Volume 10: The Further Saga of Alemany '66:
As revealed by The Shadow
and with minor assistance from F.J. Bonaccorso
Subtitle: Kidnapped by Aliens
As revealed by The Shadow
and with minor assistance from F.J. Bonaccorso
Subtitle: Kidnapped by Aliens
Volume Special Dedication: from cast members Mama Teri, Beej, Dr. Barb, Jayzer, Father Inferior, Leo, Batman & Shadow
To our favorite Desert Wildflower
Char Haley Coimbra: best class smile in 1968
and best in 2007
"You'll find that life is still worth-while, if you just smile" (Lyrics from 'Smile')
The above message was not an obituary!! Char is quite alive and smiling.
AND NOW ON TO OUR STORY:
Graceland, Memphis.
Leo Restrich: (Photographing the guitar shaped pool, click, click, while backing up bumps into a lady). Oh pardon me, madame.
Kathy Dunlay: I am no Madame, Leo. I saw you here and just came over to say Hello.
Leo: Kathy, you look great. Are you an Elvis fan?
Kathy: Not exactly, I mean he is ok. I came by to have dinner with Bobbie and John Noreen.
Leo: Bobbie and John?
Kathy: Leo, didn't you know that Bobbie Mosher works and lives here at Graceland? (Leo shakes head negatively). She has been here only a short time. Say, I am sure she will be happy to see you, why don't you stay to dinner? We're dining here poolside as soon as all the tourists leave.
Leo: I would love to see Bobbie, if it wouldn't be a big imposition.
Kathy: It will be groovy with Bobbie, she is having it catered by the staff anyway. Let's go find her.
SPORTS EXTRA:
MAVERICK'S BIG WAVE SURF COMPETITION
North Shore, Oahu.
January 15, 2007. Story by Mary Jo Bradley, Shadow Press.
Surf's up, Dude, and its gnarly. The woody is gassed up, the radio is blaring Jan and Dean, and the boards are on the roof rack. That's all Andy Kotnik ever needs to hear and he's headed for the beach, even if he has to fly to Hawaii before jumping in a woody station wagon. Andy is one of the favorites in the Golden Master's Competition this weekend for those over age 50. Along the beach they just call him The Legend of Gnarly because of his notoriety to surf waves no one else will even get near the water, let alone ride. And he has been riding the big waves since high school at Alemany non-stop.
Graceland, Memphis.
Leo Restrich: (Photographing the guitar shaped pool, click, click, while backing up bumps into a lady). Oh pardon me, madame.
Kathy Dunlay: I am no Madame, Leo. I saw you here and just came over to say Hello.
Leo: Kathy, you look great. Are you an Elvis fan?
Kathy: Not exactly, I mean he is ok. I came by to have dinner with Bobbie and John Noreen.
Leo: Bobbie and John?
Kathy: Leo, didn't you know that Bobbie Mosher works and lives here at Graceland? (Leo shakes head negatively). She has been here only a short time. Say, I am sure she will be happy to see you, why don't you stay to dinner? We're dining here poolside as soon as all the tourists leave.
Leo: I would love to see Bobbie, if it wouldn't be a big imposition.
Kathy: It will be groovy with Bobbie, she is having it catered by the staff anyway. Let's go find her.
SPORTS EXTRA:
MAVERICK'S BIG WAVE SURF COMPETITION
North Shore, Oahu.
January 15, 2007. Story by Mary Jo Bradley, Shadow Press.
Surf's up, Dude, and its gnarly. The woody is gassed up, the radio is blaring Jan and Dean, and the boards are on the roof rack. That's all Andy Kotnik ever needs to hear and he's headed for the beach, even if he has to fly to Hawaii before jumping in a woody station wagon. Andy is one of the favorites in the Golden Master's Competition this weekend for those over age 50. Along the beach they just call him The Legend of Gnarly because of his notoriety to surf waves no one else will even get near the water, let alone ride. And he has been riding the big waves since high school at Alemany non-stop.
Andy Kotnik with his long board just before the Maverick's Big Wave Competition. Guess everyone can't dress to Jay Pelzer's standards! But who cares.
Andy during a small board practice run just to get the juices flowing before the competition. Gnarly! Fortunately, his insurance is paid. Torino Ski Box Training Camp Offices.
