Chalkstone Cliffs, Texas, during the Cretaceous


The intrepid pterodactyl collectors are about to get toasted.


The uplifted rock upon which Chris Gilmore and Frank Bonaccorso are standing is only a few feet above a fast flowing river of molten lava. The air temperature is reaching near lethal values. Chris faints and Frank is holding her but about to lose consciousness himself when a large menacing shadow passes overhead. No, not The Shadow, a shadow from a giant pterodactyl with a forty-foot wingspan and a beak full of serrated teeth in attack mode! Its beak lunges at Frank and he dodges sideways. The miss is a momentary reprieve. The ptero hisses and circles for another pass. As the Ptero lunges again taking dead aim for Frank who is on one knee and looking very queasy, a single pistol shot is heard. The ptero falls into the river of lava only feet in front of Frank. From the cliffs above, the Cisco Kid blows smoke away from the barrel of his gun.


Pancho: Hey, Cisco, that may be the best shot I ever see you make, Keeeed. You hit that big flying lizard in the eye.
The Cisco Kid: It was a good shot, Pancho, but the best shot I ever took, no, I donne theenk so.
The best shot I ever took was in Dodge City back in '62 when I shot the belt buckle off the holster of Jay Pelzer on that day he was drunk and challenged Wyatt Earp to a duel.
Pancho: Oh, yes, that was a good shot too. Jay was only a freshman then, and trying to make a name for himself. By unarming Jay you prevented Wyatt from shooting him dead. And Wyatt would have shot him because Jay was calling him every foul name under the sun. Oh-oh, maybe you deed not save Frank for long, look Keeeed.

Frank finally succumbs to the heat and fumes and falls on the rocky pedestal. But wait!
A new flying figure descends from the sky and closes in on Frank and Chris. It is Liz “Wingfoot” Healy carrying Tom “Marshmellow Man”Marsh. Tom stretches his marshmallow arms and grabs Chris and Frank. The superheroes fly off with the two unconscious expedition members just seconds before the pillar of chalkstone upon which they had been laying collapses into the river of lava.

Inside the Monarch II
Dave Nehen: I have the controls. Prepare for time transport. Three, two, one ……. Poof! The Monarch II is no longer in the Cretaceous.

Outside the town limits of Norfolk, Nebraska
Ken Meddock: (on cell phone.) Hi Dan, this is Ken. Hey, I am on the road for the USC at Nebraska football game. Funky think happened on the way to the game. There is this huge billboard just outside of Norfolk, saying 'Home of Danny McMahon'. What is that all about?
Dan McMahon: Ken, Norfolk recently gave me the key to the city and made me an honorary citizen in recognition of my first anniversary on The Tonight Show. Seems they appreciate all the recognition we have given to Johnny Carson. Norfolk is Johnny’s hometown. Hey we got a great show tonight, be sure and watch, some old Alemany friends are appearing.
Ken: Like whom?
Dan: Well, we are leading off with Kevin McHugh and his dancing polar bears. Then John Barreiro will be talking about his visit to the Cretaceous Era and will show his Pterodactyl photos. He has some incredible still photos of a giant pterodactyl about to take Bonaccorso’s head off. Marsha Edenhofer will be here to demonstrate gourmet campout cooking. And finally Doug Rex and John Gugerty will be on to challenge me to a basketball-dunking contest.



Heeeeere’s Ken having found Danny’s billboard in Nebraska.


Basement of the Playboy Mansion
Dr. Alan Shows: Chris and Frank are both awake and though very weak, they are each out of harms way. In a couple of days Chris will be rock climbing again, no doubt.
Greg Pokoriski: That is great news, Al. Well, we almost had our pterodactyl mascot for Alemany that time.
Terry Mock: Yes, but we are, how shall I say, not financially solvent anymore. We blew all the money that Oscar Rivera and Marty Molidor donated to the Time Travel Foundation.
Cha Cha Faitel: And even worse, Hugh Hefner has given us an eviction notice. We are three months arrears in our rent. I can't believe he would do that to us.
Terry: Yes, but the good news is that while we still had funds, I purchased tickets for all of us to be on the Alemany Reunion Cruise. So everyone pack a bag and see you on the SS Pterodactyl, San Pedro Harbor, tomorrow morning.
Pat Dolan: Wow, a cruise. Is the food included in our tickets?
Terry: Everything is included. Just be there.
Bill Danaher: Just one last thing. Don't anyone mention when Chris is present that the Cisco Kid shot a pterodactyl to save them. You all know how Chris loves Pteros.

