Every year at Christmas time I get into the "retro mode." For those of you who don't like getting bored to death, feel free to close this link. For those interested in a perspective covering a lot of years, and a lot of distance, read on. These are simply thoughts on how I have seen Christmas change over the years.

Back in the mid 50's (not all that long after WWII) my grandfather was Vice-President of Chase Manhattan banks in the Orient... i.e., Japan. Since he had a definite "in" with the toy manufacturers, Grandpa would send each of us grandchildren a small crate of toys for Christmas. (Amazing stuff for that day and age ... the first of the battery powered toys.) My brothers and I would go crazy waiting for Mom to tell us we could open the boxes. Well, we'd go crazy right up to the point at which she would always say, "Pick three. Put the rest back in the box."

To all three of us, like to any other typical child, this was like having a curse dumped right on top of a blessing beyond belief. We'd get about a week to pick and choose three items from the dozens that were sent "to us!" Grrrrr It's really strange. I have a photographic memory. But, out of all the toys I got to try out, I only remember the few toys I decided to keep each year. So, for the three years that I recall just before moving from Ohio to California, that's 12 toys. The other "photographic" memories are so much better.

My parents had a better plan for the "other toys." The kids at the orphanage in Worthington, Ohio, had no problem recognizing my parents' '56 Ford, Country Squire station wagon when it would enter the grounds a week before Christmas. Dad seemed to always be at work on the designated day. So, Mom always did the deliveries. She would have been quite happy to have just dropped the toys off at some back door and split. But (there's always a "but." LOL) The people who ran the orphanage wanted her to see the joy on the orphans' faces. And Mom wanted us kids to see where our "other toys" were going.

I only recall about a dozen toys. Yet I clearly remember so many happy children's faces. Since I don't remember what toys were given away, what I do remember is so much more important. And Mom would never accept the kids' thank yous. She'd just say the toys were from Santa... who knew he would be very busy Christmas Eve. So, he just had Mom drop off the toys early.

For so many years that was my impression of "how Christmas should be." Later on, life would prove me wrong.

In the late '70's, I was stationed at Offutt AFB, Omaha, Nebraska. My particular unit on base put on a really big Christmas shindig for underprivileged children. Right after New Year's we'd start working on funding/donations for the next Christmas. We'd get 100 to 120 names of needy children from various organizations in Omaha and the surrounding communities. The J.C. Penny store in Bellevue would let us in the back door at 7AM with volunteer sales people to help us with the children. And Penny gave us a substantial discount.

Unfortunately, at our final meeting before our third annual party, the manager of Penny's showed up. His "volunteers" wanted it known to us that they had recognized several of the children from previous years coming back to the store for refunds on the clothing, etc., that we gave the kids. The parents had no receipts. So, they would use their store credits to buy "adult items." .... mens and womens clothes, purses, jewelry, etc. That was a simple fix. We just had them cut out the manufacturers' tags from all the kids' clothing when purchased. You might guess how disgusted we were with the involved parents.

So much for that Christmas. Oh well, 5,000 miles away in Greece, things would have to be better.

Not so!!! Our first Christmas of my assignment to Greece was 1983. The last thing anyone wanted was "stuff" sent into Greece. Every item had to be listed with the Greek Customs Office. Everything would have to be accounted for on departure from the country. The ex and I sent out letters to everyone in the family, "NO gifts. Send cash. We will buy presents locally and put the rest into college funds." (That is not exactly how it was written. But, it is the gist of it.)

All family members seemed to be cooperating ... up until two weeks before Christmas. Suddenly, every one seemed to have an Epiphany that our kids should have at least a few American gifts for Christmas. Well, after unwrapping, listing each gift on the Greek customs forms and then rewrapping, we had a mountain of gifts... and five full pages of added customs items to track until our departure from Greece. The worst of it ... we made the kids take turns opening presents so we could take pictures. Fortunately for my daughter, she was born in Athens only 6 weeks before Christmas. She didn't have to open anything. My 6 and 7-year old boys were a different story.

Two and a half hours into opening presents, taking turns so they could be video taped, my sons were in tears ... and not even close to being finished opening presents. Suddenly I had a flashback to my mother and those crates of presents Grandpa would send us as kids. I realized what she had always told us about "too much of a good thing." We let the boys start playing with the toys they had already opened. They were ecstatic ... and totally unaware that I was sliding packages out the front door of our apartment to take to the orphanage my squadron had held a party for just two days before.

Another Christmas let down. I called Yargo ( a retired Greek Lt Colonel, good friend, go between for US and Greek operations of all types). We went to the Greek orphanage. The kids were ecstatic, yet quizzical. After a minute or two, Yargo had a pissed off look on his face. Turned out the kids figured they were finally going to actually get to keep their presents. The orphanage staff had been confiscating all our gifts from the orphans and giving them to their own children. Yargo and his government contacts took care of that. But, Christmas had once again become a downer for me.

So, I have learned my lessons. "Giving" is the greatest feeling in the world. It is what those with the capacity to do it should do. Some have the capacity to give a lot. Some have only the capacity to give a little. But, the capacity is there. Due to the hard economic times, I am going to set the bar low this year. For the Christmas holidays I plan to beat Joe Biden's average annual charitable contributions ($369 per year) by at least $4 in the next three weeks. (I already beat him for the year. So, that's off the table.) Seriously, the cost of a "soup kitchen" Christmas dinner is less than $2. So, cough up $400 and 200 (that's TWO HUNDRED) people get a good meal for Christmas. This is a no-brainer.

With the economy going the way it is, there will be a lot of people looking for a good meal on Christmas. There will be plenty of places to donate food. Unfortunately, food donations are "balanced." Random donations end up with "too much of this, too little of that." And one cannot drop off milk for the children. So, I suggest people step outside the box. Take a little time. Put in a little effort. Track down the people who are in charge of these Christmas "soup kitchens." Give them cash. Let them buy the stuff they need to finish off the meals. REMINDER: Do not give them your name. According to my grandfather, each person will owe you one thank you. Do you really want it here on Earth? Or would you rather have St Peter waiting at the Pearly Gates with 200 thank you's in your account?

I wish all of you a happy and holy Christmas.

Please, don't cheat yourself out of the joy of giving. (Even if you are the only person who knows you gave, it still feels great to give.)

"Monarch '66 Elf" (Somewhere south of the North Pole)

UPDATE: The class "Elf" has gotten "over the bar." He didn't do it all with meals. It took two people to unload his sleigh at the Marines Toys for Tots drop off point. The Elf suggests every one hurry to join the fun.