Enter Scchief Inspectore, Italian Carabineri, Eugene Rapposelli bumping into doorway and pulling down drapes beside door as he prevents his falling:
Eugene: Ahem, just testing, I pronounce your walls seem to not have termites. Aha, Buongiorno Padre, Senora Ganssele, and Dr. McConnaughy. So you see, as I was explaining on the phone, it is quite a complex matter. There have been threats against his life. The national betting on Bob Johnson has been quite heavy. With the Michaelanglo and Raphael of ski vehicle race design on your team, everyone in Italy expects Johnson & Johnson to win at Jungfrau and at the Matterhorn. It is a matter of national pride with so many Italians on your team. If Bob should lose at the Jungfrau, it could be, how you say in English?
Dr. Eileen McConnaughy: Bob Johnson Sleeps with the Fish in Concrete Shoes?
Eugene: Si.
Father Kerry Beaulieu, recently appointed USA Ambassador to The Vatican: The Pope has heard of these threats to Bob and he wants to offer his best Swiss Guard troops as security. A show of force, so to speak. I really think you should accept this gesture, Mary.
Mary Ganssele Johnson: As majority owner of Johnson & Johnson, I agree we need to do everything possible to protect our team members. But could we have the Swiss Guard, ah, go undercover, without the garrulous uniforms at the racing venues? I don't want Bob and the team to know about this, they need to stay focused on winning a race.
Eugene: Si signorina, no problem. But what to your think, Dr. McConnaughy?
Ellie McConnaughy: I think the best thing would be for you to catch the people making the threats pronto, Inspectore Rapposelli.
Eugene: Excuse me Doctor, but that is Chief Inspectore Rapposelli. (Chief Inspectore, turns to leave, knocks over a small table, catches a priceless vase from the table top and hands it to an astonished Father Beaulieu on the way out.
Kerry: Where did that guy get his Chief Inspectore badge, from the Pink Panther Police Academy? I better include him in my prayers.
Playboy Mansion.
Greg Pokorski: Well, I hope everyone enjoyed the food. I think we should bring Mona back now. Let's all go over to the time chamber.
Terry Mock: Is flipping levers and toggle switches, noise increases and lights flash, the room vibrates, and smoke rises, and Poof! Mona is back still wearing the helmet-cam.
Cha Cha. Mona, sweetheart, come to Cha Cha. (She removes the helmet-cam and passes it to Greg and carries Mona back to her cage.)
Greg: It won't take long and I will have the images downloaded to the giant computer screen. Finish your sherry everyone.
Alan Shows: (Elbows Frank B.) I am beginning to believe in this, Frank.
Greg: (at computer) Oh drat, oh goodness gracious sakes alive. What has gone wrong? (Greg walks back to the group). I am afraid something demagnetized the memory chip in the camera during the time travel. We only have static, no images.
Alan: Well, I think I must be leaving. Sorry it didn't work, Greg.
Cha Cha: Not so fast, Alan. Look at these. (She passes a partially eaten insect and a piece of plant material to Frank). Mona had these in her hand.
Frank: Wow, would you look at these! This is the tooth of an exctinct Pleisiosaur.
Enter Scchief Inspectore, Italian Carabineri, Eugene Rapposelli bumping into doorway and pulling down drapes beside door as he prevents his falling:
Eugene: Ahem, just testing, I pronounce your walls seem to not have termites. Aha, Buongiorno Padre, Senora Ganssele, and Dr. McConnaughy. So you see, as I was explaining on the phone, it is quite a complex matter. There have been threats against his life. The national betting on Bob Johnson has been quite heavy. With the Michaelanglo and Raphael of ski vehicle race design on your team, everyone in Italy expects Johnson & Johnson to win at Jungfrau and at the Matterhorn. It is a matter of national pride with so many Italians on your team. If Bob should lose at the Jungfrau, it could be, how you say in English?
Dr. Eileen McConnaughy: Bob Johnson Sleeps with the Fish in Concrete Shoes?
Eugene: Si.
Father Kerry Beaulieu, recently appointed USA Ambassador to The Vatican: The Pope has heard of these threats to Bob and he wants to offer his best Swiss Guard troops as security. A show of force, so to speak. I really think you should accept this gesture, Mary.
Mary Ganssele Johnson: As majority owner of Johnson & Johnson, I agree we need to do everything possible to protect our team members. But could we have the Swiss Guard, ah, go undercover, without the garrulous uniforms at the racing venues? I don't want Bob and the team to know about this, they need to stay focused on winning a race.
Eugene: Si signorina, no problem. But what to your think, Dr. McConnaughy?
Ellie McConnaughy: I think the best thing would be for you to catch the people making the threats pronto, Inspectore Rapposelli.
Eugene: Excuse me Doctor, but that is Chief Inspectore Rapposelli. (Chief Inspectore, turns to leave, knocks over a small table, catches a priceless vase from the table top and hands it to an astonished Father Beaulieu on the way out.
Kerry: Where did that guy get his Chief Inspectore badge, from the Pink Panther Police Academy? I better include him in my prayers.
Playboy Mansion.
Greg Pokorski: Well, I hope everyone enjoyed the food. I think we should bring Mona back now. Let's all go over to the time chamber.
Terry Mock: Is flipping levers and toggle switches, noise increases and lights flash, the room vibrates, and smoke rises, and Poof! Mona is back still wearing the helmet-cam.
Cha Cha. Mona, sweetheart, come to Cha Cha. (She removes the helmet-cam and passes it to Greg and carries Mona back to her cage.)
Greg: It won't take long and I will have the images downloaded to the giant computer screen. Finish your sherry everyone.
Alan Shows: (Elbows Frank B.) I am beginning to believe in this, Frank.
Greg: (at computer) Oh drat, oh goodness gracious sakes alive. What has gone wrong? (Greg walks back to the group). I am afraid something demagnetized the memory chip in the camera during the time travel. We only have static, no images.
Alan: Well, I think I must be leaving. Sorry it didn't work, Greg.
Cha Cha: Not so fast, Alan. Look at these. (She passes a partially eaten insect and a piece of plant material to Frank). Mona had these in her hand.
Frank: Wow, would you look at these! This is the tooth of an exctinct Pleisiosaur.
Bill Danaher: When would it have gone extinct?
Frank: About 65 million years ago at the end of the Cretaceous. And this, my friends is the fruit of an ancient cycad tree also dating to the Cretaceous and it's fresh. The time machine works!
Art Fonseca: Then we are going.
Tim Jordan: When do we leave?
Terry Mock: We will need a few days to build the super-size machine and a back-up rescue machine – just as a precaution.
Frank: And we will need a few days to buy equipment and train. How is next Thursday for everyone?.......
I'm Going to Graceland, Graceland, Memphis,Tennessee (borrowed from P. Simon)
As an alien flying saucer is searching the roads, nearby the following conversation is taking place poolside at Graceland
John Noreen: Well, everyone, I have to leave for a recording session, but I will send the waiter out with another bottle of wine. You all still have a lot of catching up do. Stay and watch the moon rise over Graceland. It will be up shortly. Have a good evening.
Leo Restrich: Thanks for including me, Bobbie and Kathy. This has been a pleasant surprise. Say, have you two booked your Reunion Cruise with Monique yet?
Bobbie Mosher Noreen: I booked this morning. I am so excited. We will have three days with our classmates and time to catch up at a relaxed pace.
Kathy: And lucky that so many people can get away at that time. I'm glad the cruise is after the Ryder Cup and the Ski Box Derby. I plan to go to both events. And of course the Iditarod is already over. It was so totally cool for me to be there to see Dave Surges and his dog team cross the finish line first, and hopefully Bob Orlando and Kathi Gibson will be finished filming Batman.
Bobbie: Guess what I heard today from Penny Mertens LaPreziosa who got it from Ralph LaPreziosa who got it from Diann Manemann DePasquale who got it from Elsie Dellecesse Thatcher who got it from Teri Arteaga Romero?
Leo: Who begat whom? I give up, what did you hear?
Bobbie: Diane Moscolo is bringing Arnie Swartzenegger along for the cruise?
Kathy: No! Get outta here! I want to sit at his table.
Bobbie: Oh look, the harvest moon is coming up. (A figure of a man in a sweatsuit and hood walks by the pool and Bobbie beckons him over). Mr. Smith, I would like you to meet two very dear friends of mine. This is Mr. Smith. He used to be in the recording business in this area and worked with all the big stars.
(Suddenly that flying saucer hovers over the pool, brilliant light emanates from it.)
Leo: What is happening? Those lights are so bright!
Bobbie: This is scary.
Mr. Smith (Elvis): I'll protect you, Bobbie. Stay to close to me. (But in an instant the light beam hits our friends and all four people vanish, then the light retreats up to the saucer and it flies to the heavens).
NBC at the Tonight Show:
Ed McMahon: Well, Danny, it was announced tonight the pairing for the new season of Dancing with the Stars.
Danny McMahon: I'm excited. Anybody we know competing this year?
Ed: Well, our own Ponchie Covarrubias is dancing with Christina Aquilera!
Danny: Why, Ponchie, you lucky man. How did you manage that.
Ponchie: John Folse negotiated it into my NBC contract man.
Ed: And the other couples include Jennifer Lopez paired with a Ron Turkal.
Dan: Lancaster's own Ron Turkal and J-Lo? Wow! Who else is dancing this year?
Ed: Leonardo DiCaprio and Liz Pack Jones.
Dan: Liz Pack is a terrific dancer. I hope Lenny can keep up with her.
Ed: And finally Shania Twain is partnered with Alfred Vicuna.
Ponchie: I hope I can impress the judges. The panel this year includes recently retired football great Dave Gieg, King Rex of Sweden, the Prime Minister of the Cayman Islands John Thompson, and the Social Director of Graceland, Bobbie Mosher.
Danny: We should have them all on the show to butter them up for you, Ponchie.
Ponchie: I am way ahead of you, Danny. I already invited them.
Tehachapi, CA, out walking his dog and watching the clear night sky:
Lester Dunkin: Look, Rover, there goes an alien spaceship with blinking, multicolored lights. I sure wish The Shadow would let us in the story. People are traveling to Outer Space, Italy, Sweden, the Playboy Mansion, and even to the Cretaceous. And we are stuck in Tehachapi, Rover. It ain't fair. Well, I guess it could have been worse. The Shadow could have sent us ice fishing with Dave Surges in Duluth.
Here is what Lester Dunkin saw, the very flying saucer that kidnapped Bobbie, Elvis, Leo, and Kathy
Across the Pacific, the competition is underway in Hawaii, Andy Kotnik (upper left in green shirt) caught a big one. And so did Glen Eurich (right center, yellow shirt). Double gnarly. Stay tuned to find how Andy and Glenn place in competition.Jet Setter Rock n Roll Break-up: Peggy leaves Mick: Paint it Black
17 January 23007, Tenerife, Canary Islands.
People Magazine. Story by Richard Martinez.
Ms. Peggy Jones flew from Tenerife to New York early this evening leaving an As Tears Go By Mick Jagger at a local bistro where they had been playing in a revived rock ensemble as the newest members of the Traveling Wilburys. Tom Petty was heard consoling Mick, "Man, this is the Heartbreakers, I'm Free Falling". Bob Dylan interjected, "I can't blame Peggy for making Like a Rolling Stone, the way you treated that lady, Mick. You should be Blowing In The Wind." The Wilburys were attempting a comeback with new front line rock stars after years of inactivity following the deaths of Ray Orbison and George Harrison. Peggy told this reporter, "I Can't Get No Satisfaction around here. Mick had broken too many promises including his wedding vow of Anything You Want You Got It. That man has a Heart of Stone, and as for the Wilburys, tell all of them that this is the End of the Line." She will file for divorce once back in the USA and has no wishes to remain in rock n roll recording. Her last words before entering the gangway to her flight were, "I will be looking for new endeavors, something with adventure travel and a daring younger man. Now get that camera out of my face".
Peggy Jones right after she stepped out from her stretch limo and knocked the camera out of my photographer's hands at Tenerife Airport departures sidewalk. Jagger had one thing right, she still has great legs, but all of us from Alemany know that Peggy is so much more than that - you blew it Mick! We are here for you Peggy.
The Rock N Roll Section of Heaven.
A group of angels are looking down at Peggy Jones boarding her aircraft at Tenerife.
Timothy Hollywood: What a pity the Wilburys are losing Peggy Jones, and she was going to do lead vocal on their reprise of The Monster Mash.
Roy Orbison: Oh Pretty Woman, Don't Walk on By. Come on back to the Wilburys.
George Harrison: Say, Father Weber, can you get me an appointment with God? Maybe He can intervene. My Sweet Lord, I Really Wanna Tell You, the Wilburys are just another band without Peggy. Persuade her to go back.
Archangel Thomas Weber: I will see if I can work you in on Tuesday, George.
Buddy Holly: (Wearing Frank Bonaccorso glasses - see your copy of the Recuerdos and you will know that Buddy Holly copied Frank's style of way too cool bitchin' glasses) Of course I died before the Traveling Wilburys were formed, but my original lyrics for a certain hit song were, "Peggy Jones, Peggy Jones, pretty little, pretty little Peggy Jones." But some guy at Decca Records changed it to "Peggy Sue." I was enamored with Peggy long before Mick ever saw her.
John Denver: There she goes, Leaving on a Jet Plane.
Del Shannon: Hey guys, look over this way, down there at Dallas. See that cheerleader. It's Run Around Sue!
Newest Angel in Rock N Roll Heaven, James Brown: WOOOOOh, when I see Sue, I Feel Good, Like You Know I Should.
Father Weber: Ok, boys, your break is over. Back Sister Arthur Joseph at Choir Practice.
(Note from Shadow: we wanted Janis Joplin to comment on Peggy Jones leaving the Wilburys, but unfortunately, we believe she is in the other place, not R n R Heaven)
20 Parsecs past Pluto inside the Alien Spaceship:
Elvis: Now don't you worry a bit, Bobbie, I've been in space before. You will get used to the zero gravity.
Kathy: (Frightened and clinging to Leo) I just wish the aliens would come out and introduce themselves. Maybe they are friendly.
Leo: If we are going to make wishes, I wish they would drop me off in South Carolina.
Bobbie: But I can't go to outer space. I have to judge the first round of Dancing with the Stars next week. And there is something important I have to do at the Playboy Mansion.
20 Parsecs past Pluto inside the Alien Spaceship:
Elvis: Now don't you worry a bit, Bobbie, I've been in space before. You will get used to the zero gravity.
Kathy: (Frightened and clinging to Leo) I just wish the aliens would come out and introduce themselves. Maybe they are friendly.
Leo: If we are going to make wishes, I wish they would drop me off in South Carolina.
Bobbie: But I can't go to outer space. I have to judge the first round of Dancing with the Stars next week. And there is something important I have to do at the Playboy Mansion.
But what is this, another saucer is following the aliens.......who could that be?
And who do you think will win Dancing with the Stars?
If Mona the monkey could talk, what would she say about the Cretaceous?
Please, Shadow, get Lester Dunkin into the story! Maybe he could open a Dunkin' Donuts stand at the Matterhorn, the Modugno's alone would keep him in business.
If Mona the monkey could talk, what would she say about the Cretaceous?
Please, Shadow, get Lester Dunkin into the story! Maybe he could open a Dunkin' Donuts stand at the Matterhorn, the Modugno's alone would keep him in business.
And take a close look at Granny Clampett's new beau!!!! Doesn't he look familiar, like someone you knew at Alemany??? Poor guy, he's not really very good looking, good thing Granny is near-sighted. Who might Granny really be under that make-up?Alemany 66 grads, just when you thought you were safe, your name might appear on this infamous tabloid. In the very next Volume, Kathy Gordon O'Riley, Rich Corona, Helene "Tina" Cross Hutching, and Judy Brouillette Roddy are among those who debut. Also watch for more Polish grads. We received complaints that too many Italians have been hogging the show. Has anyone noticed that Bob Johnson gets nervous when surrounded by Italians? He had the nerve to ask The Shadow, could his ski box training camp be moved to Kapalua, Hawaii, with artificial snow? Y-O-U are staying in Italy, B-O-B. What's a few death threats? Keep an eye on him, Dispenza. DePasquale keep an eye on Dispenza. Who will keep an eye on DePasquale? Pelzer says, "Who's on first?" Surely the Modugno's are not capable of watching DePasquale, and Kit Figliozzi is always kept in the kitchen cooking for the boys. Guess that leaves Scchief Inspector Rapposelli. Good luck, Beej, you will need it.
(ED. NOTE: Finally, can anyone besides Pelzer figure out how to use the Comment Button at the end of each Volume? We want to hear from you. Who is your favorite Shadow character and why? Who do you want to see with an expanded role? Who has Shadow captured to their inner core? Etc. Etc.)
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