Aboard the SS Pterodactyl
Lester Dunkin: It’s all clear now. You can come out from under the tarp, Elvis.
Elvis Presley: Well, hush my sweet puppies. Look down there. It's Bobbie Mosher about to board our lil’ old tugboat if she can get past that guy with the police motorcycle.
Who is that guy?
Lester: Geesh, that looks like Dave Nehen. I haven’t seen him since graduation at Alemany. Yo, Dave, up here. Hello.
Dave: Is that you, Lester? See you in a minute. Gotta get my police cruiser stowed properly.
Lester: Elvis, maybe we should wait until a better moment to let Bobbie see you are here. After all, she thinks you are dead from the space battle those slimy aliens.
Elvis: Yes, I think that would be best, Lester, good ol' buddy.


Dave Nehen refuses to leave his police special behind.

George Duggan: Ummm. Hmmm. I guess we can store your vehicle on C deck fantail. This seaman will escort you there.
Dave: Thank you, George.
Abbott Francis: Hello, I am Abbott Francis, you knew me as Tom Benedict. Permission to come aboard? You look familiar, did you go to Alemany?
George: Yes, Class of ’66. Just like you Abbot. I am First Officer George Duggan. And who is this behind you?
Tom: Tim Benedict, also from Valyermo.
George: Welcome aboard. If you will head through that door and turn left, you will find Penny and Pam Mertens at the Alemany registration desk signing folk into their rooms.

In a field north of Hansen Dam
Kathy Martin: Excuse me, sir. I’m having a little trouble finding my way to San Pedro. Can you tell me what direction I should be heading? I am desperate to get to my High School Reunion cruise.


Who g-nuuuu that you could ride so well, Kathryn?

Farmer: That mount is looking a bit tuckered. Not sure you are going to make it on that.
Kathryn: Beuhlia is a little run down and needs some water and oats. Have you got a mount I can trade you for now. I will gladly bring your animal back here on my way back north.
Farmer: Weeeeell, I don’t know. That is an awful scrawny nag.
Kathryn: Oh, please sir. I just have to get to San Pedro. I will let you hold my gold watch until I return your animal.
Farmer: It’s against my best judgment. (He eyeballs the watch.) But, ok. I got an animal you can ride.

San Pedro Harbor:
And now the Alemanians were streaming aboard the SS Pterodactyl arriving by every means and conveyance imaginable. On came Brenda Biafora, Judith Ann Campbell, and Lillian Zevallos landing dockside in a hot air balloon. Greg and Thomas Williams raced each other on pogo sticks. Catherine Weigand had a hired rickshaw from Chinatown. Sheila Cotter took Amtrak from Little Rock, Arkansas, to Union Station and thence by taxi. Everyone boarding received a copy of the Reunion Cruise Special Edition of the PowWow, hot off the presses, from Adam Marx and Tom McClanahan.

George Duggan was checking off names on the entry roster, and meeting and greeting. Old memories flooded into his mind of days of yester year. Jim “The Pelican” Walker came aboard dribbling a basketball between his legs, Jan Wherley led a llama, Dave Gieg, Rich Corona, and Joel Dispenza wore tattered and much revered Alemany football jerseys bearing numbers 11, 83, and 36 respectively. Leo Restrich boarded shaking his head with frustration at having received a citation at the bottom of the gangway from Tom Tona for having his shirttail not tucked. Sheesh, some things never change.


Leo, don’t look so surprised.
You know Alemany regulations explicitly require shirttails tucked-in.
We cropped the photo so as not to have evidence that can be used against Leo
if he appeals to Father Weber.

Chris Menke came dressed as Captain Brackett as if prepared to go into character for South Pacific. Terry Mock came aboard with a fishing pole and a vest with all sorts of fancy-tied fishing flies. Willie Melendres serenaded those boarding with a version of Walk Don’t Run on his trumpet. Pam Longworth twirled a baton and wore a feathered Indian bonnet. And still they came; Mary Howard, Stephen Kohler, Terry Jenkins, Jeannine Sherman, Gail Runyon, and Maria Martinez were chatting up a storm and pretending to recognize each other. Peggy Jones arrived in a stretch limo and blew a kiss to Elton John who with chagrin re-entered the limo after Peggy stomped her foot and said, "Absolutely no, you cannot come aboard, this is strictly an Alemany family shindig. Go by some new rhinestone clothes, and I will see you when I am back, darrrrrling."

And then a loud clear voice, above the chatter and footsteps was heard. "Clear the gangway, we're coming up." Two Indian maidens dressed in garnet skirts with white fringe and white gloves commenced to run toward the ship. Pam Brockert and her younger sister Tina, went into a run and then proceeded to tumble and cartwheel the entire way up the gangway, past a befuddled George Duggan, who simply said in a passive whisper, "Permission to come aboard, I guess".

Kathy Bridge, Tina Cross, and Tom Stratton were pulled aboard faster than they wanted to go, all three tugging on a leash that was attached to a ......Lion, the class mascot of the Monarchs, now with a full mane of black hair, was not to be left behind. Tom, looking dapper in his letterman sweater, was heard to tell Kathy, "Good thing we fed him that goat haunch before we came aboard". And not so far behind were two more lions, but these were bipedal. At the top of the gangway, one lion lifted off its fake head, and said, "Hi, I’m Monica DeLaScotta, I was an exchange student in 1966.”" The other lion would not take off his or her costume head, but simply said, "Grrrrr". George replied, "Oh, permission to come aboard granted".

Next up the gangway was Sandra Cafaro, "Was that a real lion that I just saw?"
William "Bob" Daniel: At least one of them was a real lion. Hi, I’m Bob Daniel.
I don’t think we ever met, did we?
Sandra: Perhaps not, I didn't know many boys at Alemany. Sure wish we had more classes together with you boys.
Bob: Don’t we all regret that.
Patricia Rohr: I second that emotion.

Peggy Catron, Liz “Duchess” Collins, Mike Davis, Bobbi Fisher, and Chris Gordon were all happily chattering and walking toward the SS Pterodactyl, but all suddenly went silent. Over the edge of the dock a figure all in black except for a large red muffler that covered most of his face, stalked toward them, or really toward the gangplank. The figure tipped his hat and paced up the gangplank while the group below scratched their heads and finally…..
Mike: Who was that masked man?
Duchess: I'm pretty sure that was (in a hushed tone)…..The Shadow.
Peggy: No way? Really?
Bobbi: Gee willickers! A real superhero!
Chris: I wonder if I can get his autograph. Come on. Don't be lagging behind, everyone.


Cover of Issue #1 of The Shadow by DC Comics.

Malibu Canyon:
Kathryn Martin: Good afternoon. Nice day ain't it.
Hippy homesteader couple: (They do a double take).
Man: Who the heck are you?
Lady: We don't want no trouble.
Kathyrn: I’m just trying to find my way to San Pedro Harbor.
Man: Lady, you are a long way from there.


Wouldn't you do a double take if you saw this on your property?

Upon the SS Pterodactyl:
George: Welcome, Shadow. Come right aboard, your usual stateroom is all prepared.
Shadow: Thank you, George. Up for a bit of five-card stud tonight?
George: I promised myself never to play cards again with a man who reads minds, so no thank you. But you may find Madame Zazza will be interested. She may be your equal in mind reading, Shadow. She is in Cabin 72C.
Shadow: We shall see.

The Bridge, SS Pterodactyl
Father Frank Wagner: Your ship is very impressive, thanks for the tour, Art.
Sister St. Margaret: We won’t have to worry about seasickness, will we, Captain Durazo?
Art: We are expecting calm seas, Sister. Don’t you worry a bit. And please, Sister, call me, Art.
St Margaret: Ok, Art.
Art: Well, if you two will excuse me, I have another faculty tour to lead with Dr. Parza, Coach Ahn, Father Cunningham, Mrs. Patella, and Dr. Holmes. Gadzooks! What is that, that, that, thing doing on my ship?
Father Wagner: A rather strange object. I am sure it was not there a moment ago. It seems to be releasing a good deal of steam.
Sister Rose Bernard: Oh my. I hope it isn't an alien attack. You know, I read somewhere that little purple aliens got Elvis. Or maybe it was Bobbie Mosher that told me that. Bobbie has always had quite an imagination.
Art: I'm sure it's nothing like that, Sister. I'll have our security team check it out.

A door on the strange object opens and out steps………not a little purple alien but…..


To Be Continued………

No comments: